Central High School - Almanac Yearbook (Toledo, OH)

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piked down d' county road faster 'n d' Boers from d' British. Dat's right. He left his laager an' flew d' coop over d' kop so fast d' Greek cops wuz left at d' wire. Dat's no pun, it's on d' level. Say, he only touched d' ground in high places. You couldn't catch him wid an automobile or d' wireless telegraph. Well, he went down d' Manhattan road to d' Bay Shore, an' camped out fer his health an' d' rest of di winter. Dey made some new boats an' steam yachts an' went oii' lookin' fer new worlds t' get conquered in. Dat's right. Dese fellers wuz pretty smooth people if you say it quick, but dey didn't know a naptha launch from a canal boat. W'y, dey couldn't sail a rowboat up 2 lf. Dey made some new boats an' steam yachts. t' Waterville widout hittin' cl' pipe, d' Casino an' d' Wheelin' bridge. Dey didn't know where to go, er how t' git there. Fer six years dey chased around, gettin' lost an' 'rindin' themselves again, but nary a rest anywhere. Some places d' town wuz too slow, or d' rents too high, or d' Pastor's Union got after dem fer sailin' on Sunday an' having class socials, an' dey cert'ny had troubles fer fair, storms, shipwrecks, mumps, an' green paint, till finally a goddess got after 'em. Now I tell yeh, Dink, it's bad enough t' have big t'ings like birds swearin' at you in French, an spoilin' yer appetite, an' giants as big as Oscar Pinks he is, wid one eye Qlike d' bell over by Manual, t'rowin' bricks

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into a scrap wid a gang in annuder ward called Greeks, who wuz a bunch of Dagoes, an' a pretty poor lot of banana-cart pushers dey wuz, too. Dese Dagoes started to lick Eneas an' his gang, au' w'en de d' sbiner wuzn't lookin', dey iired t'ings back an' forth fer fair fer ten years. Den d' Greeks got sick of deir job, an' wanted t' get deir time au' quit, but couldn't scare up d' nerve t' pass it up an' look fer new jobs. Finally dey built a big t'ing like a horse an, bribed a feller, by tellin' him dey'd put him on d' School Board er make him Mayor's clerk, t' tell d' Trojans t' take dis horse into cl' city. Well, dis feller gave d' Trojans a bully speech, an' slung d' bojeeu fer fairy tales, stringin' 'em along till dey wus goin' t' take it in. But dere wuz one feller wot didn't want d' horse, he'd jes been defeated fer d' Board of Aldermen, an' wuz dead sore. Felly-citizens an' other reprobatesf' ' he says, we don't want dis horse, he says, we has troubles of our own, he says, let d' Greeks take theirs to a policeman, he says, but it wuz no go. G'wan, says' another, yer talkin' t'rougl1 yer hat. I can't, says d' kicker, it's an anacizronzlsmg we don't Wear 'em in Troy ! An' some big snakes ate him up, so he had f-ff, t' keep quiet. N All horses look alike t' me, says one of d' gang, come on, we can put it up by d' Steadman monument, an' dey took it in. But dat wuz a lwrse on d' Trojans, all right, fer it wuz full of Dago sojers, an' dat wuz d' bum inish of Troy, too, fer dey made d' old burg look like d' burnin' of Chicago or twenty-three cents an' a plugged nickel. ' Eneas got away fromld' patrol wagon wid a few friends an' PJ' UXQI'-3-fdf 'We don't want dis horse,' he says.

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at you, but w'en a goddess mixes up you're goin' t' get set back to d' fourth row of d' gallery, sure. A -' But dese Trojans took deir nerve right- wid 'em an' bluffed it through till dey reached a place called Carthage. De shiners run ' in some Trojans, an' dey t'ought it was all oil' wid dem an' dey wuz dead scared. i Di women voted in dat town, an' d' mayor wuz a woman, Dido, an' she wuz boss of d' whole shebang. W'en his fellers wuz hauled up in P'lice Court ZEneas says, f'Look here, Mrs. Mayor, I want t' know w'y you're ipullin' in my gang, they wuzn't doin' nothin', an' if you won't let us alone we'll get out. 'Sure,5' says Dido, suit yourself, but d' police hadn't any business t' bother you, an' I'll have, 'em up on d' carpet-fer it next Week, so you needn't get out fer that, jes' stay an' make yerself at home. So she gave dem a ward fer themselves, an' put a couple of Trojans .on d' Council so dey'd get rich, an' one fwho'd been connected wid d' Troy Fire Department, and so had d' right kind of experienceg on d',Board of Education, so heid make d' town poor, an' all d' Trojans wuz respected and public-spirited citizens wot wouldn't knock d' Centennial er vote fer cl' Gas Plant. But Dido made Eneas tell all about his adventures. He wuz a bully talker, an elegant liar, an' a widower, so he suited Dido right down to 'di ground. She fell 'in love wid him, w'ich wuz hard luck for her. Eneas was a giddy .young t'ing, an' had no objections to a mild flirtation, but w'en Ashe began t' talk about lawyers an' breach of promise, he tiought he'd better leave his happy home an' make-tracks. ' He tipped d' wink t' his captains, an' ,dey began t' load on coal an' get up steam. I ' , .'Bnt one of Dido's friends got next to wot wuz happenin' an' called her up by long-distance phone, an' told her wotwuz goin' on down at d' coal docks. I Den she went to Father ZEneas Qcley always called him papal ani gave him a speil wot would do yer hair up in curl papers. .Well, as I wuz sayin', Bueas didn't say much back to her, he-,wuz too p'lite to sass a woman, 'specially w'en she wuz mayor anhchief ot police, but he cert'ny wished she wuz at Ten Mile Creek iisliin fer- sunnsh, an? dat's no dream. A