Central High School - Almanac Yearbook (Toledo, OH)

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into a scrap wid a gang in annuder ward called Greeks, who wuz a bunch of Dagoes, an' a pretty poor lot of banana-cart pushers dey wuz, too. Dese Dagoes started to lick Eneas an' his gang, au' w'en de d' sbiner wuzn't lookin', dey iired t'ings back an' forth fer fair fer ten years. Den d' Greeks got sick of deir job, an' wanted t' get deir time au' quit, but couldn't scare up d' nerve t' pass it up an' look fer new jobs. Finally dey built a big t'ing like a horse an, bribed a feller, by tellin' him dey'd put him on d' School Board er make him Mayor's clerk, t' tell d' Trojans t' take dis horse into cl' city. Well, dis feller gave d' Trojans a bully speech, an' slung d' bojeeu fer fairy tales, stringin' 'em along till dey wus goin' t' take it in. But dere wuz one feller wot didn't want d' horse, he'd jes been defeated fer d' Board of Aldermen, an' wuz dead sore. Felly-citizens an' other reprobatesf' ' he says, we don't want dis horse, he says, we has troubles of our own, he says, let d' Greeks take theirs to a policeman, he says, but it wuz no go. G'wan, says' another, yer talkin' t'rougl1 yer hat. I can't, says d' kicker, it's an anacizronzlsmg we don't Wear 'em in Troy ! An' some big snakes ate him up, so he had f-ff, t' keep quiet. N All horses look alike t' me, says one of d' gang, come on, we can put it up by d' Steadman monument, an' dey took it in. But dat wuz a lwrse on d' Trojans, all right, fer it wuz full of Dago sojers, an' dat wuz d' bum inish of Troy, too, fer dey made d' old burg look like d' burnin' of Chicago or twenty-three cents an' a plugged nickel. ' Eneas got away fromld' patrol wagon wid a few friends an' PJ' UXQI'-3-fdf 'We don't want dis horse,' he says.

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Iimsey lVlcGlegg on the Wand'rings of Aeneas. ' BY B. A. S. AY, Dink, did youse ever read about A-Eneas? No? Well, straight goods, you've missed it. Dat's right. , 'Huh? Naw, course it ain't written by Burt L. Standish, or d' aut'or of Diamond Dick an' his pals, but it's.about I-247-, an' no mistake. The feller wot speiled dis t'ing passed in ,his checks 'fore Dewey wuz born, but, say, he wuz onto his job, if he did live before Manila Bay. Q He wuzn't up much on de rules of de game, an' got his story balled up once in a While, but considerin' dat he wuz an Eye- talian, there's nuthin' t' kick about. Well, as I wuz sayin', d' story is about a feller called 'Eneas He didn't seem t' have no other name, of de aut'or forgot it, but I ' he wuz a Wize Guy, jes' the same, an' had nerve to burn. He'dA knock wid hislittle hammer once in a while, w'en luck wuz against him, an' call fer his ma-W'ich wuz Mrs. Venus-W'en he wuz in trouble, or d' p'lice wuzafter him for ridin' on d' sidewalk widout a lantc-:rn+ar1' say, Dink, 'I tells yer right here, dat no feller ought t' yell fer de old woman w'en d' gang is after him, dat's right-but he wuz, a warm . baby jes' the same, this Eneas feller.. Well, as I wuz sayin', Hilneas an' d' rest of his push wuz 'called Tro- n D' story is about a feller iEneas. called jans, an' dey hung out at a place called Troy, not Laundry or Ohio, but ies' Troy. Now, dis bunch got

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piked down d' county road faster 'n d' Boers from d' British. Dat's right. He left his laager an' flew d' coop over d' kop so fast d' Greek cops wuz left at d' wire. Dat's no pun, it's on d' level. Say, he only touched d' ground in high places. You couldn't catch him wid an automobile or d' wireless telegraph. Well, he went down d' Manhattan road to d' Bay Shore, an' camped out fer his health an' d' rest of di winter. Dey made some new boats an' steam yachts an' went oii' lookin' fer new worlds t' get conquered in. Dat's right. Dese fellers wuz pretty smooth people if you say it quick, but dey didn't know a naptha launch from a canal boat. W'y, dey couldn't sail a rowboat up 2 lf. Dey made some new boats an' steam yachts. t' Waterville widout hittin' cl' pipe, d' Casino an' d' Wheelin' bridge. Dey didn't know where to go, er how t' git there. Fer six years dey chased around, gettin' lost an' 'rindin' themselves again, but nary a rest anywhere. Some places d' town wuz too slow, or d' rents too high, or d' Pastor's Union got after dem fer sailin' on Sunday an' having class socials, an' dey cert'ny had troubles fer fair, storms, shipwrecks, mumps, an' green paint, till finally a goddess got after 'em. Now I tell yeh, Dink, it's bad enough t' have big t'ings like birds swearin' at you in French, an spoilin' yer appetite, an' giants as big as Oscar Pinks he is, wid one eye Qlike d' bell over by Manual, t'rowin' bricks