Central High School - Almanac Yearbook (Toledo, OH)

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Curse that man! said he. He's been trying- to run me out of town. I wonder if I can do anything to his dog? And so he retired to his 'bed to consider the matter. He .couldn't shoot the dog 3 that would bring the village authorities down on him ationce. But, and here an idea crashed into his brain, he might make the dog a drunkard! Brilliant inspiration! It'l1 take time, 'said he to himself. But it's a sure thing. I'll do it. Thomas Jefferson returned home early- in the morning, look- ing somewhat the worse for wear. He immediately proceeded to make up lost sleep. But in the afternoon, being thoroughly rested, he concluded to visit his friend, the saloon dog, once more. No sooner said than done. In less than five minutes Thomas jefferson was engaged in a game of tag with his new acquaintance. The day Was very hot, the game most exhausting, and Thomas soon longed for a drink. Looking about him, he spied a pan, containing what appeared to be Water. W'ithout a moment's hesitation, he took a long draught. That Water was the strongest that Thomas had ever tasted. It made his control of his legs rather uncertain, and it also caused him to think that 'Y home, was the best place arter all. So, with all the dignity that he could muster, he took his way thither, and spent the next few hours in retirement under the barn. Sad to relate, it required but that one nrst tipple to start him on the down-hill road. The next day brought a craving for an- other experience of those strange sensations. So he revisited the saloon, slunk home by the alley and again passed the day in retirement under the barn. Mrs. Atherton, Ir., gently Won- dered Where Thomas had been all day., and was answered by her spouse with the comforting assurance that he guessed that Thomas J. could take care of himself. And there the matter dropped. I But the mischief was only begun. Thomas liked his drink so Well that he soon took his walk twice a day. He drank more and more each time. I-Ie often came out of the front door of-the saloon, for the keeper allowed him full run of the place, and paraded' home by the main street. Dick Emory, general- do- nothing and wise-man of the village of Gorton, sat upon a cracker-

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Well, said his wife, I do wish there was some way of making him stop his dreadful noise. Come, 1,111 going ing it's late. And so Mr. and Mrs. Atherton, Jr., retired to rest. ' But the dog sat on his haunches, and continued to regard the moon most iixedly. No wonder he did so. Any one in his position would have done the same. In the first place, his name may have had something to do with the matter, for it was Thomas Ieiferson. Secondly, he was most unutterably lonesome, having no canine friends with whom to pass the time of day. But as he ,.....u:: E He was most unutterably lonesome. sat there, the sound of a confused scuflie reached his ears. Then a short yelp or two. Like a shot, Thomas jefferson departed to investigate. ' All the stores of the village were clustered together in one block, on the main street. Occupying one corner of this block was the only saloon the town contained, and directly opposite to itwas the grocery store. Back of the saloon was a large yard, and it was to this place that Thomas had been lured. It did not take him long to get acquainted, and he had a most glorious frolic. Indeed, so loud did the revelry become that the saloonkeeper was recalled from the land of dreams. He glanced into the yard, and, spying a strange dog, he at once recognized him as belonging to Mr. Atherton Adams, Ir.

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box 'in front of the grocery store, and addressed nobody in particular : I wundered why so many promisin' young men must be ruined by drink. Now, thare's'young Ath. Adams. He must go- to the saloon at least wunct every day, an' some days oftenerf' K 4 How d' you know? inquired a listener. I see his dorg there every little while, an' you all know that ar' dorg follers him every whare. V Pshaw! I don't think that Adams hez tuk to drink, replied the other. He ain't that kind. Whether he is 'er not's another question, responded Emory. But thar is the dorgf' ' And, indeed, there he was. Thomas had taken more than was good, even for him. He was lurching and wabbling, trying to walk on both sides of the sidewalk at once, and having a very hard time of it to make any headway at all. Gosh, cried one of I the men at the store. U What in nation's got into the dorg? 'If 'twas a man, I'd say he was drunk. And they all stopped talking, inorder to laugh at the dog's antics. ' But, as luck would have it, Mr. and Mrs. Atherton Adams, Ir., had chosen, this, of all days, to go calling. They had just sallied out of the front gate, and Mrs. Atherton was putting up her parasol, when her attention was suddenly attracted by the sight of a dog lurching towards them. Had it been a man, she would certainly have pronounced him drunk. She gazed for a long minute, and then the parasol dropped from her hands. Atherton ! she almost shrieked. Is that Thomas? I'm almost sure it is ! I can't say for sure, responded Atherton, Ir., but it cer- tainly looks very much like him.',' But the question of identity was soon settled, and by the dog himself. For Thomas, chancing to look up, beheld two people watching him. Even with his befuddled wits he recognized his master and mistress, and was ashamed. With a melancholy howl, he dived into the shrubbery at the edge of the walk, and made an erratic, course off over the lawn. ' Let him go, said Mr. Atherton Qalthough Mrs. A. was not