Central High School - Almanac Yearbook (Toledo, OH)

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me the person ez is the inteleckchual boss o' this institoo- shun. She looked at me ez if she thought I'd lost my wits, an' then she sez, sez she to me, Is it the janiter that you're after? Well, the indignashun riz, kleer up to my throte, but I remembered ez I wuz a lady of good breedin', so I sez, Madam, do you mean to insinooate thet I looks like a woman ez assoshiates with janiters ? If you pleeze, marm, I'm of the aleet U of sarciety. Josiah's third cuzzin is one of the New York polees torse, an' my sister married a man that hed a step-brother who driv a millionairels hosses ! ! When the little skool-marm heerd frum wot a famly I kum, she tuk on a mighty meek air, an' sez she, This way, pleeze, an' with them wurds she led me up a stairs into a little room with chairs strung all around the sides, an, thair, behind a big table, set the principle. Sez the little woman, Mr. Bloo, Qthet's the principlets namej, here is a lady ez wants to see you. The principle wuz a wery nice man, an' sez he, I am pleezed to see you, I'1l attend to you soon. Now fer the lite of me I couldn't see why I needed tendin' to, but I sot still, an' sed nothini I saw a lot of skolers standin' round the desk a handin' the principle little notes. I spose they must ha' bin perskripshuns, cuz he'd ask them if theyid bin sick, an' then he'd write somethin' on the note. I sez to Sairey Ann it wuz nice to hey' a doc- ter fer principle, becuz it saved doctor bills. In t' other side of the room set at sleek lookin' teller, With black hair, a jiggerin' an' a pokin' away at a thing thet made a noize like our noo sewin' machine. I didn't want to ask what it wuz, cuz then them men 'ud say thet women wuz kurious. I never could see thet a woman wuz over-kurious, but I know she can't keep a secret, becuz the kuriosity of her 'husband' is sure to pump it out o' her. Pritty soon, I wuz almost skeered out 0' my wits by a lot o' bells witch 'peered to be ringin' all over the bildin', an' all the skolers begin to run out o' the room, an' sez I,

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Sarnanthy Allen at the High School. BY ANNA L. GARBER, '99. E an' Josiah always used to live in the kuntrie, but when our Sairey Ann got growed up to be a young lady, me an, Josh included that we wood send her to som' fashunable city skool, so's she could lern to Egger an' talk ine English, 'cuz if there's anything I jest can't tolerate, it's to hear a young lady of good parentige a makin, awk- ward an' poor sentensus. The skools in our kuntrie wuz good enough for the common run oi people, but me 'an Josiah wanted Sairey Ann to be as kulchered ez we wuz. So, ez I sed afore, I told Josiah to tend the pigs and chick- ens an' do the cookin' while me an' Sairey Ann went a huntin' an inteleckchual institooshun, wich, we'd bin told, could be found in Toledo. The bildin', a big yeller struk- cher, was considurable bigger than Ben Jones's new gro- cery, but I jest picked up all my wominly curridge, an' sez I to Sairey Ann, we won't go round to the back door, sez I, but we'll walk strate in the front. 'Bout thirty feet frum the door, I saw a little woman with a big white apern on, who almost skared me to deth. Just a little ways away frum her wuz another little woman, who wuz staring exackly into the mouth of every girl that kum along, as if she wuz lookin' for Klondike gold nuggits. 'Round her throte she had a imnience fur thing, witch reminded me of the pickchers I wunst saw of sum people thet lived near to a big stick kalled the north pole, witch it peers hez bin lost some plase, an' folks are now huntin' fer it in bulloons. But I walked strate up to the woman in the big white apern, dropt a curtsy to her, an' sez I, Pleze to show to

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brethless With frite, Is the bildin' afire? Is thet a fire- bell ? Oh, ma, Where Will We go, sez Sairey Ann. But the principle explained an' sed, Thet is a class signal. Wouldn't you like to see the auditorium ? The pupils sing this mornin. My, What a big room it Wuz. I couldn't for the life of me see Where so many skolars made there hggers, cuz there wuz only 'bout one skware foot of black-board. ' The chil- dern's classes wuz jest comin' up, an' I noticed thet they 'peered sort oi awe-struck until they got past the first three rovvs of seets, in Witch sot the hnest lookin' young ladies an' men ez I ever did see. Sech intelleckchual faces ! Sech pritty girls ! In the stage stood a little fat man With glasses, holdin' a singin'.book, an, sez he, After the tone, comes a tack. Well, sez I to Sairey Ann, I've heered a good deel in my days, but I never heered about singini with tacks. Its som' city fad, ma, sez Sairey Ann. After the singin' the principle sez, I suppose you Would like to hear some of our recitashunsf' Oh, with plezherr,'7 sez I, as digniidedly ez only a Woman kin be. I spose thet spellin' comes nrst in your skool. Me an' Josiah learned spellin'-. You are mistaken, sez Mr. Bloo, We have kemistrie first, an' With them Wurds he leeds us into a room Where a lot 0' boys and girls wuz stirrin' up stuff in little dishus an, cookin' it on a fire, and a man With glasses Way on the end of his nose wuz teechin, em how to cook. I couldnit tell by the smell of the stuff what on earth they waz cookin' but the principle kalled it kemistrie, an, the man With the glasses sed it Wuz COZI-I3M,. Some more city fads, I spose, but I told Mr. Bloo that I perfur teechin' Sairey Ann cookin' myself. I spozef' sez he to me, 'fthet you are interested in the subjeck of fizio1ogy. O, course it would ha' been the hite 0' stoopiditie to konfess my ignerence, but I included thet it Wuzn't danger-