Central Collegiate Institute - Ye Flame Yearbook (Regina, Saskatchewan Canada)

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CENTRAL INFERNO CWith apologies to Dantel A certain stewed told me about a nightmare held had. It seems that ,+ before retiring, he had absorbed a small z ' snack consisting of one large, very sour Ve- dill pickle, a cup of milk, a slice of cheese, 11 A some left-over sardines, and a large slab , 3-Z of apple pie. It's a wonder he didn't 2 Wgqw W 1 have ten nightmares! cl -e, U He dreamt that he was a second ,, Dante, and ihei he visited e slightly more modern inferno-Central Colle- giate-the souls of the damned being the students tof coursej, and their torturers Ctailed and hornedl the teachers Calso, of courseb. And like all nightmares, this one had no respect for time nor place, nor even people. He arrived near the end of the last period, and after peeking in a few supposedly busy rooms and observing the expressions on the faces of their inmates, he decided that if all the students in Central were laid end to end-they'd be a lot more comfortable-which reminded me of the time Mary Rogers had asked Bob Mitchell: Do you know Norm Kliman? Bob replied: Yea, used to sleep with him. Oh, said Mary, room-mates? No, said Bob, class-mates. Then our nightmare-fellow overheard this conversation in 3A: Have you heard the latest about Miss MacMillan? Noi What? Well she was driving along in her coupe, when a traffic cop stopped her. Don't you know what I mean when I put up my hand? he said angrily. Of course I do, said Miss MacMillan, Pm a school-teacher. Slightly groggy from this one, our D a n t e X KX staggered into 4A 'only i to be revived with a Xxw jolt. Mr. Campbell igwhe believes in jeiiep, Wf , r e looking perfectly ducky H-Z1 4 in a little red suit with yy 4, ' ' ,I Q, horns, was holding forth X 'X X in a most a m a z i n g W ,Qf:3.gQl- manner: 1 1 3,,,g I don't care if you ,ff , came from Saskatoon -zg,,,' W X Q xwlflggl or from Wales, shout- W ed he, you can't do f X C 9 'fb' that in my room. 'f2 : ' CEI? f A' And so, Isabel Hazen gi? and Esther Milner re- T L'- 106 Q

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fff f wow f' .fa , if t X ,.., , f ,i,-i f , ff.. ' J.. '-y gi lUI nai,g X X W ff iv, AT h - ,' THE DIVINE COMEDY '21 N Jef.-Vfiffff it h is WI, Sami' H 'E ll .W I hi - DEDICATICDN Two thousand and one years ago, Quintus Horatius Flaccus Was born. Under the alias of Horace he poured forth an unmitigated strain of third rate Latin poetry which everyone thought was first rate and still does. Sponsored by Maecenas and clubbed by Augustus, he Wrote odes until he owed many a drachma, revenged his father's death and put Augustus in Olympus in one of the reserved seats of the gods. Horace applied for a rush seat after Bfty seven years of decadent life but the joint was packed like the Easter concert. He is remembered for the odes he wrote and praised for the odes he did not Write. May his name be inscribed on tablets of aspirin. 105

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re-1-r L fy:--,,.... I F f. tired to the study room. Dante hastily withdrew to the peace and quiet of a 1B Literature class. The downy-haired freshies were studyingC?D The Lady of the Lake. Deep silence reigned-but not for long. A whispering started in one corner, getting louder and louder. Murray, what's the trouble? Can't you be quiet?l' admonished Mr. Howard. Well, said Murray, I think I can write poetry every bit as good as this stuff of Scott's, and nobody agrees with me.', You think you can, do you? said Mr. Howard, I must say-' I can so, said Murray, Listen: 'The stag at eve drank all he could, And in his stomach he felt good, The grass and leaves digesting well Permitted him a resting spell. No ill harm could this poor stag wail, For all he drank was Adam's ale. And when the sun was beacon-red, The stag he staggered home to bed, His stomach now felt rather tight- And so he tossed in bed all night.' Now what do you think of that? Completely flabbergasted, Dante 7 q!1 departed with great speed from that room. He spied Mr. Oliver, with that proud-papa beam on his face, talk- ing to Mr. Fred Howard. . - , , Why, he was saying, just last night my little girl asked me, 'Papa, are you growing still?' 'No, dear,' .I W answered, 'What makes you think so?' I 'Well,' she said, 'The top of your ,, head is coming through your hair. ' ,e - Oh, but you should hear my X little girl,,' said Mr. Howard, she 4 I recited this to me the other day, isn't Z, QCSH Al' It cute? X X ' Said a cheer- l Q4 V ful old bear in .I H f f A the zoo: - V i Ineverhavetime ' e ' E ' ,H e ,ww to feel blue, ,I I i If it bores me ' you know 1 X - I, L To walk to and n , f qs 2' fe ' ii' I7 357 I reverse it, and I ' 'S' walk fro and to. At last the bell! Recess! Groups of students began to clutter up the halls and Dante forthwith listened in on several conversations. . 107