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Page 14 text:
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CAMPUS COPS Guarding the college from thieves, arsonists, and other troublemakers keeps the campus security force constantly busy, all two of them. Our faithful and ever present Smitty, who seems to have been here longer than many professors, spends most of his time handing out parking tick- ets. But occasionally something hap- pens on campus and security is called into action, like the night a naked man ran into a bunch of Zetas on his way across campus. The guard arrived promptly and the man escaped unharmed. CHAPEL Chapel programs are some of the most worthwhile yet least attended events on campus. Perhaps this is a leftover rebellion from the not so dis- tant days when chapel attendance was required seven days a week. Back then students fought for non- mandatory chapel; now the issue is coed dorms. Most students do attend the President ' s Convocation, though, if for no other reason than to watch the faculty march in proces- sion. Some very good speakers highlighted the program this year. Still on Thursday mornings most stu- dents were anywhere but in chapel. CONGLOMERATE Hey, has anybody seen the other half of that article lying around? Whaddaya mean there isn ' t any- more? What do I do with the rest of this page? The making of a Conglomerate is really a sight to see: ten people crammed into two tiny rooms in the 12
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Page 13 text:
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BOOKSTORE Everybody knows prices are up, but that doesn ' t make a $90 book bill look much better, especially after cleaning out your checking account at registration. Are you kidding? Ten dollars for a paperback? All those books for one history course?!! And nobody really under- stands how the bookstore can buy used books from students for four dollars and sell them back for ten, or where all that extra money goes, but it ' s the only place you can buy your books. And, besides it sells all kinds of items useful to students, like belated birthday cards and candle molds. And you can cash checks there for only a dime. c CAF The college cafeteria is the central gathering place for campus resi- dents. It ' s where you go to catch the latest gossip, and where the guys check out all the freshman girls. After the first couple weeks of school, everybody seems to settle down at one table for the rest of the semester. The food varies from very bad to barely edible and anyone who survives it for four years has to have an iron stomach. It ' s the perfect place for wasting time on your way to the library, but you have to be really hungry to actually eat there. 11
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