Centenary College - Hack Yearbook (Hackettstown, NJ)

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THE GAB AND GOSSIP. L W OWL Leica AND c-:ossml ADS. Bains RESULTS A WANTED-Exceptionally bright student to get my lessons out each night. Easy work. Good pay. Short hours. Address T. U. B. WANTED1SOlH6 one to make a fuss over me. No fooling. Mean business. HUNTER. WANTED-Information which will enable me to recognize a joke, that hasn't been voting for the last seven years. Kindly mail to my assumed name. P. AINSWORTH. LOST-Five minutes in getting to class this noon. Do not return if found. Will make up next Saturday as usual. DOLLY. LosfreTwo ticks. C. B. CLOCK. Losr-My favorite copyrighted expression, Shut up yer mont. 'SWAKOJ Losr-The trail to the Coup, Lost the scent near chemical Lab- oratory. FERGUSON. Lost-Senior dignity. NORTH. Losr-Fellows' drawings for the Hack A muniiicent re- ward awaits the finder. DOLLY. LOST-Collar-button at 7:14 this morning. Please send it up with my breakfast. BARTO. POSITION WANTED as teacher in kindergarten. Best reference fur- nished upon request. Wide ex- perience. B. TALMADGE. Pos1T1oN WANTED as confiden- tial adviser on matters of IM- PORTANCE only. E, J. HAN- FORD. l I 1 belt line. 'stock on my POSITION is desired to replace gas lamp on prominent street- corner. Will ignite easily. DE- BLOIS. POSITION desired as traveling- companion to has-beensf' Can furnish testimonials. W. H. BACHELER. FOUND-This year a quantity of green material in the guise of new men. Fon SALE-Information on any suitable subject for three-minute speeches. Each speech accom- panied by a jig. DQW. Fon SALE-Heavy and Light Brass, together with other junk. G. A. BUCKLEY. Fon SALEZLTY scholastic at- tainments. Come early and avoid the rush. ADAMSON. For. SALE1MY list of jokes from 44 to 66 inclusive. Suitable for table use. J. L. BROOKS. Fon SALE-A horse grown old in the service of his master. BROKAW. Fon SALE-50,000 numbers. STIEHLER. Fon SALE-1000 copies of my Inquiry into the State of Sim- plified Simplicity. JAY HAN- FORD. Fon SALE?-HYGS. Just what I thought you TERS. would say. WIN- FOR SALE--Half-share in the I've got too much hands now. GREG- ORY. Fon SALE-Old stews and ham in abundance. CHAS. FULLER. This will introduce the three fdisj Graces from Newark, namely: Lurich, .lung and Flem- ing. They have the fabled trio on a dead run, Come and see them perform every night. Try my elixir of cheerfulness. Will cure the worse case of grouch. JAKE. Use my Ten to One that it doesn't Work Hair Tonic. Use it myself. W. F. HUNTER. Use my world famous cure for Daylight Somnambulismf' SY- RETT. - BIG SHOW - Four FEET and Bouamm Bios. Hurry Peoples. Get your tickets ready Special Music by Jake's Band. Thrilling scene by ng DOC' 0 Heinie will crack his face for the crowd. Special Ring Work by the Fly- ing Tub. More the Contortionist will bite his ears. Famous 'trainer of Ponies, Linder, will perform. The Fat Man, Scherp, will be on inspection. LIZZIE, the Bearded lady will appear for the first time. S. and A. Clark, the Siamese Twins, will be there. Follow the Band Wagon tif Jake permitsj.

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THE GAB AND GOSSIP. METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART. Artis1:'s Work. Accepts Famous New York City, The Metropolitan are charging special rates on Tuesday and Thursday of each week, on which days they have on exhibition some rare drawings of Mr. Harold Fellows, which have attracted the attention of masters and art students of this and for- eign countries, which ensure their author a prominent place among modern artists. June 2, 1908:- Musenm of Art 5 . The drawings in question are those which Mr. Fellows made for The 1908 Hack, published by the students of Centenary Col- legiate Institute, and it has been only after much expense and ne- gotiation that the Museum secured thesu remarkable productions. Mr. Fellows is extremely jealous of his works, and objects to hav- ing them copied or even photo- graphed, and we, therefore, con- sider ourselves very fortunate in that we are able to show to our readers minute and exact repro- ductions of Mr. Fellows' draw- ings as they were 'printed in the Hack, being photographs of the originals themselves. GREAT LITERARY CRITIC'S AD- VICE TO YOUNG AUTHORS. Princeton, N. J., May 30, 1908 -The Great Cham of English Literature, Professor Joseph Cooke Fitts, recently published an ar- ticle in one of the monthly re- views giving special instructions to adventurers in the field of literature. We here give as much of this article as we think can be assimilated at one reading. Among other things Professor J. C. Fitts' hints: Mon1entary redections upon any of the ancient writers are permissible: after prefixing such preambles as, 'conforming to the idiomatic hieroglyphics of the Hebrewsg' or 'as the classical Greek would sayg' or 'quoting from that famous Roman oratorg' or 'that masterful German scholar well statesg' or 'as the courteous Frenchman would put itg' and even reference might be made to English literature beginning, 'ex- pressed in the profane language of the English speaking raceg' then, quote after each, the apt illustration in its original char- actersf' Prof. Fitts further says: In promulgating esoteric cogitations, do not allow your cerebrum to interchange reininiscences with the cerebellum, whereby the su- perficial sentimenialities would bewilder the mental capacity of the peruser of such a. conglomera- tion of grayish matter. Beware of insipiditiesg of circuitous expatiations upon truthg of occult and insidious castigations of explanatory ram- ifications on the nm-r of contem- poraneous authors. Finally, let your statements possess coalesant consistency, concentrated cogency, illuminating simplicity, and well-rounded con- clusivenessf' SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA Plays to Crowded Auditorium. Boston, Mass., June 2, 1908.- The musical concert given last evening in the auditorium has been pronounced by the critics to have been the loudest ever heard in Boston. The seating capacity and also the standing room of the spacious building were taxed to the utmost, and most of the seats were occupied long before the fixed time for commencement. The reputation which John V. Jacobson's Symphony Orchestra has gained in Baltimore, Phila- delphia, New York and lately in Chicago, has been tremendously augmented by his last perform- ance in this city. Bouquets of cabbage-heads, eggs, etc., greeted his appearance, and as he was bowing, was struck in the eye with an ancient eggg so, that, much to the regret of the audi- ence, he was unable to complete the affair of the evening. SENATOR FROM OHIO EXPECTS RE-ELECTION. 2, 1908-Am Ohio's list of the Hon. W. massive brow come to be an unwelcome sight in the Sen- ate where he so nobly misrepre- sents this state. He is confidently looking forward to re-election because of his firm stand in defense of the canteen. Canton, O., June other statesman in illustrious men is H. Bachelor, whose and eagle eye has REVISION OF PENAL CODE. New Measure Before the Assembly. Albany, N. Y., June 1. 1908.- A bill has been introduced into the Assembly by Mr. Edward Stiehler which provides for pun- ishment of all crimes short of felony. This measure is being bitterly opposed by a number of Asseniblyinen under the leader- ship of T. Cook, as it provides for a mode of punishment which is entirely new, namely, that one convicted under the new law will he compelled to write fifty-thou- sand numbers 150,000 NUMBERS! every day of imprisonment. They say that Mr. Stiehler's own ex- perience with lhe manner of pun- ishment under consideration ren- ders his arguments doubly eifec- tive. PHENOMINAL RUN At the Olympian of 'tEarly Morning Reveries. Buffalo. N. Y.. June 1, 1908.- Early Morning Reveries at the Olympian is the most popular play of the season, and has had a continuous run of two nights without intermission. Its phe- nominal success is due chiefly to the remarkably realistic repro- duction by the leading man, Mr. . , .4f , Q UU 1 :faq ' 'Wi rg t 5 ,W I 1 tj ' K K C 3 .' 'f 7-,Z l Carl N. More, an actor of con- siderable repute, who is begin- ning to appear more and more before the theatrical world. Some say, indeed, that the fifth act, which is an early morning scene, at fifteen minutes past seven, is so exquisitely played by Mr. More, that the audience experi- ence considerable diiiiculty in keeping awake.

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TRIP FIVE 123 Uhr A E 0111 51101. Ol. 31. is the Alphabet we will finish ere long. also for Athlete so bold and so strong. is for Baseball, where we're right up to date. stands for Coop when to break- fast you're late. for Prof. Denman his coop list adorning. for Exams which cause us much mourning. stands for Freshman, poor, ig- norant child. for the Grinding that is far from mild. stands for History years and years back. is for ignorance which none of us lack. for the junior girls in pretty frocks. for their Kerchiefs and also their Knocks is for Lemons None here we know. stands for Nlath. which troubles us so. stands for the New Gym which has not yet started. for the Office, where our checks have departed. for the Profs. whom we always revere. stands for Quitters let none ap- pear here. stands for the Roughouse we never are in. for the Sophomore accused of this sin. is the Trouble we always do find. for Under-Classmen who never grind. is for Vacant as applied to some heads. W' for the Work that the student just dreads. XY:Z as you see, but, just look, YHR-Xam's Zero, in Prof's. rec- ord Book?