Celoron High School - Sentinel Yearbook (Celoron, NY)

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THE PIONEER-Nineteen Thirty-one THE PRIVATE LIFE OF JASON jason was trudging along the road toward town, muttering to himself, Darned in- convenient not having any way of getting to town except walking! And then I had to lose my shoe helping that dame across the brook. They were good shoes, and I had them only three weeks. Florsheim's best! Ten bucks, I paid. Hades! If a chariot or some vehicle would only come along, I could get a lift. But none came and so jason had to walk all the way. When he arrived in town, he went immediately to his uncle's palace. When jason's wicked uncle, Pelias, saw jason, he got quite a scare. He had been to a seance down at Delphi a few weeks past and had been warned that a young man with one shoe would mean his doom. Without even saying, Hello, jason, how are you ?', and shaking hands, Pelias howled at the innocent lad, Go and fetch the golden fleece. jason was about to swear at his uncle but instead, he counted ten. Then he turned and walked out of the palace, being careful to bang the gates behind him. He went immediately down to the office of Delphi Dirt, the local newspaper. jason told them to take his picture and print a notice in the paper that he was going to Colchis to get the golden fleece. Soon jason was swamped with letters from big-shots and boy-scouts, requesting to go along with him. Out of the mob he chose Theseus and Hercules who were both big all- round sportsmen and famous for their muscleg Pollux, the prize fighter, Castor, the horse- man, and Orpheus, who could play the lyre like nobody could! Of course jason chose others who were not so famous as these mentioned. When jason had the yacht, Argo, ready and after they had given a radio program, they were ready to sail. After many adventures and good times, the Argonauts arrived at Colchis. jason went to Aetes, the king, and asked him for the golden fleece. Aetes, who was tight, though not Scotch, only laughed and said, Oh, there are a few little things you can do for me before you get it. But stick around awhile, maybe we can make up a foursome and play a round. And how about a little poker game to- night? The little things Aetes asked jason to do were considered impossible. But Medea, Aetes' daughter, the vamp and gold-digger of Colchis, who was friendly with the witches, took a liking to Jason and offered to help him. Besides, she was tired of all the men of Colchis and welcomed him as a new plaything. jason, who was no ladies' man, nevertheless thought Medea was a pretty good look- er. He agreed to let her help him. So by the help of Medea, jason, acting toreador, conquered some bulls, plowed a field, planted some teeth, and shot down all the soldiers that sprang up with his trusty E473

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THE PIONEER-Nineteen Tlairiy-one and doing very well. Paul's face is also familiar in the stock exchange. Mr. Jones will be our first millionaire if he is careful. Phylis LeChien seems to have disappeared, at least no information is available con- cerning her. Clifford Terrible Terry, being such a far-sighted individual, obtained a position with the Silbert Optical Co. He drives a Ford with the same tactics he used in football, passing anything moving and hurdling any stationary object. Royal Ritch, musician, poet and lecturer, is doing well at Beshgetoor's Music Em- porium. He also plays in an orchestra during his spare time. Donald Boardman and William Hillwig liked old Alma Mater so well they took Post-Graduate courses. Donald is editor of the school paper and William aided the foot- ball and basketball teams to victories. Late word comes in that Isabelle Carpenter is a bride of long standing. I hope my informant is correct. jolly Harry Fritz, of athletic prowess and mental ability, has absolutely disappeared. No one knows his whereabouts it seems. His many friends would appreciate his address or any word from him whatsoever. Last but not least comes word of your writer, ladies and gentlemen. I am at present under the observation of distinguished scientists and working in conjunction with them. This group is watching me to see just how long a person may do nothing but sleep and still not become a fossil. ELDON LANE Class of '30 E461

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THE PIONEER-Nineteen Thirty-one little machine gun. Then at midnight, he and Medea went out and stole the golden fleece that Aetes had maliciously tacked up on a tree out of human reach. They were then ready to sail back, but Medea was not going to let jason off so easily. She demanded that he take her home with him. All right, said jason, vaguely thinking that perhaps he could get rid of her later. So the Argonauts returned to Iolcus from Colchis, where they were greeted by the largest mob that ever gathered on the streets of lolcus. Lindbergh's reception was a mere handful of people compared to the welcoming group out for the Argonauts. jason was presented with the key to the city. They had a parade down the main avenue and later, a banquet. Jason gave the golden fleece to Pelias, and in return, he received a silver medal, the first of its kind ever presented. MARJORIE MAVIS PADDOCK Class of '34 M81