Cathedral College of the Immaculate Conception - Annual Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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A N N U A L l 9 3 6 0 0 Fifth Year- Section One MATEUB hours and contests have come to occupy an important place in the world ot amusement, especially on the radio. Do not be deceived into thinking that Major Bowes gets all the talent. We will match the Ama- teurs in our class with anybody's amateurs. First of all, we present Iohn Iatkowski of Bay Ridge, our Amateur Coin Collector. Testimonials of his diligence and industry can be obtained with scarcely any effort by writing to any member of this class and enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope. Next on the program is Thersites Hume, Amateur Artist, who also acts as the Cathedral tennis team on special occa- sions. As the wheel of fortune spins, we found ourselves listening to the melodious strains produced by Fritz Bubinoff Cosgrove, our Amateur Violinist, who is notorious for having fiddled while the students burned. Following him, as usual, is Tom Ryan, the Amateur Horse-Tamer from Omaha, who has con- quered many a pony in his five years with us. Hiding behind the huge bulk of our gay equestrian is Domne lnnocens Lubey, Amateur Villain, all around rogue, occasional scamp, Little Boy Blue and Latin Student. After this creature you will be entertained by no less a performer than lohn 'lGrumpy O'Connor, Amateur Spectacle Polisher and Twirler, the man who invented the whispering campaign. Act ll will be opened by Wally Missback, Amateur l-lead Splitter, who Will positively and without the least trickery crack two hardwood floors and a marble column with his bare, unaided cranium. Next in order comes Hugh Byrne, Amateur lce Walker and present holder of the world's record for the Two Foot Crash. Close behind Doctor Byrne is Quintus Fabius Heffernan, Amateur Name Gatherer, whose appellation it laid end to end would certainly clutter up the Latin class. Then we have Pete Altman, Amateur Masticator and Sandwich man, who will devour at one bite a loaf of bread in any class designated by the audience. Bringing this act to a close is George Staiger, Amateur Baden Baden Bad Man, the only man who can keep Lubey under control. As the final act begins we find the stage occupied Cliterallyl by Ernie Vohs, Amateur Floor-Duster, who specializes in worm's eye-views of basketball courts. The next performer is Charley Vogel, who will entertain you with marvelous tales of the Seven Seas. By now you are ready for Edgar Guest Dengel, Amateur Poet, and But Slinger, who thinks Homer is great, But-. After him comes little Charles Muggins Buby McGee, the Amateur Fuller Blush Man. Then comes another Charleyg this time one of the Girnius clan, our Amateur Ford Driver, whose chief occupation consists in avoiding Poles. Galloping behind Charley's Ford VZSU4 we see loe David, our Amateur Run- ner, who is training for a six-mile match race around Lake Killarney against Chris Haggerty. Next is Barney Molloy, Amateur Basketball Spectator and Library Magazine Collector. Last but not least, we present as a fitting finish to our show, Professor Albert Witterholt, Amateur Long Distance Food Con- sumer, holder ot all world's records for non-stop eating. lOSEPH F. DAVID, '37, 45

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FIFTH YEAR - SECTION ONE

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FIFTH YEAR - SECTION TWO