Cathedral College of the Immaculate Conception - Annual Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

Page 120 text:

OOCATHEDRAL DEN xt' ,I-IUCKL DINKLE FOR PRESIDENT NCE every tour years, as all good Americans know, trumpets blare, con- tetti ilies and the bandwagon starts to roll, as our political circus comes to town. This is 1936. Already the mud is flinging, blatherskites are ringing- it's Presidential Yearll This year of all years the ANNUAL feels it must depart from a normal policy of non-partisanship, and support the Republicratic nominee, D. CD. tor Dainoclesl Dinkle. We do so not because we think an awful lot of Dinkle, but chiefly because we believe with Dante that when rid- ing to I-Iell theres nothing quite like having the Divil CD. tor Damoclesl as en- gineer. So with a toot-toot and a tweet-tweet, were ottl May the worst man winl ' Campaign song Crnay be sung to any tunel: COLLEGE Ohl Everything's punk in Punxsatawney VVe'll make everything okay And it I had another He would march beside his brother - Dink, Dink, Dinkle hoorayl Campaign slogans: tRepeatl A moth in every closet, a shirt on every back. Bustard or bustl A vote for us is a vote for us. The world's our onion-let's skin it. All bull and a yard wide. Boost Bustard and be burnptious, A boll for every weevil, a beet for every cop. DINKLE ACCEPTS NOMINATION BLOODWORT, Indiana, Iune 21, 1936- D. KD. lor Damoclesl Dinkle, Well-known Flathead Indian chief, received his official nomination as candidate for the Presidency here last night before a large audience in Blue Skunk Lodge No. l of the Loyal Order ot Hail-Fellow-Well-Met. Little Miss Oaken Buckit, also a local Flathead, presented the nominee with a bouquet ot asatoetida, while the crowds roared and the band played God Save Our Happy Homes. Darnocles next rendered his speech ol acceptance. Our reporter happened to be covering a pie-eating contest, so We didn't get a copy of the speech. However, we will reprint a very old speech of accept- ance which has been used by every nomi- nee since the days of Polk. tOne more Polk like that, and we won't get up no rnore.l

Page 119 text:

A N N U A L l 9 3 6 0 0 The Annual Staff N consideration of the fine cooperation which every member of the class of l936 manifested toward the Annual, it would be unjust to exclude them in mentioning the ANNUAL Staff. When the process of compiling the ANNUAL had gotten under Way, the entire class responded to the call of Doctor Morrow and of those who were designated by him as members of the staff. After school the classroom was a buzzing center of activity as the students milled about, discussing possible advertisers or patrons and as others submitted to the editor the literary assignment which they had prepared. Every man Went out to do his share with the avowed intention of making the l936 ANNUAL a success. When the ANNUAL Staff had been chosen by Father Morrow, early in the school year, it set about at once to make plans for the publication of the ANNUAL. After several meetings the preliminary plans were prepared and the theme and dedication were decided upon for the book. Work now began in earnest. Frank Tyrell, as Editor-in-Chief, had a difficult task upon his hands, being responsible for all the literary material of the book. The 1936 ANNUAL bears mute testimony to the endless hours of work he spent in preparing and creating material so that the book might be a success. To George La Flare, the Business Manager, and Paul Meconi, the Chairman of the Patrons Com- mittee, We owe special Words of appreciation for their untiring efforts as is evidenced in the great number of ads and patrons. The Staff Artists, joseph Buckley, Gerald Ryan, lohn Norris, loseph l-lolahan and Donald Edwards, are to be highly commended for their excellent work. Their hours of toil and months of thought are likely to be passed over lightly, but we are indeed grateful for their contributions. Then there are the other members of the Staff Who worked equally hard but who are easily forgotten: Robert Barnwell, Michael Fleming, Louis Ferber, james Hennegan, lerome Murphy, Ernest Vohs, and Anthony Logatto. And to all who have helped us in any Way We praise and thank. Especially are We grateful to our advertisers and patrons and We hope that all our readers will remember them and patronize them. No mention has been made as yet about the most important member of the ANNUAL staff who has the difficult task of choosing the staff and in kindling in the entire school a zeal to support the ANNUAL. As Faculty Adviser he undertakes the tremendous responsibility of insuring a successful publication, a responsibility which entails no little Worry. We of the ANNUAL Staff are indeed thankful that We have one such as Father Morrow, to Whom We can go with our problems and We are sincerely grateful for the Work he has done in the past and at the present in making this ANNUAL a success. lt is the candid hope of the 1936 Staff of the ANNUAL that everyone of its readers will enjoy the book as we enjoyed publishing it. ll3

Page 121 text:

A N N U A L I 9 3 6 0 ' Candidate's Speech of Acceptance My friends, keenly aware as I am of my humble capacities and limited abilities, I also realize that I am the one man' in all the Americas best qualified for the task that lies before me. I venture to say you couldn't have picked a better man more unworthy of this high office. Search the wide world over, from the alabastric coast of Maine to the prune-fed portals of the Pacific, and I dare say without fear of contradiction that even with a fine-tooth comb you couldn't find a rarer specimen of political termite or humming humbug. And now, my friends . . . people's choice . . . friend of the farmer . . . wolf of'Wall Street . . . sterling character . . . fearless . . . brave . . . signal honor . . . solemn duties . . . spirit of independence . . . . . . Iackson . . . Iefferson . . . Madison . . . Lincoln, Nebraska . . . etc., etc. . . . Thank you ver' ver' much. POPULAR CANDIDATE FIRES OPENING GUN IN CAMPAIGN HON. DINKLE'S SPEECH IS PRINTED HEREIN FORTHWITH GREENPERNT, U. S. A., Iune 23.-Friends, citizens, Yahoos. As I gaze upon this vast sea of homely faces, I say to myself, I say, Verily, old sock, it's a small world after all. And now, my misbeguided constituents, let me give you some idea of how things are going to shape up when I'm elected to this country's most exalted office. To begin with, there'll be no more of this Mr. President stuff. No more Mr, President this and Mr, President that. Iust call me 'Prez, folks. Iust plain Prez, that's all. I want you to feel right at home in your own country. I want you to be able to walk right up, slap me on the back and say, How d'do, Prez, or Looks like rain, Prez. For seventy-five thousand per an- num, you can even kick me in the slats. And any old time one of you brothers passes through the Capital city, why just you come right up to the White House fit'll be the Green House thenl, park your feet on my desk, smoke my best cigars, spit in the presidential cuspidor, and let no man say you nay. Friend of the peepul, that's mel Now what do you want to do for you when l'm elected? Speak up: clon't be afraid. I'll promise you anything, any- thing at all. Did I hear some one say Free hamburgers? Right. Well, just you listen to me, folks. When I get to Wash- ington, the first thing I'll do, I'll just press one of them there little buttons, and soon as one of them little pot-bellied senators pokes his head through the door, I'll just say, I'll say, l0O,UOU,IJOO hamburgers com- ing up. That's what I'll say, And sho' nuff, folks, each and every one of you will get his or her hamburger. Won't cost you a nickel. Absolutely, And if anyone says Listen. When I get to Washington, I'll just take my pen in hand and write another one of them constitutional amendments. Free baseball tickets for all children over sixteen. How's that sound? Why, there's no reason at all we should pay to see them there fellers enjoying themselves playing ball. 'l'hey're having a good time, ain't they? Why can't we? Yes, sir, folks, when those history people start a-writin' some more books, you know what they'll say? They'll just say, Mr. President Din- kle, the man which put baseball flat on its back. That's where baseball belongs, anyway. It's silly to be chasing a little ball around a big lot on a hot afternoon. As soon as you catch it, they take it off you and hit it somewhere else, anyway. That's the way Dinkle does it. Don't you go listening to what my opponents say. What they say is all poppyrot, thats what it is. lust plain poppyrotl They Want to know how l'm going to balance the budget. Imagine thatl What do they think I am, cr trained seal? Folks, before I get through with our national deficit, we won't have to budge-itl And don't forget, my opponents all have vice-presidents to help them out. With me it's a one-man job. Besides, there's nobody can take my place, anyway. My only answer to them and my one warning to you will be the words of Erasmus, Beware the Grix bearing giftsl And now, my dear friends, just one part- ing word. Remember that a vote for me is a vote for you. But be sure you vote for mel