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Page 21 text:
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jr;-;-:-:-;-;-:-:-;-;-:-;-;-;-;-;-:--:-;-;-:- the ketochi she left high school. Her chief occupation is teaching ten-year-olds simple reci- tations in her exclusive “Talkelite” Dramatic School. Radio station announces Walter Nicholls from Jupiter’s largest moon. He has set up a net work to serenade all of his best girls. Walt has met with the difficulty of serenading all the girls instead of his best one—Walt has become a ladies’ man. Since the development of the high voltage, superpowered, trans-solar system radio, a new difficulty has arisen, that of finding a voice with a definite fre- quency and a correct volume, which the sensitive machine must have to work correctly. The report is that Emily De Florio is trying out successfully to act in this capacity. Our operator now jiggles his mechanical apparatus, until he at last gets a strong ether wave from Neptune which brings news of the modern “row- right” dairy under the personal siqiervision of Mayfred Parkhurst, which sup- plies the Milky Way. This dairy is situated near the edge of the planet, so his Ford Rocket delivery cart may be shoved off the edge when it refuses to work in the prescribed manner. (ins Haley, who is situated on Mercury for privacy's sake, has been experi- menting for the last fifty years on his special chemical compound to extermin- ate vagrants. He plans to complete this experiment within the next twenty- five years, and when he does, he will begin a new study to regain his youth, lost in composing the vagrancy compound. On Jupiter we see Madame Florence Cummings, manager of the Cascade Rocket Reality Salon, mixing tri color ether rays with midnight hues, to make her special patent peaches and cream complexion compound. On receiving a report from Saturn, the mystery of the increasing beauty of the splendorous rings around this planet has been cleared. We find that Margaret Cone, an Earthian, who took her first dancing lessons on the school- house steps, is dancing those brilliant rainbow circles around the planet. Our operator now turns in on the central inter-solar system offices, where we see Sir Howard O'Neill presiding as president of the universe. Howard first secured a start holding official positions by declining the vice-presidency of the 11)32 graduating class, but being unanimously overruled. While we are still at this central office we glance across the room and catch a glimpse of Nellie Strunk, who in a spare moment from dictation from the desirable position of Howard's knee, is using, by special permission of the copyright owners, the peaches and cream complexion compound given to her as a special gift by the inventrix of this special beauty treatment. Our operator now whisks us away by the magic of ether rays to the sun where we see John Jr. Thompson running his Rocket Service station. John, when interviewed, states that he received his first valuable lessons in this type of business under the supervision of Kenneth Rriscoe, at the ('outmental Service Station at Cascade. John further states he plans on returning to the earth, and remodeling the historic Continental Service Station into a modern Rocket Service Station.
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Page 20 text:
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tt :- :-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-: :-:-:- the ketochi CLASS PROPHEC Y Interstellar News, Inc.—1082, May 27— A ray message has just been received from a retired Professor of Physics, Miss H. Mellen, of Pluto. She requests us to find all possible information on that famous H. S. class of 1032. We will do the best we can, although our radio operator, Fred Tintinger, doesn't understand all he knows about our five-hundred tube super-heterodvne ether jumper. Mars reporting—very hot—Dwight Flechsenhar, Mars Horticulturist spe- cialist, is having difficulties in checking the invasion of the new mechanical fly, which became uncontrollable after Professor Higgelsworn died, who lelt no information for the checking of this fly. Mars still sending ether rays—The Xaughton Construction Company, under the personal supervision of Pat Xaughton has just completed the Martian Way, new transplanet highway. Pat's next undertaking will be to oil and gravel the Milky Way, after which he says he is coming back to Earth and work for the Montana Highway Commission at Cascade. Another message has just been received from the planet Vulcan. George Seaton is preparing his sermon on “Preciosity of a Pendulum, to be delivered in the Big Dipper. Click-Click-Click—The ether waves in spite of much joggling are beginning to clear up and we are getting news from Pluto—Roy Wiegand, a great celes- tial scientist and mathematician, is now teaching a class of Plutonian scien- tists. The noted professor has for the last twenty years been working on a scientific problem concerning the balancing of the new planet “Sullwinia.” Because of its being out of balance it has caused tremors in the ether waves, which upset the proper growth of the staraniums growing on the Milky Way. O. K. Chicago—Venus reporting—Bertha Flanagan, who is teaching Home Economics on this planet has discovered that she must be a diplomat as well as a cook. A serious controversy arose the other morning and in the ensuing argument one Venusian beat another to death with one of Bertha’s flaky biscuits. Clear weather—report coming—station clear—Moon news—Loris Brown is ofierating a station to send out ether waves which operate all the pianos throughout the solar system. Much criticism is offered by the planetarians because the stirring rhythm of the music keeps them continually dancing and interferes with the washing machines. Lois Brown is operating an outlaw station on Uranus, her sole ambition being not to present worthwhile programs but to drown out Loris’s programs from the moon. As yet her efforts have been in vain, as the ether rays collide with Loris’s and are overwhelmed by them. Screech—Scram—The new planet Vocatus (the talking one) reporting— Melva Reynolds is at present competing in an interstellar extemporaneous speaking contest. It seems as if Melva will win. She has been talking ever since :: Panto 16 1932
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