Cascade (AD 16) - Naval Cruise Book

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pipe and disappeared into the sea. The U.S.S. CASCADE continued on her course at a steady gait of so-and-so many knots. Came the dawn. In the early hours of which all junior Polliwog officers were posted as lookouts at strategic points about the ship — uniform of the day . . . raincoats, helmets, and diving shoes. Each was given a station, with explicit instructions to sing out whe i King Neptune was sighted. Quite a bit of concern was manifest over the unmilitary way these lookouts stood their stations, and each was promised additional charges would be brought against him, with confinement in the stocks the predictable penalty. Shortly after 0900 the neighing of seahorses and the lusty call of King Neptune was heard on the ship. All hands were at once called to quarters and His Royal Highness Neptunus Rex, Ruler of the Raging Main and All Things Therein, came aboard with his Royal Court. There was the Queen, looking younger than she has in years; the Royal Princess, so beautiful that words fail us (they had already failed her) ; the Royal ' Baby, crying for this and that and getting everything. And to complete the entourage there were the Judges and the Prosecutors, the Royal Torturers, the Royal Elec- tricians, Barbers, Bears, Cops, and all others of the Royal Staff. After greeting the Captain his Most Royal Highness inspected the crew — paying particular attention to all those who had come for the first time into his Domain. After the inspection, both he and the Royal Court pro- ceeded to the Throne Room set up aft of the Bridge Deck, and without further ado opened Court. Those called to appear before the Court first were the worst offenders: all those who had on any occasion, whether real or imagined, wilfully disobeyed any law- ful order or whim of any Shellback; those who had at any time or place made derogatory remarks about the Royal Person, or in any manrer sions upon the Queen, the Princess, « jya The Court, being just, these slimy oi ' ender- ,ii given without exception what might Le l. fe works. Then came the less obnoxious offenders, and then that great army of those slimy creatures who shared the unspeakable joint crime of being Polliwogs — even worse than that, polliwogs. Pouring these into the hopper ' • great batches the wheels of justice ground relentle? on — the Court upholding throughout the day its proud boast that it had never lost a case, the Royal Barber and the Royal Bears all having fun — quantities of it. It was not until the middle of the afternoon that all landlubbers had received their just desserts, and had been formally initiated into the Mysteries of the Royal and Ancient Order of the Deep. So far as could oe ascertained without actually committing mayhem, not a single slimy Polliwog remained at large on the ship. All had been tracked down and transfor.ied in the space of a single day into salty, swaggering Shellbacks. After all hands had taken what steps tlit, deemed necessary to de-grease and de-tar ( high-test gasoline is not. recommended) and had regained some measure of their former dignity, all sat down to a specie nner in honor of His Royal Highness. Havin his rolls some 900 names. His Majesty was leased with the day ' s work and was seen to eat a i. .ty meal. After all available viands had jjeen disposed of, Neptlnus Rex bade all hands a fond farewell. Then we all embraced the Princess in par ' his Impe- rial and Highly Exalted Majesty rei to his home in the briny deep. And as he went over th e there rang in his ears the hunting refrain of the n,;w Shell- back. Note jiisl let me get mv hands on a . ■ ' Polli- ivog . . . than irhich there is nothing slimier. Page Tuenly-five