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Page 29 text:
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pipe and disappeared into the sea. The U.S.S. CASCADE continued on her course at a steady gait of so-and-so many knots. Came the dawn. In the early hours of which all junior Polliwog officers were posted as lookouts at strategic points about the ship — uniform of the day . . . raincoats, helmets, and diving shoes. Each was given a station, with explicit instructions to sing out whe i King Neptune was sighted. Quite a bit of concern was manifest over the unmilitary way these lookouts stood their stations, and each was promised additional charges would be brought against him, with confinement in the stocks the predictable penalty. Shortly after 0900 the neighing of seahorses and the lusty call of King Neptune was heard on the ship. All hands were at once called to quarters and His Royal Highness Neptunus Rex, Ruler of the Raging Main and All Things Therein, came aboard with his Royal Court. There was the Queen, looking younger than she has in years; the Royal Princess, so beautiful that words fail us (they had already failed her) ; the Royal ' Baby, crying for this and that and getting everything. And to complete the entourage there were the Judges and the Prosecutors, the Royal Torturers, the Royal Elec- tricians, Barbers, Bears, Cops, and all others of the Royal Staff. After greeting the Captain his Most Royal Highness inspected the crew — paying particular attention to all those who had come for the first time into his Domain. After the inspection, both he and the Royal Court pro- ceeded to the Throne Room set up aft of the Bridge Deck, and without further ado opened Court. Those called to appear before the Court first were the worst offenders: all those who had on any occasion, whether real or imagined, wilfully disobeyed any law- ful order or whim of any Shellback; those who had at any time or place made derogatory remarks about the Royal Person, or in any manrer sions upon the Queen, the Princess, « jya The Court, being just, these slimy oi ' ender- ,ii given without exception what might Le l. fe works. Then came the less obnoxious offenders, and then that great army of those slimy creatures who shared the unspeakable joint crime of being Polliwogs — even worse than that, polliwogs. Pouring these into the hopper ' • great batches the wheels of justice ground relentle? on — the Court upholding throughout the day its proud boast that it had never lost a case, the Royal Barber and the Royal Bears all having fun — quantities of it. It was not until the middle of the afternoon that all landlubbers had received their just desserts, and had been formally initiated into the Mysteries of the Royal and Ancient Order of the Deep. So far as could oe ascertained without actually committing mayhem, not a single slimy Polliwog remained at large on the ship. All had been tracked down and transfor.ied in the space of a single day into salty, swaggering Shellbacks. After all hands had taken what steps tlit, deemed necessary to de-grease and de-tar ( high-test gasoline is not. recommended) and had regained some measure of their former dignity, all sat down to a specie nner in honor of His Royal Highness. Havin his rolls some 900 names. His Majesty was leased with the day ' s work and was seen to eat a i. .ty meal. After all available viands had jjeen disposed of, Neptlnus Rex bade all hands a fond farewell. Then we all embraced the Princess in par ' his Impe- rial and Highly Exalted Majesty rei to his home in the briny deep. And as he went over th e there rang in his ears the hunting refrain of the n,;w Shell- back. Note jiisl let me get mv hands on a . ■ ' Polli- ivog . . . than irhich there is nothing slimier. Page Tuenly-five
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Page 28 text:
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Crossing the Line TUF. afternoon of November 18, 1943, the U.S.S. (lASCADK . . . plowing the seas toward one of the thousands of atolls that dot the ocean below the Kquator and west of the Date Line . . . picked up on the radar two for eign objects thought to be un- friendly. A short lime later, the forward l((i)kout made out two objects which looked for all the world like men approaching the ship. When the quartermaster trained the spyglass on them they were discovered to be none other than Davy Jones, Scribe of His Majesty Nki ' - TUNUS K .X. and his lru tv pal. Peg Leg. It is pKiiiabIc that if the ship ' s latitude at that moment liad been considered the identity of these visitors would have at oner ' ue to mind. A .ig ttilliiii li;iiling (listaiicc. Davy was hearc I mil Wliai -hip ' . ' ' and when the word was mega . Honed i)a( k llial it was the U.S.S. CASCADK, he immediately countered with, By what authority of powers above or powers below does this hip sail within the realm i ' niperial Majesty? This last 1. (I Minic tall explaining and (laplain Ogdei- ■ better to wail until Davy and I ' eg Leg bad made their appearance on deck via the hawse pipe befor ■ :ying. Our Skipper then gave our ini-sion a- being lUt of a strictly lirst-class ship IkiuikI lor llic war zone. Knowing the wisdom that lay in keeping in the good graces of his visitors, he added he had hoped to have the pleasure of meeting Davy and his sovereign Neptunl ' S Re. , and that he had on hoard a large and slimy mess of landlubbers, including him- self, the Executive Officer, and more than .SO per cent of bis oiricer . Daw Jones forthwith issued a summons for the appearance of the vile slime on the morrow, and at the same lime he admonished all loyal Shellbacks to be prepared to welcome their Ruler. He was just bid- ding goodbye to the (Captain and preparing to return to the Royal (lourt when a slimy polliwog got com- pletelv out of hand and dashed up to Davy Jones to announce himself a being Kiijiis Jones, and to say that he was undoubtedly a distant cousin of Davy ' s and he felt certain that automaticallv made him a member of the Ancient Order of the Deep. To sav thai llii- nvcrlurc made an unfavorable im- pression upon Daw Jones is putting it mildl . He immediately ordered that this obstreperous being sliouKI be placed in irons to await the coming of His Maje t who. he predicted, would deal with bin) in a proper fashion. Our (lourt will be a jml court. .said he. and vou can expect jiisl as much as you deserve. ' illi ibal l)a N and I ' c l.c:; lid ilown the b.iu c I ' nfif T n rill • - jour
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