Caruthers Union High School - La Puerta Yearbook (Caruthers, CA)

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Little Brown Jug Moonlight Serenade This Ole House A Man Chases A Girl On the First Warm Day r Black Smith Blues Let Me Go Lover How Important Can it be Meet Mr. Calaghan This is my Confession I:i The Mood ... and power,

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of strenstli ... s R. P R P H E SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY By Bill Caddell As I sat back in my easy chair to relax, after a long day at the Inter-Planetary Newspaper office, my eyes glanced about the room and focused on the 1955 La Puerta, I eased myself up and walked over to the shelf where the annual was. I closed my eyes and opened it. The pages before me contained the senior pictures. It had been ten years now since we had graduated from our dear old Alma Mater, Since my vacation was only three days away I decided to look each one of my classmates up. I asked Dale Blagg, chief cartoonist on the Inter- Planetary newspaper, if he would like to join me in the venture. We made the necessary arrangements and departed in our jet-o-mobil to the nearest city on our planet. We were sailing along about two hundred miles an hour, when a bleak form took shape on our radar screen. As the picture cleared, none other than the image of Adrian Acosta was before our eyes. Adrian was tending his flock of Marstein cows. Yep! You guessed it. They give milk in every color imaginable. We coasted by a schoolhouse and saw Beverly Atchley busily teaching mental hygiene to her first grade stu- dents. We neared our destination and applied the automatic landing gear. We were pretty dry after our long drive so we decided to quench our thirst at the nearest malt shop. We ordered a double round of fission floats topped with cobolt dust. Our order was filled, nnuch to our pleasure, by Virginia Eggert, who had decided to be a waitress. She had hired Arlene Mann to sit with her ten children since her husband had been sent on a mission to Pluto. We departed from the malt shop and headed for the nearest hotel to register for the week. We were star- tled when Niels Hansen answered the bell at the clerks desk. He had given up hunting jackrabbits on the moon and retired to the hotel business. That evening we joined the other guests in the lobby and saw our old stand- bys. Art Kizer and Jannes Hemman, They had taken tinne out from their cattle ranching in Texas to visit Robert Dustin at his world famous casino, The Golden Raider . We retired early and relaxed comfortably on the airflex beds manufactured by Elvin Benson ' s Universal Bed and Mattress Company. Early the next morning we arose and rang for room service and were surprised when Carol Watts brought up the specialty of the house: Radiated Martian Turtle eggs and toasted pheasant fronn Uranus. vVe glanced along the names in the telephone books and got the addresses of nnany of our for- mer classnnates. We watched the early morning television show featuring Joe Belt, David Hawley, and their Moonbeam mad men. James Langley was playing the same old sax he toyed with at Caruthers High. We shut off the television and once again took to our jet-o-mobil for a pleasure trip about the city. We noticed a billboard advertising Calvin Bunn ' s dude ranch in Death Valley. vVe came upon Kenneth Ehoff and Gerald Sorensen selling newspaper-; on the street corner. It seenns that their flytrap invention was a flop because Stanley Silva had produced aton ized flies which seenned to flourish on the material used in their traps, V e noticed that Martian Honeymoon was playing at the local theater. Bubbles Quist and LaVerne Puckett had top billing with James Weaver and Fred Sellers playing the roles of the grooms. Gordon Richards was staging an opera across the street at his fannous night club. He took Liberace ' s place after the latter had taken up Uranium prospecting with Paul Replogle. As his top performers he had Joe Parker and Janet Sinclair, the travelling troubadours. It seems that they had fornned the team to make extra nnoney to pay for Joe ' s new strato-steanner. We returned to our hotel and relaxed by watching the wrestling matches. The main event featured Pudgeett Hull and that muscular beauty from Caruthers, Juanita Glass, The weight and bulk of her opponent was too much for Juanita to handle as she I ' -st in two falls. The next event featured mad- men Glen Quails and Bob Silveira against those two rough and ready gals from Arkansas, Joyce Weaver andAmy Swetnam, The gals won it with a series of Flying tackles and head butts. The next progrann was brought to us by Regal Pale beer. Jack Nard Ferguson told us all about the Regal Bird during intermission. The show featured the colorful antics of the world famous Globetrotters, Fred Goose Dixon amazed us with his fancy footwork, dribbling, and shooting. In an interview with Ed Saling we found out that he had been managing that old Caruthers flash, Joe Ortiz, Joe had just finished second to Austin Johnson in the Olympic decathlon. We stayed near the TV set because the Universe Follies were to follow. As the girls danced out on the stage, who else was wearing the frills and feathers than Nellie McNelly, Carol Quandt, Jessie Masterson, and Mabel Mitchell. That was too much for us so we decided to hit the hay, vVe had planned on attending the weight lift- ing channpionships the following day at the Caruthers Cow Palace, Carol McCord won the lightweight crown when she lifted two hundred pounds above her head for a total of twenty times. She told us she had been train- ing with Moose Reynolds and The Great Yvonne Johnson, She pointed out that they had stayed in shape by eating Nina Kelsos Plutoplasm Pills which contained not only iron but the ore it came from. As an added attraction Pat Estes and JoNell Cox put on an exhibition act of witch-craft they had learned at Caruthers Hi under the direction of Mr, Winocoor, We were about to overlook Marjorie Crawford but her nine children caught our eye as we toured the sights along Raider Avenue, It seems that they were challenging Euphama Jackson ' s children in a game of baseball although they were outnumbered two to one. We left the city for a tour of Harlond Lang ' s cotton plantation. Who else was picking the fluffy white stuff than the cotton picking champion of the universe, that Arkansas Traveler, Juanema Goss, We journeyed on and came upon Jim Glasgow standing on the middle lane of the highway. Just across the road stood his ancient model T, I should say, lay his ancient model T, It seems that he collided with a wind current caused by the exhaust of Howard Lewis ' s streannlined jet-o-cruiser. We called wreckers on our inter- planetary telephone and took Jim on into town. We dropped him off at his home and proceeded to Fujita ' s Suey Shop for a taste of her universe famed noodles. We saw Norma Hagan washing dishes in the shop and found out that her six children had been named after the teachers that she had in her senior year at Caruthers. We asked her about Ward Hastings and found out that he was a missionary in Egypt, We bid farewell to Norma and Lorraine and headed down town once again. We noticed Ben Mealer ' s name on a psychiatrist ' s shingle. We stopped to talk to him but he had two patients. One was Coach Constantine who suffered a nervous breakdown because of his twenty grand-children, Mr, Fletcher, since 1955, was in for his annual checkup. We started for the hotel but remennbered that we had omitted Pearly Bryson and Elaine Uzell fronn our list. Pearly had taken a job writing the obituary column for the Mars Gazette, Last but not least we visited Uzell ' s Do Drop In funeral parlor, Elaine advised us that business had been dead. Logical, huh! Well our list was complete and we headed back to the hotel pack. By the way, I ' m Bill Caddell, editor and assistant copy boy of the Interplanetary Newspaper,

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For we are ... J 11 II I R S .u President Kirby Hansen i o t W jfc d ' -©- Jp Jri B| r 1 ' Treasurer S. C. R. Alberta CaddeU Mary Ray 1 .a ' ' ' . Secretary Ina Edlund Vice President Bart Crimm ,N ' ■-i Yell Leader Ruby Lay Sergeant at Arms Bill East FRONT ROW: J. Koontz, R.Leavelle, N. Moore, R. Lay, M. Nix, J. Percy, C. Crowder SECOND ROW: J. Silveria, G. Williams, A. Caddell, B. Osterhoudt, S. Estes, L. Lugo THIRD ROW: S. Bartlett, D. Condit, M.Glasgow, B. Jones, E. Moser, L. Henderson, J. Crittenden FOURTH ROW: R. Elwell, D. Barber, K. Hansen, J. Johnston, L. Wallace, C. Miguel, A. Riley. 20