Carnegie Mellon University - Thistle Yearbook (Pittsburgh, PA)

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THE MAKING OF “1909” Noth: The following is an extract from a paper read by Mr. J. Kemp Browne before the American Institute of Will-be Engineers at their last annual meeting. Mr. Chair fiKin and G antic men:—In preparing this paper I have endeavored to present a scientific explanation of the treatment and processes through which the material we are considering is passed in the course of being made into a marketable product. ()n some points in the process I am forced to be rather indefinite as secret processes are involved and no one seems to understand the reason for their use. We will first consider the raw material and then trace it through to its present stage of being bulled and made ready for shipment. The main consignment of raw material arrived at the plant from various sources on September 19, 1906. The preliminary treatment is one of crushing, classification and refining. Considerable difficulty was experienced in preventing congestion and contamination from the old material in stock but under the guidance of Mr. Pete Adams this was avoided. For convenience in handling, the material was divided into eight sections and sent directly into the refining department. Here it went through a series of lectures, where it was metamorphosed, evolved, and after having been made into the nebular state, was given the “right of contract. The treatment after it left the refining department was preliminary to the first classification which took place in June. Among these may be mentioned the Strength of Materials and “Personality” treatments. The object of the first mentioned is to ascertain the resistance of the material to such action as Stress-strain diagrams and a complete cycle of jokes. In the Personality vat. the object sought is to imbue the young, responsive and undeveloped mind with a full appreciation of the value of magnetism, personal and otherwise. The bath used in this vat, as near as the author could ascertain, was of the following composition: Resistance. 51.1 '• Force of Character, 40; Lines of Force, 7.2; Watts, 1.7 When the material was placed in this vat, considerable difficulty was experienced because of the fact that some of the material had previously received a positive charge. 29

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SENIOR CLASS KI GKNi: DOWLING. President Vice-President Secretary Treasurer Historian Eugeni-: Dowling. Walter E. Close. Marshall R. Walton. David W. Patterson. William C. Chancellor.

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At about this time it was decided that “1909” should assemble at Hotel Lincoln to test the culinary abilities of that establishment. This was bitterly opposed by “1908 ’ but their efforts were of no avail, as Mr. Exline, president of the class, and other officers and speakers, successfully declined the invitation of some of the members of 1908” to an automobile ride in the park on the night of the banquet. In the latter part of December, 1906, and in the spring of 1907, all the material was passed through the painful process of concentration. The material was assembled in the Concentrating Department and exposed for several hours each day to the crushing effect of examinations. This method of concentration has been in use by similar plants for some time, but there is considerable discussion regarding its merits as compared to other more modern methods. It has the effect of reducing the material to a state of nervous exhaustion and in this condition it does not make the best showing. After this treatment it was found that a fair percentage of material was ready for the main division into Civil, Mechanical, Electrical, and Metallurgical and Chemical departments. In September, 1907, these departments began operation. In the Mechanical department the material received a treatment of superheated steam, which enabled it to observe lines where they were not and to become entangled in complicated gears. The material sent to the Civil department was first subjected to a grinding “yust so fine,” then allowed to “set,” and afterwards tested by the Hokanson method for determining the amount of knowledge absorbed. From here it was sent to the Structural department where any soul left in it was removed and killed and the soulless material was bolstered up with struts, plate-girders and I-beams. The consignment to the Electrical department was first run through the ohm-sifter to remove the shiftless from the wattless material. Next, in order to guard against the epidemic of hysteresis, the power factor was employed. After this the material was ready to be saturated with electrical knowledge as shown by the saturation curves sent out from the registrar's office. The Metallurgical and Chemical material was first dissolved and then treated with Physical Chemistry and the Cryohydric Point determined. After this it was crystalized into the isometric system, then re-dissolved, and in the Spring of 1908 Chemists were precipitated from the Metallurgists. The former was then prepared according to the most modern methods, using 1 10 Benzoate of Soda. The latter material was first assayed and then classified as ferrous and non-ferrous. The various methods of leaching and smelting were employed from time to time to extract the knowledge content and gave a fair recovery, especially when considerable reference reading was included in the charge. Besides the regular routine, as outlined above, may be mentioned the function known as the “Junior Prom” on February 28, 1908, and previous to this, on November 12, there was some difficulty caused by the attempt of some of the raw material of “1910” shipment to hold a banquet. Owing, however, to the perfect 30