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Page 25 text:
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1 g-..LL,..,gg,g,gi,llc, E QHLQ-. -ml First, we decided to take in a Shakespearean play, and 'set out for the theatre. We thought that we recognized the leading man, and upon looking in the program we saw the name Charles F. Gibson, F for Flash, of course. Next we went to the first night at the opera. Whose name was it that we saw flashing in the bright lights as the singing star? Why, none other than Agnes Horgan, of course. Tihen we entered and took our seats near the front of the hall. As the overture opened the program and the leader of the orchestra struck up the fmusic, we were astonished to see Monsieur Jacques Rowe leading the music, who was none other than Jimmy Rowe. All the orchestra had stopped, but we noticed the two trumpet players continued to blow furiously. On looking closer we no- ticed that the players were Charlie Dudley and Windy Winslow, whose rivalry had reached its peak, and each was trying to outblow the other. We, of course, were disgusted and left the performance. Having for- gotten something we called our hotel. As we called, the operator said, in- stead of the usual, Number, please! Yes, dear. Something was famili- ar about that voice. Now, we remem- ber, it must be Hilda Wood, that dear little girl of our class. On the next day we visited a radio studio to sit in on a few programs. When we entered the studio, a pro- gram was already in progress. We heard all sorts of noises, and turning around, we saw the sound effects man, none other than Fred Plant. Then the program finished and the announcer came up to the microphone to announce the following program. In booming, basso tones came the an- nouncement, 'The following enter- tainment will be provided for you by Adelaide Ulman, concert pianist. As the announcer came out from behind the microphone, he was our old pal, silent Tom McDonnell. Being determined to take in every- thing, we set out for a burlesque show. As we entered, the first act was making its appearance, and who did we see but those three queens of burlesque, Eva Chops, Helen Carlson, and Barbara MacLeod. After the performance was over, we left for our hotel to wait for the departure of the boat. As we came to the harbor, the fleet, which was at that time anchored in the harbor, fired off the cannons. First, we saw part of the Statue of Liberty blown off, and then a piece of the Empire State Building. Later, we learned that Angus Mackiernan was chief gunner's mate, and that when he heard we were sailing, fired a twenty-one gun salute, but hebfor- got and used real cannon balls. ' When we boarded ship, we found that Oscar Stone was our genialcap- tain. We then decided to send a message back to America after we were a few days upon the sea. En- tering the radio operator's room, we discovered that our old friend, Don- ald Colsen, was the radio operator, continuing with radio work which he had liked so well in his high school days. The lunches on board were served by Elsie Estey, who was the chief cook and bottle washer, and she had as her able assistants, Bernard- ine McAteer, Marion Tordoff, and Marjorie Southworth. So we continued on our way, fin- ally arriving at London, England, where we had two days to spend be- fore continuing on our journey. First, we entered a cabaret and we saw two cigarette girls who looked vaguely familiar. Then we.-recog- nized them as Betty Jones and Her- tha Schmieder. While in England we also met Mabel Baldwin, who 'told us she had become a fashion expert. Of course, Mabel always had a good deal of knowledge concerning the subject of women's clothes. We also met another classmate of ours in England, none other than the one and only, or is it two and only, Dot' Ayl- ward. She told us she had intended becoming a fan dancer, but that the world had run out of feathers in try- ing to make a fan large enough for Dot. F' Our time was up, so we went to our boat, but by mistake we took a' b-oat
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Page 24 text:
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Zire., . r,rrrHi1i-.ElrC-,EEO ,. is err Y a jeep, Perhaps you do not know what a jeep is. Well, a jeep'l is an animal who-se power lies in his tail. I found the jeep and return- ed. The man who offered me the position and I used the power of the jeep to win money on horse races. We both became millionaires and fin- ally I returned to America with money to burn, and whom should I meet on my return to this country but my old pal, Shauno. I learned that he had graduated from college and his father had given him a trip around the world as a graduation present. Having nothing else to do in my spare time, I decided to ac- company him. We went to our respective homes and packed our belongings. Having only a few minutes to catch a train, we called for a taxi. What should we see but a taxi with the driver singing loud an-d lustily with an ac- cent which sounded like that of a slightly intoxicated person. With the grinding of brakes the cab pulled up, and the driver was none other than our old friend, Johnny Cleve- land. He told us that he had tried everything but finally had to take up cab driving. So onward to Canton Junction! As we turned under the viaduct stretched across the road was a large sign, reading, Ye Olde Coffee House. Of course, we knew that the operator of such an establish- ment could be none other than Mild- red Kelliher. . So we signaled our taxi driver to pullover. . As we neared the entrance we heard a conversation within. Therefore, we decided to listen a while before entering. Coming from within. was a voice saying, Gee, Millie, I've asked you to marry me every day for the last four years and you still refuse. What'll I -do now '? We peeked in the window and on his bended knee we saw our old friend, Eddie Dockray. Deciding that where such tender words were being spoken was no place for us, we de- parted for the Canton Junction ter- minal. We rushed up to the window to buy the tickets and were surprised to see the ticket agent put the change in his pocket. H-m-m-m-ml Why, hello, of course, we should have known it was Billy Kelleher. Then we heard the train puffing into the station, and standing very calm- ly at the throttle was Joe Kessler. As the fireman looked up from his coal-heaving we discovered George Gibson, but we were not greatly sur- prised, as George was good at using the shovel even in his high school days. When we arrived at the South Sta- tion, we went to the barber shop where Harvey Robins-on was the smiling barber. He told us he learn- ed the trade from a well-known Can- ton barber and had been trimming people ever since. After having our nails manicured by Eleanor Butke- vitch, we hopped aboard a bus which took us to the East Boston airport. As the bus got under way, we heard a lady in the rear of the bus talking loudly, and there was Mary O'Hare sitting with Nelson Canniff. We learned they had married because Mary could talk all she wanted to, and Nelson couldn't hear her. Finally we arrived at the airport, where the plane which we were tak- ing for New York was waiting. As we entered the plane, we heard a loud voice somewhat like the sound of a saw buzzing. We turned around and saw a man snoring loudly. Then we asked the pilot who the gentleman was, and as he turned around we recognized Bud,' Reed, who had been piloting the plane for four years. He told us that the sleeping gentleman was Roger Hinds, who had been in a state of slumber for four years, and was on his way to breaking Rip Van Winkle's record. Then he told us that our stewardess would be Martha Malcolmson, who had received that position a few weeks before. We left for New York and reached our des- tination without any further occur- rences. Upon our arrival in New York we found that we had a few days to our- selves and decided to take in as many of the places as we were able.
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Page 26 text:
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1 1 . Q6 or Town A .cl H E ETC HQ.. -..gEg-..--.-.g- for Turkey. As we arrived in Tur- key, we saw a group of tents with a large tent in the center. A sign on the large tent read Shiek J ere Miah. We thought we'd visit this shiek, and his harem. Whom should we see when we entere-d but Jerry Kelleher, who said he had tired of the same girl, and opened up a harem so that he could change whenever he wished. He told us that Edna Gibson was his efficiency expert who took care of choosing the girls for his harem. Among the girls in his harem were Ione Wile, who was his Sunday girl, Edith Bowers, Charlotte Briggs, Elizabeth Simons and Mary Irving. We had intended to visit Italy, so we left Jerry to his own troubles, and departed on the next boat for Italy. As we were walking down the street, we bumped into Tom Finn, who told us that he was in an undertaking establishment, and that business was great since Vink Lutkus and Paul Rogers had started a gang war over a dispute as to who was Public En- emy No. 1. Thinking this would be a good place for some of the old gang, we asked Tom if any of our classmates were there. Boy, you could have knocked us over with a feather when we heard that Mary Queenan and Helen Copley were the chief gun molls of the respective gangs. Then we visited Lutkus, for de- spite the fact that he was a gangster we wanted to see our pal. We've seen some cold-blooded things in our day, but when we saw Lutkus shoot Harry Noddell who was practicing the drufms, thinking it was a machine gun, we knew it was time to leave. Immediately we were captured by Rogers, who thought we were in lea- gue with Lutkus. We were saved quite unexpectedly by the dictator of Italy, and were we surprised when we discovered that Peter Berteletti had overthrown the Mussolini regime and became dictator. Having had such a narrow escape in Italy, we decided to leave for the land of the free, even if we weren't of the brave. As we boarded the ship, we saw a large crowd gathered about two young ladies who were speaking. We found out that it was a revival meeting and that the two preachers were Estelle Kaufman and Charlotte Spintig. This greatly sur- prised us. Of course, Mike may have been somewhat like Mae West in Klondike Annie, but neverthe- less she was sincere in her efforts. Finally, arriving home, we bought a newspaper and discovered that Hugh Duffy's long-standing batting mark of .438 had been broken by Sammy Swardlick, Red Sox short- stop, who batted 456. These were the official averages printed in a January newspaper. We also read that Baron Karl von Schmieder con- tinued to baffle the scientific world with his amazing stories. The next evening we attended the hockey game and discovered that Wall Hallett was playing right de- fense for the Boston Bruins. Sud- denly we saw a lady in one of the front boxes call to Hallett, and there seemed to be a heated discussion go- ing on between the two. We later learned that the lady was Eleanor Mullin, who had become the first woman hockey manager in the his- tory of the game. In closing, we would like to say, although we think we have included everybody, in case you weren't in- cluded, be satisfied anyway, because you probably wouldn't like what we said about you. James Stevenson John Collins
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