Calgary General Hospital - In Cap and Uniform Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

Page 56 text:

54 IN CAP AND UNIFORM QUIZZICAL QUERIES Has the car gone up yet? Will you give me a puli with this mattress? Have you got a stamp? Who’s got the key? Does anybody know anything about the sterilizer? Is the milk can full? Is all the cleaning done? Are the trays set up? Is that anaesthetic bed made yet? Have you a clean draw-sheet? Are you p.-m.-ing? What time are you off? Are the trays all in? Has anybody seen the clothes-book? JUST IMAGINE ! ! Blair making 20% in an anatomy quiz. Remackel serious. Bothwell without a telephone call. Deyell sleeping in. Murray in a violent temper. Newberry without her compact. Pierce with no corns. McLeod excited. Finnell kicking up a racket. Laing wearing a bathrobe. Olsen with her radio turned off before 10 p.m. Milnes wearing Rosie’s apron. Demetrovits standing on a step-ladder to reach the top shelf.

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IN CAP AND UNIFORM 53 HOSPITAL—continued Into irons for indiscipline If the doctor walked in And found the patient unwashed— His pillows crumpled and squashed; His hair not tidy and sleek. And the flush of sleep on his cheek. It is hospital etiquette That whoever else gets in a sweat The doctor must not be upset. (So it ' s no use groanin’ Or writing to A. J. Cronin). But hospital is grand; It has an air, if you understand, Not simply of disinfectant, But of something gay and expectant— As though any moment a queen Might appear on the scene. You feel that you ought (somehow) To rise from your bed and bow, When each morning at ten precisely Matron sails in and informs you, you’re getting on nicely”— Even on days, you recall, When you seemed to be getting nowhere at all. But if they say you’re O.K., When you’re feeling B.A., You’re O.K. And besides, they get terribly hurt If you lie there just dumb and inert; They think you’re a humorless bloke, Who can’t enter into a joke. For of course you’re a bles sed disgrace; You ought to be out of the place, Making way for a really bad case. Yes, hospital is fine! I’d a bit of quiet fun in mine. I worship Florence Nightingale, And think her life complete, But oftentimes I wonder If she suffered aching feet.

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IN CAP AND UNIFORM 55 every SMART nurse . . . . knows the importance of well-fitting hosiery and under- things throughout long hours of duty. For stylish pretties that look more than the price you pay for them, visit the Belgium shop. WHITE STOCKINGS . . . GOOD-LOOKING DOUBLE DUTY QUALITY NEW DAINTY SLIPS and UNDERTHINGS FOR OFF-DUTY . . . NEW SUMMER HOSIERY, GLOVES, BLOUSES, SKIRTS, DRESSING GOWNS, BEACHWEAR PULLOVERS, PLAYSUITS and SLACKS. urn Western Limited 328 EIGHTH AVENUE WEST, CALGARY A DOCTOR’S MISTAKE Young Doctor:—“I’m afraid I made a mistake in filling out a death certificate today.” Senior Doctor:—“How was that?” Young Doctor:—“I absent-mindedly signed my name in the space left for ‘cause of death’.” OVERHEARD IN THE CHILDREN’S WARD Two small patients were talking—an old-timer in the ward, and a fairly recent arrival. Said the old-timer: “Are you medical or surgical.” The other shook his head. “Dunno what you mean!” he pro¬ tested. The first little boy looked scornful. He knew about hospitals. “Was you bad when you came?” he demanded, “or did they make you bad after you got here?” SIGN ON A NURSE’S DOOR If I’m studying when you come in, please wake me up.