Calgary General Hospital - In Cap and Uniform Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

Page 54 text:

52 IN CAP AND UNIFORM ' HOSPITAL Hospital is a grand spot— Assuming of course you have got To the stage known as convalescent And allowed chicken (or pheasant) Which tastes like chicken (or pheasant) And not like cardboard suspiciously flavored With the anaesthetic that doctors favored; Assuming also the three or possibly four Cigarettes permitted per diem, smell more Like tobacco and less like an act Of incendiarism, or hay incautiously stacked. Even though the old “wagon” is hitched To a scar, it’s good when you’ve been “unstitched” To lie in bed in your ward And observe how you’re loved and adored By your friends and relations. (Even Aunt Jane, whose prognostications Concerning your future career are not very rosy, Has sent you a “get-well” posy). Flowers and fruit greet you from every table, You might be a stricken Tracy, a sick Clark Gable. Oh, hospital is swell! Though, mind you, it’s just as well To obey the rules, and employ a measure of stealth In pursuit of your wants; and you musn’t speak of your health Or keep ringing your bell all day If you mean to enjoy your stay. At first it may seem a bit daft That they wake you up to give you your sleeping draught, Or at nothing a.m., just as the early bird hastens To snap up the worm, they come along with their basins And insist on washing you, whether you’ve had A good night’s rest or a bad. But orders are orders; or else the whole show would go pop; Does not General Routine rank higher than Major Op? So you’ve got to be washed, dead or alive, And all groomed up before the doctors arrive. Sister would be uncapped And nurse probably clapped

Page 53 text:

5th Row—I). McLeod, J. Cowan, K. Newbery, M. King, W. Gray. M. Martin. 4th Row—R. Demetrovits, M. O’Neil, J. Howatson. R. Gremm, 1). Pearson, G. Laing, A. Tomlinson. 3rd Row—C. Hicks, H. Hood, H. Gray, M. Bothwell, V. Blair, I. Olson, V. Remackel, B. Murray. 2nd Row—M. Sisson, E. Miller, S. MacKay, A. Finell, N. McPherson, C. Doull, M. Reed, M. Deyell. 1st Row—E. Simpson, M. Milnes, H. Pierce, V. Ridgway, D. Freeman, A. Freebairn, M. Box, M. Inne§.

Page 55 text:

IN CAP AND UNIFORM 53 HOSPITAL—continued Into irons for indiscipline If the doctor walked in And found the patient unwashed— His pillows crumpled and squashed; His hair not tidy and sleek. And the flush of sleep on his cheek. It is hospital etiquette That whoever else gets in a sweat The doctor must not be upset. (So it ' s no use groanin’ Or writing to A. J. Cronin). But hospital is grand; It has an air, if you understand, Not simply of disinfectant, But of something gay and expectant— As though any moment a queen Might appear on the scene. You feel that you ought (somehow) To rise from your bed and bow, When each morning at ten precisely Matron sails in and informs you, you’re getting on nicely”— Even on days, you recall, When you seemed to be getting nowhere at all. But if they say you’re O.K., When you’re feeling B.A., You’re O.K. And besides, they get terribly hurt If you lie there just dumb and inert; They think you’re a humorless bloke, Who can’t enter into a joke. For of course you’re a bles sed disgrace; You ought to be out of the place, Making way for a really bad case. Yes, hospital is fine! I’d a bit of quiet fun in mine. I worship Florence Nightingale, And think her life complete, But oftentimes I wonder If she suffered aching feet.