Calgary General Hospital - In Cap and Uniform Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

Page 31 text:

IN CAP AND UNIFORM 29 THE DIET KITCHEN—continued For I ' m at the final stage Where I am told to make (By methods unfamiliar) A dainty angel cake. Six weeks are up and out I go, This can I truly say, A worse cook never sallied forth From the C.G.FI.—D.K. —FRANCES LANGLEY. THERE ' S AN ART IN CLOSING DOORS An article which appeared on the door of two of our recent graduates and which they wish to pass on to others who have the same complaint: “I find folk who don’t shut doors a bit annoying. When they enter a room you say, “Will you shut the door?” The usual reply is, “I’m just going out again.” Out they go, leaving the door open, and to your repeated request they answer, “I’ll be back in a minute.” Very few people are accomplished in the art of opening and shutting doors. So many seem to fly at the handle and joggle it about and then bang the door. It is possible to open and shut a door with practically no noise whatever and only a little practise is necessary to add this refine¬ ment to the life of the home.

Page 30 text:

28 IN CAP AND UNIFORM THE DIET KITCHEN It’s the hardest thing I ever tried, This learning how to cook. When you ask, “How do you make it?’’ They say, “You’ll find it in the book.” At first the place amazes one, It hums so busily, And everyone knows how to cook, That is—everyone but me. There’s a smell of something burning, Senior yells, “Hey, watch your toast.” “I never burnt a single piece I hear one lad} - boast. “Don’t dare open that oven door,” Someone shrieks above the dim, “That cake will sure be ruined. For it’s just now been put in.” Thank heaven for the doctors On whom the blame I lay For the awful diet I prepare For the patients every day. Then the Diabetic menus Cause me much mental strain; All portions are so strictly weighed And the dessert is awfully plain. Just so much carbohydrate, Just so much protein and fat. “Oh you dumbell,” some one shrieks, “You can’t give a diabetic THAT!” On and on it goes, until I think I’m going mad, For now I am the Senior And things are twice as bad.

Page 32 text:

30 ' IN CAP AND UNIFORM IF If you can crack a joke when all about you Are so fed up they don’t know what to do; If you can come on duty and be cheerful When you are feeling on the verge of ’flu; If you can live the whole day through without a ward-maid. Admissions pouring in and dinners late; If you can comb and scrub them all and like it, And come off smiling when it’s half-past eight; If you can think the Head Nurse really loves you, And only runs you round for your own good, When she says the bathroom is disgraceful, And your “hoppers” never look the way they should; If you can scrub out everlasting lockers Till your knees are red with kneeling on the floor. And still believe yours is a noble calling, And never long to be at home once more; If you can stay the whole day through and never grumble, Nor only seem to wash and polish paint; If you can do all this and keep your reason— Your not a nurse, my girl, you’re just a Saint. —Adapted. WIT and HUMOUR Bill, investigating the cause of the broken window in Maternity. Measuring the sash he entered the details in his notebook and passed through the hall. “Good heavens!” he cried, “This is worse than I expected. It’s broken on both sides.” Dr. Christie (during medical inspection): “You must avoid all forms of excitement.” Wilf: “But can’t I even look at them in the street.” Hunter—“We’re going to give Murdena a shower.” McKeague—“Count me in, I’ll bring the soap.” Ogilvie to Farnsworth—“If you took a bronchoscope and looked in a dog’s lungs, what would you see?” Farnsworth—“Air I suppose.” Ogilvie—“No, you’d see the seat of his pants.”