Byron Area High School - By Hi Yearbook (Byron, IL)

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Class Prophecy Betty McCormick, head of the McCormick Candy Corporation says, Come in and look over my wide selection of sweets. Miss McCormick specializes in sugarless fudge, one-way stretch taffy, and double-blow bubble gum. Bill Mullen, general manager of the Waybelow Standard Oil Company, has announced the opening of a new chain of gas stations. Says Mullen, “You won't have to go as far now to get gassed. Richard Myers, noted naturalist and fisherman, recently returned from an extended ex- pedition up Sprecker's Creek. His catch included a fine specimen of the Carp, Minnow, and Bullhead. Ramona Nelson, proprietor of the Hock and Swap Shop, is announcing her new assort- ment of devices for odd people and little cogs for big wheels. Buck Saddlesore, well known cowboy of the movies who is Dick Palmer in private life, has reported the theft of his horse Archibald from the stable. Archibald is valued at $10,- 000. The newly completed Potter’s Gymnasium will open sometime in the next ten years. Shirley Potter, proprietor, says that they will build straighter frames for sad sacks. Potter's motto is We'll get your bustle ready for a tussle. Senator Riley is doubtful of his re-election to the Senate from this area. His explanation for this way of thinking is that he lost valuable campaigning time while spending the tax- payer's money on a vacation in Buzzard Tail, Arizona. Gwen Stebner, waitress in Gerties Golden Griddle, was indicted for voluntary man- slaughter this week. This action was prompted after she scalded a patron by spilling hot soup down his neck. Senor Joseph Vogel has uncovered the ruins of the lost Spanish city in Central Amer- ica. It is the second such time that Senor Vogel has been the vital factor in the search for Spanish ruins. World known pool champion, Jerry Weaver, has announced the opening date of Luke's Pool Emporium for Loafers. Luke invites everyone to come in and grab a cue. He has 90 new pool tables with automatic pop-up pockets. Ten tables are set aside for slop pool players. Bob Weber, well known taxidermist, has opened an undertaking parlor and personal ad- vice bureau. When asked for comment Mr. Weber said, If business gets too dead, we will have to close down; but at the present time if you feel things are going bad, come to us and we will do our best to straighten you out. Dixie Whetsel has announced her retirement after twenty-seven years as lineman on the Paynes Point Telephone Company. She gained distinction of being the only woman pole climber to be stranded on top of a pole five times. Her reason for retirement was that she couldn't stand high altitudes. — 16 —

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Class Prophecy From the great unknown the Class ol 50 was able to secure an issue of the Byron Tribune for the week of June 2, 1975. Below are a few of the interesting news items: Bonnie Campbell, well known botanist, has revealed her plans for retiring. Miss Camp- bell won her fame by developing three different kinds of skunk cabbage and an artificial hormone to make thistles come into bloom three weeks early. Loretta Bruiser Cassell has announced her retirement from the ring after holding the Women's Heavyweight Wrestling title for nine years. Jesse Copeland has released the discovery of a new cobless popcorn. This small con- tribution alone will save the popcorn industry millions. Copeland netted $1.33 from the deal. Cecil Dillow, a graduate of Byron High School, has signed a contract to play third base with the Chicago Bums of the Repulsive League. The reported yearly salary is $18.53, room and board. Having won her 100th straight game since starting her coaching career, Wanda Dillow, the amazing woman basketball coach, exclaimed, Gosh! Wilma Dillow, speech teacher at North Egan University, plans to enter six speakers in the annual contest with City College of Myrtle and Lightsville Tech. Genny Dirks has come up with a very interesting dance. It is called the Dirk Dance. It's composed of a slip, a stumble, and a twenty-five yard dash. It has been proven to be very exhilarating and effective. Dick Dove, star basketball player from Byron, is now playing for the Western Lambs- tail Rockets who are safely in last place in the league by forty-eight games. Marion Fransen, star of stage, screen, and radio, will appear in Byron next week for a performance. Miss Fransen’s latest picture is Dark Stain or Who Spilt the Gravy? Gene Sugar Throat Heidenreich was given a police escort home last night after thou- sands of spectators mobbed him for his smash performance in the musical, “La Chuckhole. Elwood Himes, owner of the Trans-Community Van Lines, Inc., has announced plans for broadening his route. His future route will be Myrtle, Egan, Lambstail, and Paynes Point. His motto is, We make antiques out of new furniture in one move. Virginia Hruska and her trained horse act have signed a contract with Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus. Says Miss Hruska, I've taught them everything I know. Marg Johnston, President of the Little Kiddies of America Society, will give a lecture this evening at the meeting of the Women's Club on The Care of Odds and Tender Ends. Jo Love, who is well known for her gossip column in the daily newspaper, has uncover- ed another romance. When asked about her source of information she replied, “Love is everywhere. — 15 —

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The Underclassmen CLASS OF 51 CLASS OF ”52 PRESIDENT LOIS BONTJES PRESIDENT WAYNE HAGAN VICE-PRESIDENT . LEONARD BROWN VICE-PRESIDENT SALLY WALKER SECRETARY MARLEEN HARRIS SECRETARY BARBARA WALLIN TREASURER DAN SMITH TREASURER MARY VANSTONE ADVISOR , MRS. GIBBS ADVISOR MR. QUARTON CLASS OF 53 PRESIDENT BOB SMITH VICE-PRESIDENT. f.'ARJEAN STUKENBERG SECRETARY JUDY GARNER TREASURER DONALD OLTMANNS ADVISOR MR. HASELTON — 17 — Ah, youth! forever dear, forever kind, —Alexander Pope