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Page 31 text:
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Name Alias Ailment Cure Known by How They Doom Got Thru Dilzer “Charlie” Silliness Hopeless Blue Suit Unknown Actor Van Riper “King” Baseball Sore Arm Left handedPlunged Mascot Backus “Ruth” Giggling Muzzle Laugh Who Steno- knows? grapher Vreeland “Blanch” Sophistica- Quarantine tion Looks Vamped Chorus Girl Freeland “Betty” Essays Sprained Wrist Bob Labored School marm Carlyon “Car” Laughing Muffled Eyes Hobbled Office boy Donald “Eve” Every whercMarriage Size Crawled Model Mills “Dot” Love Dudley Hair Ask Uncle Poetess Dudley Taylor “Dot” Harold Wedding bells Dimples Worked Boss Harold Gormley “Cy” Quiet Cyclone Strut Persevered Dictionary maker Davenport Jule” Cross WordDictionary Puzzles Silence ? Farmerette Potter “Ed” BashfulnessFollies That Walk Sympathy Designer of “Pull ’em Up Trou- sers” Edwards “Carl” Conceit Knockout Dignity Lucky Bachelor Chance Kinsey Uncle” Blushes Girls Pole like Plugged Composer Meier “El” Ticklish Forget Wiggle Smashed Hard Rub- ber Mill White Gert” Squealer Shoot her Voice Passed Maid Fleetwood “Red” Those Put ’em in Burke safe Summar- ies aAuburn locks Struggled Chemist Rome “Nice” Weight Football Generosity Crept Dressmaker Whitty “Dot” Coquettish- Toothache ness Confidence Towed thruHer geome- try teacher Mabey “Bill” Chewing Lock jaw gum Broadness Luck Dumbbell Yeomans “Al” Silence A smile Her hair Concen- Baby trated trainer Guenter “Allie” Fast typist Paralysis Good- nature Studied Steno- grapher Decker “Ruth” Meek High Life Height Swam House- keeper Willis “Edy” Dreaming T. N. T. Smile Hard Work Secretary Kayhart “Bess’ Study Bluff Dimples Fainted Nurse Struble “Owl-eye’ Length Fountain ofFeet Shortness We couldn’tCircus say freak Brinster “Jule” Kid Grow up Height Who cares?Frank’s wife Close “Ginny” Stanley Gold band Speed Waddled Hairdresser Rhinesmith “El” Complica- Eliminate tions Noise Sauntered Mormonism 27
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lanior 'Slams How They Name Alias Ailment Cure Known by Got Thru Doom Meeker “Mike” Talking Chloroform Skinniness Smiled Manager at Gormleys Pettenger Pet” Teachers More Nose Teachers Fooled the Prohibi- Teachers tionist Vreeland “Roge” Saxaphone Mumps Hair Cut Five years Zoo-keeper La Barre “Ed” Lazy Monkey Wavy hair Sneaked glands thru Railroad man Horton “Dot” Flirting Blue Laws Smile Passed Mrs. Jordan Jordan “Art” Crabbing A SpankingKnickers Kicked Mama’s boy Utter “Rene” Wiggling Straight- Giggle jacket Worked Washer- woman Strass- burger “Ray” Studying Brain feverNeatness Deserved Rabbi Thorne “Fat” Falling allReduce Shape over self Fell Model for ton truck Sehulster “Jim” Hay-seed Girls Short JeansSlid Rail Split- ter Otto “Sam” Unpaid duesGold dust That chec- er-board sweater Kidded Butcher White “Lue” Doing Roger’s French Let Roger Sense Study Studied Aristocrat Haycock “Stretch” Too Long Stop EatingNeck Pushed Oil Man Owen “Al” Argues Sore throat Voice Very well Senatress Blakeley “Bert” Heavy Diet Stature Floated Boss him Weiss “Wise” Cribbing 6 years in Nerve Sing Sing The teach-Safe- er didn’t cracker see him Sehulster “Frank” Size A few Shortness inches Miracle Barber Young “Ev” Appetite Famine Legs Took her time Wrestler Rogers “Ad” Speaking Give your Drawl Merit Suffragette ears a chance 2G
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Page 32 text:
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altr II utter GDur (Suruu Vi Of 1% MAY 12, 1935 NO SENSE President Otto Vetoes Children’s Vote PRESIDENT NOT IN FAVOR OF CHILDREN'S VOTE May 5 (Special to the OUR-GUESS) At a special joint session of Congress, President S. Otto vetoed the proposed “Children’s Suffrage Amendment” which would become the 27th amendment to the Constitution. This measure would give all children a right to vote. The bill was put through the Senate by Sentoresses Rogers and Deeker. SECRETARY OF TREASURY UTTER ANNOUNCES NEW COINS The Treasury Department will hereaf- ter circulate coins whose two faces will be similar. This will eliminate the games of head and tail, and matching. SECRETARY OF STATE RESIGNS The Honorable Ruth Backus resigned her position as Secretary of the State in Pres. Otto’s cabinet this morning during a nightmare. She left her position be- cause giggling was not allowed in that capacity. When Pres. Otto was inter- viewed this morning on her departure, he made the vile statement, “Let ’er go.” VICE PRESIDENT WHITE MAKES THRILLING SPEECH BEFORE SENATE In a speech bristling with emotional remarks. Her Honor the Vice President urged the Senate to pass the proposed bill on “Posturization” more commonly known as hair rats. Harold Pettenger, the famous basket- eer of the original Celtics arrived this morning on the liner, “Bellamy” from Paris. RENT COMMITTEE FINDS LAND- LORDS GUILTY After hearing the complaints of Mrs. D. Jordan and Mrs. D. Kinsey, tenants of Frank Sehulster’s compartments, the chairman of the committee, Alberta Blakely, has found Mr. Sehulster guilty and has referred the case to the Ice Cream Court. The tenants claim that their children are not allowed to break win- dows and write on the walk. The case is the most cruel that has come on re- cord. — SCHOOL MARM MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD Miss Harriet Freeland, the village school teacher, was killed while walking home through the woods of Upper Maco- pin. It is believed that she died in cold blood because her blood streams were in icicles when found by Lawyer Vreeland. NOTED BOOTLEGGERS INJURED One of our worthy citizens, Edward La Barre, met with a fatal accident yes- terday noon. He was testing some moon- shine at the home of Lile Fleetwood, the noted chemist, when he slipped and broke his Adam’s apple. The injured man now has his entire body in a cast and it will be a few years before he will be able to take up active business. Mr. La Barre is also the author of the famous books, “Gimme A Piece” and “Gimme Half.” “CLARENCE” STILL RUNNING The M. J. Bellamy Co., showing the play “Clarence” featuring Charlie Dilzer will end its stay at the B. H. S. Theatre tonight after a 12 year run. It will then move on to Kinnelon. Miss Blanche Vreeland, Pres, of the “Dig a Little Deeper” club, announces that Mrs. Dorothy Jordan and Miss Eva Donald have joined the organization. 28
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