Butler High School - Magnet Yearbook (Butler, PA)

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16 THE SENIOR MAGNET woods and would marvel at its hopping run. Then he would watch a squirrel as it busied itself laying up its winter supply of nuts. Horatio became so well acquainted with nature that he was able to name any flower, tree, or animal. Just below this spot a freak of nature had made a great hollow into which the stream flowed. So, although the stream was not large, it soon filled this hollow with water which resembled a small pond. This pond extended for a distance of one hundred yards. The inhabitants of Marketdale, Horatio’s home town had found it very convenient to cross the stream at this point, whereupon a small bridge had been built. This bridge had for its girders two long trees which were laid across the stream. These girders were covered with small bits of lumber from the lumber mill. Now as a means of protection from falling into the stream small pieces of trees, about three and a half feet high, had been nailed to the sides of the girders. On top of these were nailed wild cherry trees, minus their branches, which formed a kind of railing over which many people would lean and gaze into the stream. These trees were chosen for their length and slenderness, and at a junction about three quarters of the way across the bridge, their natural curves brought them in towards the middle of the bridge so that only a small distance separated them. As it happened one Sunday afternoon Horatio was pursuing his way towards his particular resting place. As a short cut to this spot, he was going through Farmer Brown’s field. Farmer Brown had an orchard in this part of the field which he valued very highly. To this orchard many of the young lads of Marketdale would make a sally, now and then, and deprive it of some of its fruit. So farmer Brown was always on the watch for these lads as they damaged his trees. Horatio peacefully pursuing his way through this field, never once suspected the least bit of harm. All of a sudden he heard a shot. His heart hurriedly made a circuit of the course usually followed by the circulation of the blood, and regained its former position just in time for Horatio to see two men running towards him. That was enough. With one terrible burst of speed Horatio started for the bridge. Although he ran with all his might, the two men easily gained on him, so that when Horatio reached the bridge, they were right behind him, With one great leap Horatio reached the middle of the stream. With an other leap he was sandwiched in between the railings of the bridge. With a curse the two men pounched upon him. But tug, push, and pull with all his might and the gentle assistance of the two strangers, who evidently were in a very great hurry as they cussed, kicked and punched Horatio, he could not be dislodged. It seems that time began to get very precious to the two gentlemen as one of them clambered up Horatio’s back and vaulted over him. The other tried to follow the same example but was not too gently pulled off Horatio’s back. After the commotion had ceased, and while Horatio was still desperately trying to free himself, two of the late arrivals pushed the railings apart and freed Horatio who immediately began to sway. Seeing that he was not being pursued, he stopped and surveyed the scene. Two men were holding a third, who was handcuffed, while a fourth man was holding two rifles. After a while the men called Horatio towards them and helped him across the bridge. One of them now explained the cause of all this commotion. The two men who Horatio had thought were pur-

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THE SENIOR MAGNET 15 Horatio Holds the Bridge Frank Demyanovich Many, many years ago, so tradition tells us, there lived in a distant country a man by the name of Horatio. This man became a hero by saving his town from destruction by the enemy. This is the way he accomplished his deed. To reach Horatio’s town the enemy had to cross a bridge. Horatio stationed himself in the middle of this bridge and held the enemy at bay while his towns people cut the bridge down back of him. Eventually the bridge fell into the stream carrying many of the enemy with it. These, dressed in their heavy armor, drowned. Now this story is concerned with a modern Horatio. When this hero first saw the light of day his loving parents affixed the signature of Horatio D’Artell unto him. Now this name alone should make a romantic individual of any worthless chap. But not this one. The only romances he ever enjoyed were the ones pictured by Horatio Alger, his worthy namesake. The reason for Horatio’s not being a modern sheik was that he was too fat. Yes, gentle reader, that is the truth. When only sixteen years old, Horatio already weighed over one hundred and eighty pounds, and this excess avoirdupois scattered itself over an area of five feet three inches from the ground. So you can see for yourself that it was no small task for any Juliet to hold him in her lap for the smallest part of a minute. Eventually Horatio was ostracized from all the select societies for this one great failing of his. To say that this fat worried Horatio would be putting it mildly; for he had tried everything on the market for reducing from Walter Camp’s Daily Dozen to fasting for days at a stretch. But did this help any? Not the least bit, for the only thing that Horatio seemed to lose was the hair from the top of his head. Horatio then tried jumping rope, but fell down and jarred himself so severely that he had to stay in bed for a whole week. Next he tried boxing but his opponent was so much more clever than Horatio, that Horatio had to sport his adopted colors, black and blue, for another week. Everything seemed to run against the grain when Horatio had anything to do with it, until at last he could not boast of one good friend as everybody seemed to make a laughing stock out of him. At first Horatio was happy, cheerful, and full of fun. He was kind to man and animal alike. But later on he began to get gloomy and would wander off into the woods by himself. Soon these trips into the woods became more numerous until it was not an uncommon sight to see him sitting by a stream admiring the works of nature by himself. Now there was one spot in particular that Horatio visited the most. This was a certain green spot through the center of which ran a stream. This stream wras bordered on each side by tall oak, maple, and chestnut trees. Horatio would sit on one of the rocks on the banks of the stream and gaze gloomily into the water as it worked itself in between the rocks. Nothing seemed to please him more than just watch the forest folks at play or work. Many a time he would watch a hare bound up from near the stream towards the

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THE SENIOR MAGNET 17 suing him happened to be two robbers. They had broken into Montgomery’s grocery store and taken a large sum of money which had been left in the safe over Sunday. These two men were being pursued and one of the pursuers had fired the shots which Horatio thought were meant for him. Hut for his being caught in the bridge, the two men would have escaped. As it was, one of them was captured and immediately confessed, giving the name of his companion who was captured in the next town. The news of the capture had preceded him to town; so when Horatio reached Marketdale, he was immediately proclaimed a hero. Everybody crowded around him. The Marshall of the town extended his warmest thanks to Horatio, while the proprietor of the grocery store had rewarded him with the magnifi-cient sum of a brand new one dollar bill. Some of the matrons of the town insisted on kissing him, while mothers, who had grown daughters, insisted on having a party in his honor. As a matter of fact, Horatio was the best attraction in the town of Marketdale for some time. But Horatio did not really begin to star until the next issue of the Marketdale Weekly Minor appeared. It was an extra telling all about Horatio’s wonderful deed, while in the very center was a picture of our young hero, fat as ever, but more popular. It seems that the reporter had slightly altered the description of the capture for it said that Horatio had turned upon the bandits and struggled with them only to have one of them escape. But what does a slight error like that matter? Any way, all we know is that the Market dale society welcomed him back with open arms, even letting him play the hero in the next play put. on by the Marketdale Social Players Or ganization. Otherwise he lived happily ever after.