Burlington High School - Rarebits Yearbook (Burlington, Ontario Canada)

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26 RAREBITS mine Bnggie LUCY VANDERHOORN, IV Mine doggie, vot a pup he iss, Der badness off der verld iss hiss, I got 'im ven he vas dat schmall, But den he couldn't learn at all, It seems dot der more big he grows, Der more he plays and less he knows. Mine puppy, vot a funny dog, Hiss hair iss stif chust like a hog, Und like a hog, hiss nose iss vite, Vile his face iss black, black as de night, Hiss legs, it seems dey're out off wack 'Cause van iss vite und tree iss black. Mine doggie iss a awkward pup, Hiss tail hangs down, hiss head hangs UD, One leg in front iss kind off short, So he don't run der way he ort. But since dat kind of dog he'll be, He's just der kind off dog for me. Mine doggies, he chust bothers me, Und makes me mad as I can beg Sometimes he gits between mine legs, But I can't spank him 'cause he begs To have me stop und play mit 'im, So I take 'im to der lake to schvim. ' Vun day I went to der butcher shop, Und got some meat, but he ate it opp, I vent to spank 'im goot and hard, But der little pup looked up so scard, Dat I patted hiss head und let 'im go, But next time he does it won't be so. Der's many tings mine doggie does But I can't beat 'im for dem, 'cause Vot he does, he doesn't know, Or else he vouldn't do dem zo. Und after all I luff dat pup, Whose tail hangs down und head hangs up. Sunnet D. L. BIGGS, V With all due apologies to Shakespeare. When in disgrace in all the teachers' eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state, And trouble my family with my use- less cries, And look upon that school and curse my fate. Wishing me like to one more rich in arts, Clever like him, like him with brains possest, Desiring this one's notes and that one's marks, With what I most desire provided least, Yet in my marks myself basely de- spising, Sadly I think on this-that at this rate, By summertime unless my marks keep rising, My examination money will vacate. For these sad things remembered, such grief brings, That then I fain would change the run of things.

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RAREBITS 25 Just as I thought, he said triumphantly, weak-decidedly weak! You must go to bed for eleven months, he went on sternly. Lord Lollypop slunk off upstairs-the doctor sat down to the liquid. In the cellar Buttin found the butler browsing among candied apples of many shades and shapes. They each essayed one and began to munch. The daring domestic mentioned the secretary as a suspect, for Cupid's arrow had become poisoned between them when he had neglected to give her a pearl necklace as a present. It was very apparent that she had fulfilled her desire, he thought. The sleuth wandered forth in search of the secretary and finally meandered into the library where he found the doctor who was slightly incompetent, mdissolved paste pearls did not agree with himi, yet the doctor recognized him, as the detective had done on a previous occasion, some detecting for his wife. Their promised duel, at meeting, took place. They began to .spar in the centre of the carpet. The same instant Lord Lollypop crept across the room sweetmeat bound. The strain had been too great on his neurotic nerves. A second later a mysterious lady with a black bag glided past the open door. Both antagonists acted on the proverb: Duty before Self For the doctor soared through the air and pulled the august aristocrat up by the ear, while the stirling sleuth tip-toed steal- thily after the cryptic newcomer who, he thought, was the robber returned to the scene of the crime. Voices were upraised in the room where the unknown had vanished, as the master criminal hunter put his optic to the keyhole. He discerned the secretary and Lady Lollypop who had ,returned when she discovered that her mother was out,-the mother, poor soul, completely unknown to her had been arrested for the illegal sale of chocolate eclairs. Ho! said Detective Buttin, Accomplices, having remembered the words of the butler. He leaped in. Prior to this activity, Lady Lollypop's and her secretary's dispute had been as to which was the best tinted of the lollypops. Lady Lollypop liked saffron, while the secre- tary preferred peach. Now the wealth of words was turned on the unlucky detective. He saw rightly that these criminals were too hard to get along withg so he started edging towards safety. Wait, quoth Lady Lollypop, her face softeningf' have a suck. I never partake on duty, Buttin replied proudlyg nevertheless, he accepted the confection. Lady Lollypop, in her kindness, exchanged the lollypops and it was a measure of iioor polish, made into a sucker-especially for visitors-that the sleuth sucked so heartily. He descended the stairs. The floor polish had taken effect: he was an angel in shining brightness, so much so that he illuminated the shadowy hallway and saw a vacuum cleaner in the corner. Ho! he ejaculated, I will meditate, and emulating Sherlock Holmes and his violin, he listened to the music of the purgerg but it was incorrect to his sensitive earg so he gave the rug manicurer-which was suffering under a load of shattered suckers-a well needed cleaning. He gave a shout of glee as he pulled forth the pearl necklace from the bright debris. Then he strode majestically into the library. Here he found Lord Lollypop holding his ear for the doctor had squeezed it continually for eleven minutes, presumably as a punishment, the was really getting back at the eminent lord for not paying his debtsi. He had fallen into salubrious slumber in a chair from exhaustion owing to the muscular effort expanded. I have found the necklace, shouted the sleuth. No! said Lord Lollypop. Yes! replied the detective. How long this would have kept up is uncertain if the ever helpful parrot had not said: The decision goes to the detective gentleman on points. These words removed all doubt from Lord Lollypop's mind, and as the doctor was rousing himself, the great lord, fearing he would be discovered, motioned the detective to give the jewels to his butler who had just entered and was rewarding the parrot with a taste of a lollypop of a delicate pastel. The secretary followed by Lady Lollypop now invaded the portals of the library. When the secretary saw the pearls, all was forgiven. She ran forward to clutch them, but it was a vain effort. The butler withdrew them and said hurriedly, They are the lord's. What, said Lady Lollypop and the doctor in unison and they began to advance menac- ingly on Lollypop . Here you are, my dear, said the aristocrat relinquishing the pearls to the Mrs. . Where is my pecuniary reward? asked the doctor dismayed that he was being left out. He has a balance in the bank, returned Lady Lollypop gratefully. Thus it was that Lord Lollypop never owned an automobile. He had to be content riding with the butler when his hopes were realized in a bigger and better Spiif Eight eleven years later. Hope springs eternal in the human breast. Let us hope for him-not for Lord Lollypop --the incomparable sleuth, who is still waiting for his wages.

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RAREBITS 27 illivhiral Flnzpeilinn iKPpnrI Pawn, MEDICAL STAFF Dr, A. H. Speers, M.O.H. High School Board, Burlington, Ont. Dear Board Members,- It is my pleasure to present the first report in connection with the medical inspection and examination of the scholars attending the Burlington High School for the term 1931-32. I congratulate the board on inaugurating this service, which has seemed to me to be so eminently worth-While. Altogether there were 304 students examined. The examina- tion was made with the assistance of the public health 'nurse, Miss MacFarlane, who was present at all times. The finest co-opera- tion was manifested by the students and principal, Mr. Bates, and in many instances the girls and boys were anxious to know of their physical condition. At first it was thought to examine the students with a view to their physical fitness for P. T. only, but on later consideration it was deemed advis- able to examine the eyes, tonsils, teeth, etc. The defects zfound have justified this latter decision. As a result of this heart examination 17 were excluded from P.T. and other exercises: the other 33 were allowed to take exercise with caution, that is, P.T. but not the more strenuous exercises. The number who have had communicable diseases at some period or other of their life has been ascertained and the total placed opposite the name of each disease: Measles, 2255 German measles, 81 Scarlet fever, 423 Whooping cough, 1703 Chicken pox, 1733 Mumps, 1023 Infantile paralysis, 2, Small pox, 45 Diphtheria, 163 Cerebral S. Miss Phyllis MacFarlane R.N. meningitis, lg Typhoid fever, 2, Rheumatism, 23 Pneumonia, 21. In explanation of the foregoing, I would like to state that the heart was examined before and after exercise, and the pulse counted before and 2 minutes after exercise. In many cases a murmur was brought out after 15 toe touches. Many of the murmurs were of a functional character and should clear up, particularly with proper care. How- ever, I have deemed it advisable to record all abnormalities detected. In the case of eye defects it was ascertained that 23 students' eyes were sufiiciently bad to warrant the use .of glasses. Another 19 students' eyes were not short sighted enough to demand the use of glasses at this date, but it is suggested that their eyes be kept under close observation. In the case of all discovered defects, re- ports have been sent to the parents or guar- dians concerned. The number of reports reached the surprisingly large total of 180. In these reports the parents or guardians were kindly advised to keep in touch with their family physician, oculist, or specialist. A number of parents and guardians have al- ready acted upon the suggestion made, and beneficial results have been apparent. I have deemed it a great privilege to have had the opportunity of rendering this student medical examination service, and I trust that the benefits obtained will have a far-reaching effect on the student life of Burlington and community. . I am, Yours very respectfully, A. H. SPEERS, M.O.H.