Buckhannon High School - Rhododendron Yearbook (Buckhannon, WV)

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ggmq ,i ii JJ, The 'Rhododendron 1924 AN INTERVIEW WITH JEW JOHNSON How To Make 351.98 Last Through a High School Love Affair A short time ago my employer informed me that I was to have the honor and pleasure of calling on the Honorable Jew Johnson for the purpose of interviewing him on the economic standpoint of a love affair. The object of this article is to encourage some of the younger generation who have been greatly discouraged owing to the H. C. L. fhigh cost of lovingj, and we felt that Mr. Johnson was most competent to give us this information. On entering his apartments I was ushered in to his private study where a howling mob, craving for information along the same line, was waiting, but upon identifying myself I was permitted an interview without delay. To open this interview I explained that I was to gather a few of his most reliable secrets to which he owed his marked success as Chief Advisor of the Economic Love Makers Incorporation. At first he seemed rather reluctant to reveal the secrets of his High School training, but finally, in view of the service that he would be doing for humanity, he became so enthused that our conversation lasted for three hours. After much careful thought I have condensed his rules into as brief a form as pos- sible so that they may be easily committed to memory and can always be kept handy on one's person. Above all, choose a girl of extremely small stature. The main advantage in this lies in the fact that she may readily be passed into games, shows, concerts, etc., on half fare. Whenever she hints for a picture show in such a manner that it is absolutely impos- sible for you to misunderstand her, always remember these few important sidelights on theatre going: Never start to the show until between eight and eight-thirty as this will make it necessary to remain at the show until all stores of any kind will be closed. On entering the show lead her by the hand, saying This way little. girl, and it will make it more emphatic if she will meekly reply Yes, papa. On the way to the show, remark of the disgusting habit some people have of chew- ing gum and also of the harmful effects of popcorn on the teeth. Here Mr. Johnson related his favorite anecdote which he uses in this case: An aunt of mine had a passionate craving for popcorn in her youth and-sob, sob-she lost three of her teeth before she was eighty. It is extremely advisable to map out a course home from the show before you go, being careful that you do not pass any restaurants along the way. He next gave us the three-fold advantage of being an athlete namely: getting passes to the games, not able to eat where coach may see you, and being forced to have parlor dates. This saves restaurant bills, drug store bills, tickets to the games, and cuts down number of pay dates. , When on trips and wish to write her, always use stamped postals obtainable at any post-office for one cent, thereby saving the price of an envelope, two-cent stamp and sheet of paper, a net saving of a fraction over two cents. Profess total ignorance of dancing and instead of going to the dances have her teach you at home. Be careful not to get good enough to appear in public or to attend dances, for this is a very expensive diversion. Every once in a while mention the remarkable affect on the health that walking will produce and this will' eliminate all taxi bills. With these few rules as sign-posts a mere amateur may advance far on the road to success. ll l 00

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ay Us ,, The 'Rhododendron 1924 I DID YOU EVER HEAR? Edward Bratt: Deed, Mr. Brooks, I'm really too sick to be in school. French Hyre: Does any one know what the motion is to be? Or how it should be worded? Darrell fin one of his famous argumentsjz No, I don't think it could ever be that way, and I have a lot of proof over in my room. Squawky fto lVIr.Brooks, after question had been read three timesjz What did you say the number of that question was before the last one? Miss Snodgrass: I don't care a continental what you say, public sentiment goes a long way in everything. Mr. Bonar Cl0:45 chemistryl: Hurry up and get out of here, I want to go to town before dinner. Lucille: Do you have a pencil I could borrow, Mr. Brooks? Mr. Brooks: Where is your notebook to-day? A STRANGE SITUATION One evening while coming home from work, I met one of my classmates. He was walking by himself, but nevertheless, he was talking. He seemed to be arguing both sides of a debate. Thinking this rather strange, I stopped and asked him what he was talking about. He told me that he oiled his brain every morning, and that he had let the oil can slip. This, he said, had set the pivot, which the tongue turns on, working and he couldn't get it stopped. As I looked amazed at him, he explained the whole matter to me. which was something like this: When I was a small boy, I was always timid and afraid to talk. Every time I thought of something to say, my tongue would seem to stick and refuse to move. In fact, I had no talent along any line. One day a man came to our home. He was selling Pig Oil which he said would remove all rust from the brain. He stated, also, that with the use of this oil I could do whatever I wished. He then explained that the brain controlled every move of the body and that whenever I used this oil and got the rust removed from my brain I would be great. I bought a bottle of this remedy and a drill. The drill was to bore holes through my skull in order that the oil could reach my brain. The drilling was rather painful, but the instant the oil touched my brain I felt that I had become a great man. I could dance, sing, talk, play the saxophone, and do any- thing else I wished. I have five small holes in my head: one above each ear which seems to oil the tongue-because it is loose at both ends: one in the front of my brain, controls the mus- cles of my face: one in the center of my head, oils the section of the brain which controls the arms, and the other in the lower back of my head, controls the muscles of my legs. Each morning I place one drop of oil in each hole and then adjust a cork in each to prevent the oil from running out. If I am going to make a speech, I add an extra drop of oil in the holes above the ears and an extra one in the hole in the center of my head to aid me in making gestures: and if I have a date afterwards I add two extra drops. If I am wishing to vamp some girl, I put an extra drop in the hole in the front of my skull: if dancing, an extra one in the hole in the back of my head. Because of doing this, I am sometimes called a minister and at other times a bootlegger. In fact, I can be either. The only strange thing about this, he said, is that whenever any subject is being discussed, I take the opposite side of the question, regardless of the way I think. I99l I

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The Rhododendron I 924 .ssetfd E '22, SCHOOL DIRECTORY SENIOR CLASS President ...................,... French Hyre Vice-President .............. Kermit Proudfoot Secretary ....,,.............. Eleanor Reppert Treasurer .................. Grace McCartney Advisors: Prin. M. M. Broolcs, Chairmang Flos- sie Snodgrass, Mary Boylen. JUNIOR CLASS Vice-President. Secretary ............ I ........ . Treasurer ..... Advisors: Ross Lois Clarlc. h .Hayward Hamriclc President ................. . . . .... Elizabeth McWhorter .Hall Talbott Young Bonar, Chairman: Byrd Pickens, SOPHOMORE CLASS President .................... Bernard Murray Vice-President .... .... R andall Hamriclc Secretary .............. ....... A nna Kiddy Treasurer ....................... Eva Swisher Advisors: Olive Wolverton, Chairmang William Brown, Anna Reger. SCHOOL LIFE Directed by the Assistant Editor ..... Associate Editors: Senior. , .... . Junior ......... Sophomore ..... junior High .... Business Manager.. Assistant Manager. . English Department ........Eva Hamner Editor-in-Chief, ........ ... . . . . . .Margaret White . . . ,Grace McCartney .. ...Hall Talbott . . . .Elizabeth Hooker .Florence Haught .........Frencb Hyre . . . .Dorothy Withers CALHOUN DEBATERS' CLUB Directed by Mary Boylen President ..,.................... French Hyre Vice-President .... ..... F ranlc Ireland Secretary ....... .,,. B rozena Brown Treasurer ..,.................. Darrell Rardin QUI VIVE Directed by Byrd Piclcens President ................. Hayward Williams Secretary ..... ..... B rozena Brown Treasurer. . . .... Grace McCartney PHILOMATHEAN Directed by Mary Boylen President ............... . ...... Edward Bratt Vice-President .... ..... D orothy Withers Secretary ..., . . . ..... Eleanor Reppert Treasurer ................... Elizabeth Talbott CIVIC CLUB Directed by Flossie Snodgrass President ............... ...... F ranlc Ireland Vlice-President .... ..... F rench Hyre Secretary ....... .... B rozena Brown Treasurer ..........,..... , . . .Lucille Murray DRAMATIC CLUB Directed by Mary Boylen President .................... Farland Arnold Vice-President .... ..... E leanor Reppert Secretary ....... .... G race McCartney Treasurer. .... ...... F rench Hyre 11011