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Page 12 text:
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Before TO J. G. Our watchman-astronomer, Joe, Has quite a long distance to go At night through Bryn Mawr, One eye on a star. The other on girls down below. After GHOST WRITER FINDS TAYLOR HAUNTED Tracks Down Elusive Campus Spirit Taylor, March 6th. The Taylor mystery was solved when the ghost of Juno was discovered pacing the halls last night. She was a pathetic sight. Dust lay thick upon her insubstantial body, giving shape to the otherwise formless spirit, except where some over-zealous meddler had brushed off her nose. We present the re- sults of her interview, uncensored. When asked to give a brief resume of her life, she murmured inaudibly, ' Life. Protoplas- mic insignificance unconfined in mathematical formulae. ' Q. Pardon? Would you mind defining your terms? A. Never mind. I was just remembering what life is today. It hasn ' t always been like this. I was a goddess once, an immortal. My life was wild and free. I tread the wine dark seas, or, like an eagle of the sun, scaled the snowy peaks of Olympus, glancing through space on the wings of the wind. Q. That must have given you an extraordi- nary, if classical, background. A. You ' re young, my dear. More is needed than classical knowledge nowadays. As an undergraduate I failed the German Oral twice. No matter. My hours are almost gone, and that reminds me I must get back to the subject. Where was I? Oh, yes. My life falls naturally into three periods, purely arbitrary distinctions of course, for convenience. Q. Yes, I know. You underwent a steady- development throughout. A. Now my classical period was one of ex- perimentation. Q. How interesting! What were you ex- perimenting with? A. Forms. Q. Literary, of course.
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Page 13 text:
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A. No. Metamorphosis. I started out as a goddess, tried the woman, and ended up as a professor. Then I became a statue, and here I am a spirit. Q. Oh, I see. Experiments in zoological evolution, found- ed on the Pythagorean theory of metempsychosis. A. That brings me to the Bryn Mawr period. Q. What did you teach? A. They made me dean. Judging from the circum- stances, it was self-evident that I was doomed to be a misfit. For centuries I had been patroness of the domestic lives of women. Now to be made arbiter of their minds (frankly I never thought they had any) — well, to be brief, I found myself incompetent. Q. Yes, it does seem incompatible. What do you think of the modern woman ' ? ' ' A. Oh my, dear Jupiter would never have approved of this emancipation stuff. He always liked home bodies. In memory of him I tried to establish a chair in Home Economics. When the senate rejected the plan I became merely a figure head, — less even, — ' atmosphere, 1 — that ' s what they called us. I heard them say again and again. ' What would Taylor be without the busts. They add such atmosphere. ' Rot! Cheap sentiment, but potent, for now I really am atmosphere! She began to fade. In answer to a desperate Come back! Come back! Would you return for a professorship? , she sighed, Only if I could teach a marriage course. Her noble intellectual brow disappeared, and your re- porter rushed off to see the dean. ANNE CAMPBELL TOLL JULIA HARNED Mrs. Nahm and Prospective Buyers.
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