Bryn Mawr College - Bryn Mawr Yearbook (Bryn Mawr, PA)

Page 9 text:

v ory=Kest Oorhn flour Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! This is Station W-O-E broadcasting its nightly Cozy-Rest-Coflin program. Remember our motto: When you die, Friends should buy Cozy-Rest — , — . — It is the best. Don t be old-lashioned and sleep in peace. Sleep in one of our plush-lined, Fisher-body models, ouIl never regret it! Now tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we re going to let you hear a true con- fession. We have right here with us a lady who has experienced such things as you 11 never lorget to your dying day, and she will tell you about them herself. Here she is: Mrs. Manning! % % Alas! alas! where shall I make a beginning and where shall I make an end of all my sorrows? Alas! But come, I must pull myself together. I must take this in my stride. The obvious place to begin (hen, heh) would be at the beginning (heh, heh) and so I do. It was years ago when I was a student at Bryn Mawr College. Like Caesar, I was ambitious. I saw my fellow-students gambolling over the lawns, careless of my will, and I thought, Power! If only I could hold these creatures in my grasp, wield and drive them as I wished, I would be content! I would give my soul for that! Xo sooner had I confessed as much to the ambient air, than there leaped Irom the book I was holding a thin, anemic wraith, which addressed me in quavering tones: can give you power! IOU? I returned with composure and disdain. iou aren t sufficiently well-nourished. ou coulan I haunt a mosquito! 1 hat s just my trouble, he nodded like a fog in a wind. But if you give me Food, I shall give you all you want. With a good, square meal diffused in my insubstantial body, I am a very prince ol air and darkness. Lucifer is my servant, lb- trembles al my name, which is Learning. Unfortunately, I am al present, as you say, quite under-nourished. I leed, you see, upon the brains ol all human creatures who read hooks and remember whal they read. Now there is no one who reads an more, or il there is. surely there is no one who remembers. Know I edge Floats in and oul ol minds before I can seize upon it, and I starve. Heavens and I I. II. how I starve! What, I inquired cautiously, for I did nol wish lo offer mysell to Ins dietary needs, Whal do you n.ml me to do? You need simplj promise thai you will lour all who hill through my influence into oni hands to read, read, read, and remember, remember, remember. I romise that, and in an instanl you will have the powei you desire. I promised. Lightning flashed, thunder resounded in the concave hollows ol the si.ii ks. the earth trembled. When the smoke cleared away, I was silling in an ,,.,! Ion, i bed office. f wo secretaries waited breathless!) Foi m winds. Outside