High-resolution, full color images available online
Search, browse, read, and print yearbook pages
View college, high school, and military yearbooks
Browse our digital annual library spanning centuries
Support the schools in our program by subscribing
Privacy, as we do not track users or sell information
Page 25 text:
“
The £igbt in the House THE Speaker of the House was trembling with excitement, while big, hot tears rolled unheeded down his cheeks. The Secretary of the Treasury was nervously tugging at his long, white beard, which was still sparkling with the gold dust that had flown into it during his early morning stroll through the vaults. The House to a man was standing apprehensively on the edge of its seats. And all this was because four unassuming, pretty young women, dressed in black caps and gowns and carrying an owl, were asking that very question which no member of the House is allowed to embarrass his fellows by asking. Gentlemen, the young ladies were crying. Gentlemen! What is the gold standard? The Senators looked down at the floor and fidgeted under the accusing gaze of the young women. I always said it was a mistake to give the vote to women, the Secretary of the Treasury uttered in his beard. The Speaker of the House retired into the nearest corner and wept bitterly, with his face turned to the wall. A woman in the gallery dropped a hair-pin with a resounding clatter. Gentlemen, insisted the young ladies, can it be that you, the leaders of the nation, in whose hands the American people has placed the fate of this, our glorious country, can it be that you do not know what the gold standard is? No one denied the charge. Forty-eight Senators prayed silently that their tormentors would soon go home. Then we shall have to tell you! indefatigably cried the young women. The gold standard is — The excitement was so intense that the speaker fainted — the gold standard is the banner of France with three fleur de lis imprinted upon it. Resounding cheers arose throughout the House, but the Secretary looked uncomfortable. Ladies, he said, may I ask a question? If this is so, how am I to tell how much our money is worth? How many fleur de lis shall I put to the dollar? The young women looked scornfully upon him in his stupidity. What can be troubling you? they asked. Is it not perfectly obvious that every piece of money in the country is worth its weight in gold? A scale! A scale! Bring me a scale and some gold! called the Secretary of the Treasury, whipping a paper dollar out of his pocket. At last we shall see how much the dollar should be worth! Our troubles are over! You care too much about money anyway, said one of the young women. Money is a dead thing and time belongs to God, as the Middle Ages saw when they forbade usury. I am afraid I don ' t understand, said the Secretary of the Treasury, sitting down to weigh his paper dollar. What was the mediaeval doctrine of usury? It is a trifle complicated. You had better listen carefully, said the young women. The Senators tried hard to concentrate, but the unusual strain began to tell on them, and several fell asleep right where they stood on the edge of their seats. The young women considerately lowered their voices, so as not to disturb the exhausted leaders of their country. 19
”
Page 26 text:
“
The mediaeval doctrine of usury, they whispered, was a written contract and money paid back or death. A lord was entitled to anything on his own estate, but the money-lenders extorted 300-400% interest and the mediaevals considered this one of the cardinal sins, especially since produce was demanded from land worked by peasants. This was too much for the House, which went raving mad with brain-fever, so there was nothing for the young women to do but leave. They waved goodbye to the Secretary of the Treasury, who was balancing his paper dollar on the scale with infinitesimal grains of gold dust out of his beard, and seemed to be finding it a difficult task. It is significant, however, that as they left, their owl flew into the Treasury beard, as a symbol of the enlightened thinking which had been revealed to the House. oAlice B. Witless Makes the Qrand Tour (Editor ' s Note: Miss Witless has done us a great favor by expanding for us the diary notes she kept on her cruise. The original notes will be printed in the margin.) New Zealand. Met celebri- When I was in New Zealand we had quite a party. I ties living there, especially A can assure you it was no amateur affair. D. H. Law- Woman. Most remarkable rence told me that it was the best event of the year, and to find one on the island. although I never could quite believe anything he told me, yet I had it from his wife and several other reliable sources after he died. It was too bad he died; he was enjoying so much the company of Rider Haggard, who said to me that very same evening: Isn ' t it jolly to have old Thackeray with us again? I said I supposed it was. On the whole, I think that Rider Haggard enjoyed Thackeray more than he did Lawrence, which was a shame, because D H. was mortally afraid of Captain Cook, who kept hurtling around street corners (they do have streets in New Zealand, please) with a cuirass in hand, and Lawrence thought Rider Haggard the most suitable to protect him. For, after all, Stevenson had a bad lung, and Browning was — well, you know Browning — and A Woman, no matter how mysterious, whether she be the dark lady of the sonnets or the fair lady of the octava rima, is in the end a woman, and no protection against a cuirass. It was at the party that I found out the whole truth about New Zealand. Fielding told me, he took me off in a corner and explained that Captain Cook was king of the island (at the same time cutting a fine literary figure, of course) and that everything he said went, and had gone very well until one day D. H. Lawrence burst upon this paradise of male writers, arriving inopportunely with sons, lovers, and A Woman. The cuirass habit had started then, and the situation was becoming daily more grim. I asked Fielding why he didn ' t do some- thing about it, a man of his parts, and he said that after one more scene he was going to whip out Tom Jones and finish the whole thing off in the grand manner. I said Bravo! 20
Are you trying to find old school friends, old classmates, fellow servicemen or shipmates? Do you want to see past girlfriends or boyfriends? Relive homecoming, prom, graduation, and other moments on campus captured in yearbook pictures. Revisit your fraternity or sorority and see familiar places. See members of old school clubs and relive old times. Start your search today!
Looking for old family members and relatives? Do you want to find pictures of parents or grandparents when they were in school? Want to find out what hairstyle was popular in the 1920s? E-Yearbook.com has a wealth of genealogy information spanning over a century for many schools with full text search. Use our online Genealogy Resource to uncover history quickly!
Are you planning a reunion and need assistance? E-Yearbook.com can help you with scanning and providing access to yearbook images for promotional materials and activities. We can provide you with an electronic version of your yearbook that can assist you with reunion planning. E-Yearbook.com will also publish the yearbook images online for people to share and enjoy.
