Bryn Mawr College - Bryn Mawr Yearbook (Bryn Mawr, PA)

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Scene 4. Pronouncement. — we were surprised in chapel Monday morning When Miss Park talked about Women in Industry for twenty minutes. And we were pained when, at ten minutes past nine, She referred parenthetically to our play as a splendid failure. Scene 5. Resentment. The Book-Shop reports That the sale of Yeats ' books has fallen oil ' 100 per cent. After all, It was not his fault That 102 ) thought it could act his play. . . M enu Creamed Chicken . . ...... .50 Baked Beans ..... .20 Steak and Mushrooms ..... .90 Shirred Eggs ........ .35 Reading from right to left —

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Now It Can Be Told One can tell some things On verse ' s wings. Others one can discuss in plain English prose, after the manner of Pater, Macaulay, Henry James, or the Editorials in the College News. The subject in hand transcends both. Therefore I sing of the Countess Cathleen In contrapuntal vers libre. Scene 1. Agreement. First of all there was the informal class meeting On the hockey field When, between Hireusousai soi deine And Makarize, aitoumen The class agreed to give it. (It never pays To be too agreeable !) Scene 2. Employment. This scene is laid in Merion basement And the protagonist is banana oil With black grease playing second lead. If we were members of a Union We would all be suing for damages Because of injury to clothes and health Incurred in a hazardous occupation. Scene 3. Presentment. While it was going on We were congratulating ourselves on its success. The gold in the spirits ' sacks Could not be heard to rustle like dried leaves Beyond the tenth row back; Cathleen did not lean against the black screens in her white satin frock ; The Angel did not step on a thumb-tack ( his With her bare feet. I its We allowed the audience plenty of time to recover Between acts. (We even gave one student time enough To take her mother to the station and get back again Before we began Act Three.) We didn ' t let Miss Kathleen Kelley ' s remarks from the front row Or Dr. Leuba ' s flight Disturb us. Consequently — 26

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Imaginary Conversations No. 2 Recitative on A Flat A timid scratch on the door. Miss Swindler, dejectedly — Come in. (Enter flurried student with her finger between the pages of Terence. She stumbles over the piles of envelopes on the floor). Student — Miss Swindler, I didn ' t quite get the scansion of this line. (Here she realizes that by mistake she has handed Miss Swindler the Handy Andy. Hastily retracting it, she stuffs it in her stocking.) Miss Swindler (and here beginneth the recitative) — Well, sit down Miss Stewlett, let ' s see what ' s the trouble I hope you ' re going to like Pliny I had an awful time getting Dr. Wheeler to give up Cicero I said to him for goodness sake why don ' t you tell me ten minutes ahead of time what you ' re planning to give your classes I never know what he ' s doing and I never can find him. I ' ve never had such a poor class as this year ' s and as for cutting (here the voice drops to G sharp) it ' s frightful. This system is all wrong. (Back again to A flat). I always mark off anyway if I think a student has cut a lot I almost cut this morning myself I sat up till three o ' clock last night talking to Miss Schenck and I thought I couldn ' t bear class to-day I made up about sixteen good reasons for staying in bed but then (voice drops to G sharp again) I had a conscience. (Here back to A flat) Anyway I ' ve got so much to do I don ' t see how I can ever get it all in I ' ve got to make a speech in Chicago on Friday and it ' s miles too long and I don ' t know where to cut it. Oh it ' s a terrible job and then all of these envelopes have to be addressed and mailed this afternoon they ' ve gone and made me secretary of that f ool Archaeological Society and so I ' ve got to send out these darn invitations. Oh it ' s an awful job I ' ve just come back from town and I ' m dead tired. I had gotten a blue cape that was just what I wanted for the summer I thought it was just right but when I showed it to Miss Schenck she said it was too loud not that I think her taste is impeccable she wears a black hat that I ' ve told her makes her look like a prosperous Jewess but anyway I took back the cape and changed it for another that I didn ' t like at all. I stopped in at the dentist ' s while I was there he doesn ' t know how to do anything but charge, that man, last week he put some novocaine in that didn ' t do any good. I nearly went crazy in the night and the next day I couldn ' t talk at all and that same day when I was walking down to Low Buildings I had to trip over the fool curbstone and sprain this damn ankle again. Oh and then they did what they always do to me — poured whiskey down my throat and if there ' s one thing I can ' t stand it ' s whiskey well, come again Miss Stewlett, I ' m so rushed I don ' t see when I ' ll ever have time to do anything on my Anthology come down to tea some time, Miss Stewlett, I ' m at home every Sunday (With heavy sigh, depressed student departs.) 28