Bryn Mawr College - Bryn Mawr Yearbook (Bryn Mawr, PA)

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One of the Thousand Nine Hundred and Twenty-Five Nights Co1l-ins the reporters, make way for the press, While she her sad story relates. The Barber was Cummings to cut off her tress, But instead the Dean showed him the Gates. Watts this! cried the Gardiner, who found him outside, A-dropping his Potts in a twinkling, And Quarlesomely said to his blushing Mc Bride, Of your meaning I haven ' t a Hinkling. In packing his Gatchell his Pantz-er forgot, Though he needed them Brad-ley en-Hough. The Shipley-ves tonight, and though Gail there is not, In that Lytle Brig ' twill be rough. His Mc Bride and the Tinker they walked o ' er the Lee, A Constant-ly Hinton young man. It ' s Remak-able how you can Boross , said she: With a Mallett he Pierced her and ran. Gre-gory her body when found, And-er-son Had her tenderly Fostered with Care — -Ey carried her Shum-of the-way, and when Dunn He Gritted his teeth in despair! Oh, where can I Parker! he wearily cried, As he Saundered along in the drizzle, I Gless I Wil-soon make the coffin — she ' s died! The Carpenter brought him the Chis-el. Helen A. Hough. 13

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Imaginary Conversations No. 1 Giving Girls Knowledge G. G. Come in. (Enter a Simple Student). Oh Miss , what nice little tid-bit have you for me this morning? S. S. Er, ah — Nothing special. I just wanted to ask you how long our report ' Mees , how long is a piece of string? is to be. G G. S. S. G G. S. S. G G. S. S. G G. S. S. G. G. Now about that dropped quiz, — and a very nice one it was. Softly) Well ' nice ' is hardly the — Your answer about Venetian society shows a lamentable lack. Yes, there was part of the reading I didn ' t understand very well. Have you talked of this with your mother? Nnno, I thought you knew more about such things. I recognize the value of experience and I as I hope you have somewhat? S. S. (Embarrassed) Y-Yes. G. G. But, on the other hand, the value of voluntary — , you understand? S. S. (In a whisper) I think so. G. G. You are old enough now to know S. S. (Hastily) But about my quiz — . G. G. Yes, about that last more abstract question. Were you absent when I lectured about the Virgin Martyrs and — — even in married life? S. S. (Looking down) I was there but I didn ' t quite understand. G. G. Now in the Decameron — while Aubrey Beardsley . Have you S. S. (Blushing) Sometimes. But excuse me, I must go. (At the door) Please — my little sister takes your course — please remember her innocence — ! G. G. The value of purity through mere ignorance — — (Exit S. S. in tears). For censored portions see Appendix. 12

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The Freshmen and the President The Freshmen once were told they had To give a little show. They wanted very much to make Their first attempt a go. But what the thing could be about They really didn ' t know. The Freshmen sent the President A copy of their skit ; Expecting she would, (like themselves) Consider it a hit, How crushed they were to find that she Had never glanced at it ! The Freshmen and the President Talked for an hour or so. The Freshmen wished to give their skit : The President said, No. Why don ' t you give a circus or A nigger minstrel show? Or if it has to be a show You might at least select Such scenes as would appeal to our Superior intellect. Such drama as the name Bryn Mawr Would lead us to expect. With lovers known to history You might our eyes enthrall — Cleopatra and Antony (in fitting costume all) And Eloise and Abelard And Virginie and Paul. In any case this play of yours, As I perhaps have said, To just two thousand words in all Is strictly limited. Then Ada showed us to the door, We staggered home half dead. The words in the new copy which We handed to P. T. In count were just one thousand and Nine hundred ninety-three, And all the while we knew the show Was ruined hopelessly. I weep for you, P. T. then said, I deeply sympathize. ' Twas hard you worked so hard before The plan came to my eyes. And all the time she kept us down To the restricted size. When the night came the scenery Was very nearly dry. The electric moon was shining in The lamp-black-darkened sky. The written script did with the rules Most studiously comply. But when we got upon the stage We burbled all we knew. Stage-fright prolonged the dialogue And made the show long too, And that was scarcely odd because We ' d said the whole thing through ! In chapel Monday morning we were Sure that she ' d observe How black had been our perfidy, How terrible our nerve. How wrong we ' d been, the whole of Our first version to preserve ! She rose and she commented on The costumes in our play, How much by means of scenery We ' d managed to convey; How wonderful it was how much Two thousand words will sav! 14