Bryant Junior High School - Junior Life Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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THE JUNIOR LIFE 33 What Would Happen If 1. Lorraine Bourque left her lipstick at home? 2. Douglas Elm forgot to blush? 3. Marion Dahl lost her tennis shoes? 4. Robert Allen forgot to pick up the Math, books? 5. Kathryn Magnuson got her homework? 6. Rene Bridier got all A’s? 7. We didn't have Georg Lykken? 8. All of the teachers forgot to come to school? 9. Mr. Trafzer forgot to visit 101? 10. Miss Small forgot to assign a lesson? 11. We were dismissed at hve o’clock instead of three o’clock? 12. We had to come to school in the summer? 13. The teachers forgot to hand out the report cards? 14. Bryant had an escalator? 15. We didn't have our patient Mr. Hardakcr? We Wonder If Ten Years Ago 1. Emily Staab was the fattest baby? 2. Arnold Brooks had straight hair? 3. Betty Stevens was a noisy child? 4. Katherine Rorris had a pug nose? 5. Daniel Thompson had bow-legs? 6. Carolmae Ortley had black hair? 7. Roger Paschmeyer was the tallest baby boy? 8. Edna Pearson was the shortest baby girl? 9. Donald Perusse went to all strangers? 10. Helen Marie Oredson was the champion infant gum-chewer? 11. Maurice Remer was continually talking about something—or nothing? 12. Fred Risse pestered his little girl friends? 13. Hugh Rcimers was full of that infantile wit? 14. Edwin Cronk was an all-round favorite and liked girls with blue eyes? 15. Lelah Smith was always giggling and had such beautiful hair? 16. George Root tried to tease? 17. Verna Sutton was a joy to her playmates? 18. Henry Quist was an infant prodigy in music? 19. James Biddle was just as comical in all his ways? 20. Winifred Frazee could swim as well as toddle?

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32 THE JUNIOR LIFE Well9 I Never ! Recently while at the home of John Castle I touched the wrong switch on some electrical equipment. When the smoke had cleared away, he had an idea for a new invention, a what-will-they-bc-in-the-futurc-machinc. Personally I was very dubious as to John’s sanity at the time. I have since seen the machine and it works, and I never saw a saner person in my life than John Castle. Looking through a small aperture in the midst of dozens of dials and coils I saw Douglas Bloomberg demonstrating rowing machines in a drug-store window. Herbert Crocker was selling patent medicine, and Robert Apelt, who had broken the world’s record for kicking BB's was coming down the street talking to Harold Blakkestad who had devoted his life to raising Austrian fleas for Edward Skinner, a famous doctor, to test poisons on. Harlan Erickson, Fay Root, and Lynn Rolig were also famous scientists, but they are all in the institution devoted to the care of half wits. While these boys were working on an extremely complicated machine a six ton insulator fell on their heads and jimmied the works inside. It was a wonderful age my comrades were living in. Bryant Junior was a laboratory covering six square blocks with television in every room. Frances Clausen was teaching Sanskrit at the time and “Sonny Herman with Bob Hinck and Ernest Carlson as his assistants was conducting an extensive study of frog hair and worm cars to be used for stuffing pillows. You may doubt my word, but all I can say is, “Wait and see. • • Little Things In Life Betty Lou Schoening thinks that the greatest accomplishment of the ancient Romans was speaking Latin. Jack Grogan still maintains that the world’s greatest inventor was an Irishman named Pat Pending. Marion Seefcldt, when asked for Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, replied that he never lived there. After a year of scientific research, Edward Lund has discovered that the heavy end of a match is the light end. Robert Hcnretta’s pals think he’s a wit. Jean Ohlin has come to the conclusion that they’re half right. Donald Birtness’ idea of a hypocrite is a boy who comes to school with a smile on his face. When Leo Filzcn heard of “The Last Days of Pompeii, he wondered what Pompeii died of. Wanda Ford wasn't sure, but she thought it was some kind of an eruption. Miss Brunner has decided that Robert Allen has a head for geometry. It’s both plane and solid. Last but not least, according to Bernice Kronick’s opinion, Scotland Yard is two feet eleven inches.

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34 THE JUNIOR LIFE More Gossip Muriel Paulson entertained at a bridge party last Friday afternoon and oh! what a party! I can’t say that there was much bridge played but what does it matter? I must tell you who was there. Of course Denise Carbcrson appeared in a striking outfit and her hair looked beautiful. She said that she had it waved at Harold Anderson’s new beauty parlor. Then there was Winifred Barker—and do you know, she is beginning to put on the pounds again? Orleans Hugo was there and she has turned platinum blonde all of a sudden. Charlotte Prescott arrived a half hour late and explained that she had not had the car under complete control all the way over. Emily Staab was present to tell all the details of the gay charivari given in honor of Dr. Henry Quist. Alice Jacobi trudged wearily in and nearly fell asleep twice. You see she gave a farewell party for Harry Nickel the night before. Dorothy Hadley completed the guest list and arrived merrily humming the familiar strains of “Shuffle Off To Buffalo.’’ Here are some hits of news picked up during the afternoon’s conversation: Mary Nelson performed her first operation last week. Betty Semmer has won fame as a blues singer. Joyce Newman and Boh Hinck have been cast to co-star in Paramount’s new production, “Lazy Loafers” taken from the hook written by Bernice Kronick. Robert Allen is a mathematics professor at Yale. Glen Sachs, Richard Clark, Bob Kelly and Roger Clark have all been missing since the celebration of Bryant’s tenth anniversary, and Charlotte Vandinberg has finally persuaded Maxine Rose to put mustard with hamburgers in her new shop. After refreshments were served, Winifred Barker excused herself, say-' ing that she must get over to the church to see about some things for Sunday. While I am on the subject I might say that Winifred has become terribly enwrapped with church work since the new minister, the Rev. Mr. Edwin Cronk, started last month.—Taken from “Society Column in New York Times. Did You Know It? Frcshic knows not and knows that he knows not. Soph knows not and knows not that he knows not. Junior knows and knows not that he knows. Senior knows and knows that he knows.