Bryant Junior High School - Junior Life Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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40 JUNIOR LIFE WOULD SHE? We read that women now carry mail as well as men. They might be called “Female Mail Men.” PAGING EDISON! Mary had a little cow And oh, how it did stutter. In place of every quart of milk It gave a pound of butter. NEXT MORNING? “How arc you feeling ol' man.” inquired the ward doctor of one of his patients. “Not so bad. doctor.” replied the patient, but my breathing troubles me.” “Well.” assured the doctor. “I’ll see if I can stop that tomorrow.”—Everybody’s. SO CONVENIENT Clerk—“Do you want a room for 25 cents or 50 cents?” Stranger—“What's the difference?” Clerk—“Well, we put a rat-trap in the 50-ccnt room. —Hamilton (Ont.) Herald. NOW AUNTIE! Bobby—“Ma. why don't hens have teeth?” Mother—' I hey don’t need them, dear: they have bills for teeth.” Bobby—“Aun: Kat: has a b ll for teeth. Is that the reason she's called an old hen?” One evening when Ac.'am was making love to Eve, she sighed. Adam asked her the trouble and she replied, If I were only sure that I am the only woman you ever loved.” ANOTHER TOPSY A friendly old lady passed a little child on the road feverishly making mud-pies. Questioning the little tot the woman finally asked: “And where were you born?” I wasn't born at all,” was the reply: ”1 got a step-mother.” ? ? ? ? Reporter— And in what State were you born, professor?” Professor— Unless my recollection fails me. in a state of ignorance. Reporter—“Yes. to be sure: and how long have you lived there?” POLITE Lucky I met you. old man. Can you lend me $5? No. I haven’t a cent with me.” And at home?” They arc all well, thank you.” WOMAN'S GREATEST WEAPON His wife—“What’s more. I saw you with yo-,.r bear'd of directors and I think the hat sht had cn was something awful. THERE’S ALWAYS THE FIRST-TIME There goes a man who has never lost a case. ”Wh3t is he—doctor, lawyer or bootlegger?”—Life. BETTER SALESMAN THAN POLITICIAN A former Speaker of the House once wired a fellow-politician to meet him in Pittsburgh. and the recipient, wishing to avoid what he feared might be an unpleasant interview. took advantage of interrupted communications. due to heavy rains, and replied: Sorry I cannot get to Pittsburgh. Washout on line.” The Speaker wired back: “Don't mind a little thing like that. Buy a new shirt and come on.” The politician kept the appointment.—Everybody’s Magazine. IN DAYS OF OLD Now children. said the teacher, write all you have learned about King Alfred, but don't say anything about the burning of the cakes: 1 want to find out what else you know.” Half an hour wee Jeanie handed in her effort: “King Alfred visited a lady at a cottage, but the less said about it the better.”—Tid-Bits (London). “As I was crossing a bridge the other day. said an Irishman. I met Pat O'Brien. 'O'Brien.’ says I. how are you?’ 'Pretty well, thank you. Brady.' says he. ’Brady.' says I. 'that's not my name!’ ’Faith,’ says he. 'and mine's not O’Brien. With that we again looked at each other, an' sure enough it was nayther of us.” LUCKY FRIENDS Father O'Flynn— But why did you pick a quarrel and fight with this man—a total stranger?” Barney— Sure. Yer Reverence, all me friends wor away.” REVISED ALGEBRA Mrs. Gottrichquikk (to visitor)— Yass. our little son Jamie is learning French and algebra, you know. Jamie, tell the lady how to say ‘Good morning’ in algebra.”— Chicago News. OUCH! The Model—“Mr. Jones wants me for a fine picture he’s going to paint. ‘Cleopatra and the Snake'. Her Rival—“Indeed! And who is he going to get for Cleopatra? WILLING WORKER Convict, did you steal that rug?” No. ycr Honor. A lady gave it to me and told me to beat it and I did.”

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JUNE. 1925 39 SOME GETTING Jim: How is your radio. Joe? Joe: Why I got Italy so loud last night I could pick spaghetti off the aerial. A Brvant Junior: What did you do to your hair. Miss Farnam? Miss Farnam: Oh. cut it out! Is this a healthy town? asked a Chicago man of a native of a certain benighted region of the west. It sure is. replied the native. When I came here. I hadn't the strength to utter a word: I had scarcely a hair on my head: I couldn’t walk across the room, and I had to be lifted from my bed! That’s wonderful! exclaimed the innocent from Chicago. How long have you been here? I was born here. —Farm Life. Tramp: Your dog just bit a piece of flesh out of my leg. mum. Woman: Glad you mentioned it. I was just going to feed him. —Nabor News. There were three men: an Englishman. Frenchman, and an Irishman. They were arguing about which of their trains can go the fastest. The Englishman said: Our trains go so fast that the trees along the way. all look like a solid row of shrubbery. That’s nothing. said the Frenchman, Ours go so fast thit the telephone poles lo A like one great big wall. Then it was t;me for the Irishman to speak. He had been think:ng for some time and now he spoke up. Say. do you know how fast our trains travel? They go so fast that when they go past gardens of carrots, cabbages, onions, rutabagas and lakes they all look like soup! MIRACULOUS AIR Visitor: So you really think Yarmouth is a healthy place? Native: Healthy? Why we cure her- r-ngs here after they’re dead!—London Tit-Bits. THAT’S DIFFERENT The old gentleman met the ground w th a thud. A small boy who was watching burs into tears. Don’t cry. little man said the old gentleman. I’m not very much hurt’ “No. wh;rrpercd the youngster, but it w.i« my banana you slipped on!” Poet—Sav. bov. is the editor engaged? Bcv—I can’t say for sure, but they all tease him about it. Fond Mother—Ah! now you’re my little man WM:e f:n lone trousers)—And now. ma. can’t I call Dad Harrv? The deacon was passing the hat when Blobbs woke up. Blobbs looked stupidly at it for a second and said. Nope, t'ain’t mine. Do you ever have ringing sounds in your cars? Surely. I’m a telephone girl. He—Do you think absence makes the heart grow fonder? She—I don’t know, try it and sec. Say. Bill. I see our friend Doc has an auto. That so? Couldn't kill 'em quick enough, eh? Mrs.—Do you believe in vaccination? Neightbor—I surely do. It kept your daughter from playing the piano. Beautiful weather we're having, eh? I don't know. 1 haven't been out for fifteen minutes. Teacher in geography class— What causes the daily revolutions of the earth?” Willie— The bolsheviks, ma’am.” Did you know Mrs. Jones has the flu and not expected to live? No. how did she catch cold? She got her feet wet trying to find a place where rubbers were cheapest. Bing—They say electricity is life. Bang—Well, it isn’t at Sing Sing. Aunty must be awful careless, leaving her things about. Mamma said she’s got to go clear to California for her lungs. UP TO DATE Photographer— Watch, and you'll see a pretty little dicky bird come out.” Modern Child— Oh. don’t be silly—expose your plate and let’s get this over!” I have only just a minute. Only sixty seconds in it. Forced upon me—can’t refuse it Didn’t seek it. didn’t choose it. But it’s up to me to use it. I must suffer if I lose it. Give account if 1 abuse it. Just a tiny little minute— But a lesson might be in it. To those who talk and talk and talk This proverb should appeal. The steam that blows the whistle Will never turn the wheel. Young mother—John, for goodness sake take that knife out of baby's mouth. Father—Never mind, he’s cutting teeth.

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JUNE. 1925 41 VERY SHOCKING. INDEED The nice old lady dropped into the office just as the editor cried out regarding the story that was denied. Kill it: kill it! Hurriedly beating a retreat, she exclaimed in horror. Goodness gracious! I've often heard of a newspaper morgue, but I never knew you killed folks to put in it. TELL IT TO THE MARINES The wife and daughter of Lieutenant Berrie of the Great Lakes naval training station, approaching a gate to tin station were halted by a sentry on duty there who had orders to let no one enter by that gate. Sorry, but you'll have to go around to the main gate. Oh. but we re the Berries. Lady. I don't care if you're the cat’s meeow. you can't go through this gate. FOUND: A WISE FATHER Teacher— Now. Johnny, what would your father pay if he owed the baker two dollars, the butcher fifteen dollars, the milkman- ---” lohnny— Nothin'. Miss, he'd move. A SUGGESTION TO A FUTURE THESPIAN First Actor— I’m getting on. Somebody has now named a cigar after me. Second Actor— I hope it draws better than you do. ADVANCED MATH How many apples did Adam and Eve eat? They say Eve ate (8) and Adam too (2). That would be a total of ten only. Now we figure the thing out differently, and thus: Eve ate (8) and Adam ate (8) also—total, sixteen. But are not these figures entirely wrong? If Eve ate (8) and Adam ate too (82). certainly the total was ninety. Scientific men. however, on the strength of the theory that the antediluvians were giants, reason something like this: Eve ate one (81) and Adam ate too (82)—total. 163. Wrong again. It is very dear that if Eve ate one (81). and Adam ate one too (812). the total was 893.—Baptist Student. FINAL BRAIN TEASER Well, here I am again. Students, and I have just as much pep and zest as ever. This. I am sorry to hear, is to be my final appearance, as my author is a 9A. It is quite a while since my debut and many of you have said complimentary things about me as you passed from class to class, I hear. However. I have tried my best to amuse you and I leave feeling that I have accomplished something. This final Teaser is worthy of its name! It consists of the names of twenty states, the letters mixed so that the first column reading down the page spells. ‘GRADUATION CLASS ISSUE.” 1. G ORENO 11. C INSONSIW 2. R OLACODO 12. L ABAMAA 3. A ONRAZI 13. A SYLVIANPENN 4. D OTAKA 14. S NASKA 5. U TENKKYC 15. S INNEMATO 6. A NVEAD 16. I HOO 7. T UAH 17. S OANIAILU 8. I MSPIPSSISI 18. S ILLOINI 9. O SURISIM 19. U STOH ANILOCAR 10. N IGYWOM 20. E NW KORY Good-bye. folks. T he Famous Brain Teaser Signing off. ANSWERS TO LAST TEASER 1. Minneapolis 8. Detroit 15. Atlanta 2. Indianapolis 9. St. Louis 16. Nashville 3. New York 10. San Francisco 17. Bismarck 4. Boston 11. Salt Lake City 18. Spokane 5. Cleveland 12. Milwaukee 19. Hartford 6. Miami 13. Chicago 20. Buffalo 7. St. Paul 14. Washington