Bryant Junior High School - Junior Life Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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38 JUNIOR LIFE RIB BUSTERS UBIQUITOUS AMERICANS A group of tourists were looking over the inferno of Vesuvius in full eruption. Ain't this just like hell? ejaculated a Yank. Ah. zesc Americains. exclaimed a Frenchman. where have zey not been? —Bursts and Duds. LOST ON THE COUNT Mother: How many times have I told you to count 100 before fighting? Charles: That's what I did. but the other fellow's mother told him to count only ten. Said a lady to her husband. My dear, arc you quite comfortable in that corner? Quite, thank you. my dear. Are you sure there is plenty of room for your feet? Quite sure, love.” And no cold air from the window on your head?” Not a particle. darling. Then, my dear. I will change places with you!” A clergyman who was consoling a young widow upon the death of her husband, spoke in a very serious tone, remarking that he was one of the few. you cannot find his equal, you know.” To which the sobb:ng fair one replied, with an almost broken heart. “I don't know, but I'll try. NOW FRED. BE YOURSELF! Fred (in a hurry) : Operator, give me Grand 22 double 2! Operator: Grand 2222. Fred: Yes. and hurry. I'll play train with you some other time. NOT A LOCAL ICEBERG A nervous passenger approached the captain timidly. What would happen, sir.” she asked, if we struck a large iceberg? The iceberg would pass along as if nothing had happened. replied the captain. And the old lady was very much relieved. Scene—A cozy parlor, with dim burning lamp. Two persons sitting dose together on a couch—a man and a maid, of course. Suddenly the youth's ardor took a painful form. He burst into verse sighing: You are gladness, you are sunshine. You are happiness I trow: You are all to me. my darling. That is lovely here below. Not to be outdone, the fair damsel whispered : You are splendor, you are glory. You arc handsome, you are true: All there is this side of heaven I behold, my love, in you!” Raptures! But suddenly a gruff voice broke in on their bliss, as father said sternly from the doorway: I am lightning. I am thunder. I'm a roaring cataract: I am earthquakes and volcanoes. And I'll demonstrate the fact. And he proceeded to do so.—W. E. THE WILY WEED I have walked in summer meadows Where the sunbeams flashed and broke. But I never saw the cattle nor the Sheep nor horses smoke. I have watched the bird with wonder. When the world with dew is wet. But I never saw a robin puffing at A cigarette. I I have fished in many a river. When the sucker crop was ripe. But I never saw a catfish puffing at A briar pipe. Man's the only living creature that Parades this vale of tears. Like a blooming traction engine. Puffing smoke from nose and ears. If Dame Nature had intended, when She first invented man. that he'd smoke. She would have built him on a Widely different plan. She'd have fixed him with a stove-pipe. And a damper and a grate. And he'd had a smoke consumer that Was stri-'lly up to date.

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JUNE. 1925 37 EXCHANGES EXCHANGES We wish to acknowledge the receipt of the following school papers from various parts of the country. The first magazine that we pick up is: “The Rail-Splitter,” from the Lincoln Junior High School, Youngstown, Ohio. Their covers are always so attractive but the inner pages are even more so The next magazine is “The Amateur Reporter.” which is from Central Jr. High School. Charleston. West Virginia. Their magazine is very interesting and in their April issue the articles on April Fool were certainly en joyed. We wonder if an exchange column might not add to its assets. “The Parrish Periscope.” published by J. L. Parrish Junior High School of Salem. Oregon, is a newspaper, and it certainly is newsy. They have a very attractive name. Another paper is “The Junior Life.” which comes from the Ben Blewett Junior High School. St. Louis. Missouri. This paper arranges some of its articles very uniquely. “The Bloom School Journal” of the Lafayere Bloom Junior High School sent us another issue of its monthly pubbenion from our close neighbor. Cincinnati. Ohio. Thev have been most faithful in this respe't. If this paper is a representation of the '■o-operation between pupils, faculty and staff, then theirs must certainly be a model school. Editor. ORrCfNA! I. fM FRICKS A cabbage once turned inside out 'T'o let th? bugs run round about. But they went back inside. ’Twas a good place to h dc. P.ut .he cabbage made poor sauerkraut. A miss'onary by the name of Hannibal. S.t cut to get him a nice burly Cannibal, r-t the Door old goop. V 5 turned nto soup: You see. Hannibal has run into Cannibal. A boy by the name of Rooky. Cnee from his school did play hooky. went to Aunt Rondout. o g t a b'» handout: But all that he got was a cooky. here was once an icc-man named Smones, Who one day met a friend named Jones. He traded some ice. For a oair of dice: i c ’. v V. . - n s. A boy to Bryant once strayed, n ’ rm led as h? noisily brayed. A wide-awake school Is no place for a fool: Then our Jan tor said: “Please stand up wh le I sw.ep under ycur feci!” A Fr.:h:nan bv th: name of l.oone. Si IcJ ever th; vi lag? of Boon;: FI is a:rplan: crashed down Cn I tt!? o ! town Atti Loo.ie got in Boon: mu h too soon. There was once a clown called O'Toole. Who smiled as h: rode on h s mule: He came back from h? ride Minus cons derable hide AnJ the haw haw welled up from the mule A seedy old man named Runky. Cnee looked at the face of a monkey: T hen he let out a gasp. As he looked in the glass. . . : i: ' i : r ' ■ o r 1 ?’

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JUNE. 1925 39 SOME GETTING Jim: How is your radio. Joe? Joe: Why I got Italy so loud last night I could pick spaghetti off the aerial. A Brvant Junior: What did you do to your hair. Miss Farnam? Miss Farnam: Oh. cut it out! Is this a healthy town? asked a Chicago man of a native of a certain benighted region of the west. It sure is. replied the native. When I came here. I hadn't the strength to utter a word: I had scarcely a hair on my head: I couldn’t walk across the room, and I had to be lifted from my bed! That’s wonderful! exclaimed the innocent from Chicago. How long have you been here? I was born here. —Farm Life. Tramp: Your dog just bit a piece of flesh out of my leg. mum. Woman: Glad you mentioned it. I was just going to feed him. —Nabor News. There were three men: an Englishman. Frenchman, and an Irishman. They were arguing about which of their trains can go the fastest. The Englishman said: Our trains go so fast that the trees along the way. all look like a solid row of shrubbery. That’s nothing. said the Frenchman, Ours go so fast thit the telephone poles lo A like one great big wall. Then it was t;me for the Irishman to speak. He had been think:ng for some time and now he spoke up. Say. do you know how fast our trains travel? They go so fast that when they go past gardens of carrots, cabbages, onions, rutabagas and lakes they all look like soup! MIRACULOUS AIR Visitor: So you really think Yarmouth is a healthy place? Native: Healthy? Why we cure her- r-ngs here after they’re dead!—London Tit-Bits. THAT’S DIFFERENT The old gentleman met the ground w th a thud. A small boy who was watching burs into tears. Don’t cry. little man said the old gentleman. I’m not very much hurt’ “No. wh;rrpercd the youngster, but it w.i« my banana you slipped on!” Poet—Sav. bov. is the editor engaged? Bcv—I can’t say for sure, but they all tease him about it. Fond Mother—Ah! now you’re my little man WM:e f:n lone trousers)—And now. ma. can’t I call Dad Harrv? The deacon was passing the hat when Blobbs woke up. Blobbs looked stupidly at it for a second and said. Nope, t'ain’t mine. Do you ever have ringing sounds in your cars? Surely. I’m a telephone girl. He—Do you think absence makes the heart grow fonder? She—I don’t know, try it and sec. Say. Bill. I see our friend Doc has an auto. That so? Couldn't kill 'em quick enough, eh? Mrs.—Do you believe in vaccination? Neightbor—I surely do. It kept your daughter from playing the piano. Beautiful weather we're having, eh? I don't know. 1 haven't been out for fifteen minutes. Teacher in geography class— What causes the daily revolutions of the earth?” Willie— The bolsheviks, ma’am.” Did you know Mrs. Jones has the flu and not expected to live? No. how did she catch cold? She got her feet wet trying to find a place where rubbers were cheapest. Bing—They say electricity is life. Bang—Well, it isn’t at Sing Sing. Aunty must be awful careless, leaving her things about. Mamma said she’s got to go clear to California for her lungs. UP TO DATE Photographer— Watch, and you'll see a pretty little dicky bird come out.” Modern Child— Oh. don’t be silly—expose your plate and let’s get this over!” I have only just a minute. Only sixty seconds in it. Forced upon me—can’t refuse it Didn’t seek it. didn’t choose it. But it’s up to me to use it. I must suffer if I lose it. Give account if 1 abuse it. Just a tiny little minute— But a lesson might be in it. To those who talk and talk and talk This proverb should appeal. The steam that blows the whistle Will never turn the wheel. Young mother—John, for goodness sake take that knife out of baby's mouth. Father—Never mind, he’s cutting teeth.