Browns Valley High School - Thunderbird Yearbook (Browns Valley, MN)

Page 13 text:

CLASS PROPHECY IN THIS CORNER WITH SHRADROCK ADAMS I flew down to Browns Valley yesterday to take in the gigantic homecoming celebration. As you all know, the Thunderbirds won the 1971 state basketball championship. And believe it or not, the entire class of 1951 was present to join in the festivities. No doubt all of you re- member the notorious “Fightin’ Fiends of '51.99 How could you forget? People in the news today include Professor Layton Kinney, the latest sensation of scien- tific circles. The Professor, better known as “The Question,” is attempting to prove the theory of evolution in his claim that Fred Klodt is definitely “the missing link!” Mr. Klodt has as yet made no comment on the situation. “Slim Jim” Olson, famous rodeo rider, is now starting his world tour. Of course, he is bringing along his inseparable companion, Brown-Nose — the smartest horse in television. What cheese is to crackers, what ham is to eggs, Brown-Nose is to Olson! Norma Lubbers, private secretary to Jack Jarka, National Superintendent of Schools, issued a statement to the Press that Mr. Jarka is now ready to resume his duties after his recovery from a recent mental collapse. Notice from the Missing Persons Bureau: Sylvia Nye, Hollywood bathing suit designer, has mysteriously disappeared. It is believed Miss Nye has gone into seclusion on some lonely South Dakota hill after another of her widely-pub- licized unhappy love affairs. Milton Kaufman, better known to movie fans as Pyrone Tower, just quit 20th Century Fox. He tore up his contract after learning that his new leading lady was Lassie. Into every life a little rain must fall: Marvin Hornstein is now returning to the U. S. after mak- ing a fortune prospecting for oil in Stankistan. “The Shiek” is trying to sue immigration offi- cials because they will not allow him to bring his wife into the country---all 26 of theml Phyllis Phelon, woman lion tamer, is divorcing her latest husband, General Maidbucket, whom she met on a recent USO tour. Phyllis charges him with “extreme mental cruelty” as he kept tying knots in the tail of Clyde, her pet panther. A farmer on Lake Traverse, VerDean Tobeck, is believed to have found one of the largest uranium deposits in America. VerDean said he did not catch on until his radioactive cows started giving milk that proved to be 87% butterfat. John Moeller, game warden for the Peever Slough district, is credited with breaking ud the notorious gang. Poachers Inc. “Muskrat” failed to capture the ringleader, though. “The leader of this gang is unknown.” (Quote from J. Moel- ler.) Elsie Grimli, who writes a “homemaking helps” column for this newspaper, has just pub- lished her first book---“How to Blacksmith in Ten Easy Lessons.” Darrell Thomas is now starting production on the revolutionary new car he has designed. He calls it the “Sadillac.” Its engine is hidden in the glove compartment and it has another set of controls in the back for passengers who are back seat drivers. Here’s a letter I got in the mail today: Dear Shadrock, Please come, as honorary guest, to the “Hoboes of America” convention to be held to- night in St. Louis Park in the form of an outdoor bean supper. Bring along your own can opener. --- (signed) Robert Reisdorf, President. Marietta Piechowski, the human pretzel, was hired by Barnum Bailey as its first woman contortionist. Marietta is featured as “the girl with a million bends.” Rumor has it that Phillip Phelon, owner of the Santa Anita racetrack, is trying to buy the Metro- politan Opera House. He plans to turn it into a pool hall----complete with television. James Madison was severely injured today during the third race at the Indianapolis Speedway. A piston flew out of his hot rod and fractured his skull. It is feared they may have to amputate Jim’s brain. DeeLoris Raw, “der editor” of Esquire mag- azine announces that she is planning to make an important change in future publications. The covers will be blank without the usual illustra- tions so that people will not know what they are reading. Bernice Piechowski, yodeller with the Spike Bone’s Orchestra has given up her hobby of motorcycle riding. Miss Piechowski suffered a facial injury recently when she caught her nose in the transmission gears in a fall off a cliff. Ber- nice stated she plans to devote more time to her husband and chicken ranch. Coach for Minnesota’s only girl basketball team, the Gopherettes, is very optimistic about this year's team. Coach Keith Deyo’s team is unbeaten, untied, and unscored upon. ------Tomor- row they play their first game. Marvin’s Tavern is now ready for its grand opening. It looks as if this will be one of the snowplaces of the Sisseton area. Marvin was out of town right now, but his wife the former Rita Roerig, stated that the grand opening will be held next Saturday night. Wayne Sauer nas just secured permission from the President to sell popcorn during the United Nations assemblies at Lake Success. PatSpotts, radio star of “John’s Other Brother- in-law” has bought half-interest in “Miracle Pictures, Inc.” You know their motto------If it’s good, it’s a Miracle! By the way, folks-------just a reminder that Gary Jacobsen, noted comedian, will be guest speaker at a program tomorrow night sponsored by the local chapter of Alcholics .Anonymous. 9

Page 12 text:

CLASS WILL We, the senior cluss of 1951, being of sound mind and sounder body, do hereby de- clare our last will and testament on this day of May 25, the year of our Lord nineteen hun- dred and fifty-one. Article I — Class IVesident Layton Kinney leaves his jet-propelled car to Rodey Ewald in the hope that he will use his best judgment when driving it. Article II — Murietta Picchowski leaves her collection of A.B.C. gum (Already Been Chewed) to Marlys Plant and Curmcn Bretzke with the condition that it is replaced on the bottom of her desk. Article III — Dee Loris Haw leaves her ability to eat chicken at u banquet to Shirley Schiefelbein und Betty Fogel. (Don’t be pigs, girls!) Article IV — Robert Hcisdorf leuves his abil- ity to grow 8 feet tall to Gary Dcspieg- lcr on condition that he doesn’t let it go to his head. Article V — James Madison leaves his good times in Sisscton to Gary Christensen and Blair Piechowski, but as for Jean- ette, well, you gottu do your own hunt- ing, boys. Article VI — Marvin liornstein wills his recipe for ’’Getting Along With Teachers and Loving It” to Harry Ziemer and Helen Heed. Use it wisely, kids. Article VII — Milton Kaufman leaves his abil- ity to get along with the weaker sex to Donald Goodhart. Article VIII - To Jordan Larson, Fred Klodt leaves his dashing, virile, manly good looks in hope that he makes better use of them than Fred did. Article IX — Hita Hocrig leaves her many fas- cinating letters to Marian Pitzcl on the condition that Marian burn them before she reads them. Article X — Bernice Piechowski leaves to Shirley Westman her ability to dance with fellows who are three feet tall by getting down on her knees, providing that it will not deform Shirley in any way. Article XI— Phyllis Phelon wills to her sister Susan her ability to hate men and love it on the condition that she uphold her sister’s splendid record. Article XII — Ver Dean Tobeck leaves his ability to blush easily to Jack Baer providing Jack doesn’t use it too often. Article XIII — Sylvia Nye leaves her liking for “La Verns” to Virginiu Madison pro- viding she doesn’t spend all her time there. Article XIV — Norma Lubbers leaves her abil- ity to snag ulI the boys to Arlync Pie- chowski and Myrtle Kaufman providing they leave her at least one. Article XV — Gary Jacobsen bequeaths his ability to be a model farmer to Put Hess. Article XVI — Jack Jarku wills his spurkling giggle to Dorlys Labs. Be cureful, Darlys, it spells trouble. Article XVII — Wayne Sauer leaves to Mike Holland his ability to hang out of the assembly window by his toes, (steady.) Article XVIII — Jumes Olson bequeuths his love for game wardens to Shirley Zie- mer in hope that she doesn’t get hooked. Article XIX — Keith Deyo leuves to Ardis Thomus his ability to play footbull on condition that she makes a tackle. (Not Sonney Johnson.) Article XX — Elsie Grimli leaves her ability to love the color “Red” to Leona Smith, but not Heinhold, Leona! She has a priority on him. Article XXI — Put Spotts wills his wuvy hair to Bethel Judish on condition that she put it up every night us he did. Article XXII — Phillip Phelon regrets that he cannot leave anything to anyone be- cause he intends to take it all with him where he’s going. Article XXIII — John Moeller leuves his quiet, bashful manner to David Peickert and Elaine Pistorius. Use John as a model. Article XXIV — To the janitors we leave any- thing that is beyond repair. Also the gum stuck under the desk and on ceil- ing® Article XXV — To the cooks we will the bread crusts left lying in the termite holes in the hot lunch room. Article XXVI — To the teachers we leave the memory of the well behaved senior class of 1951. We take with us the memories of quiet social problems clusses, nights at Abbie’s, trips to Sisseton, and the sound of our patter- ing feet as we rumble into the assem- bly two minutes lute at noon. Article XXVII — To everyone else we leave a wish for better duys, better classes, and good luck in the future. Signed und sealed this twenty-fifth duy of May, nineteen hundred and fifty-one and our signatures uffixed hereto. 'ii

Page 14 text:

RITA ROERIG SYLVIA NYE MARIETTA PIECHOWSKI PHYLLIS AND PHILLIP PHELON SENIOR ELSIE GRIMLI NORMA LUBBERS PICTURES BABY 10