Brown University - Liber Brunensis Yearbook (Providence, RI)

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the grades follow. I know my goal now and can clearly see what is necessary to achieve it. I'm slowly formulating my Ffuture direction but am enjoying not being in the pressured position of a senior. Being with seniors has helped me focus in on realities without waiting to graduate In previous years, felt that I was part of a tight male clique. This year two of my best friends are abroad and the others live on the opposite side of campus. This situation makes me more independent at the price of being lonely sometimes. I don't expect to make friends as quickly as I did; I don't categorize people as much as I used to, and I'm more open to different kinds of people. Brown is less homogenous student-wise than I originally thought it was. I'm part of my freshman floor still. The Mutants, about twelve strong, still keep together when they can. We're still together playing softball and we still have our trivia team. I'm a junior and I still don't have a girlfriend. But I'm pretty shy. I see past friends now and then, but it's a pretty small group. Others, I just never get around to dropping in on them nor do they. Life has calmed down quite a bit. But at the same time, it has gotten better, for I'm more conscious now of all the options I have. I'm more realistic now- Brown is no longer 'the great liberal institution of the East' I once thought it was. The abundance of upper middle class whites has made me despise private institutions like this. Otherwise, I'm continually impressed by the professors and the dynamic personalities I've met here. 29

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28 JUNIOR SURVEY The major difference is having a single! It's fantastic to have a place to retreat to, where you can always do what you want. You don't have to worry if your room- mate is studying, sleeping, or watching T.V.. Your room is really your castle. You can go to rot freely with- out trying to be nice to your roommate! And when the phone rings, you know it's for you! In a dorm where everyone basically has their own single, there's a tendency to develop territorial feelings and it's harder to get close to new people. For the first time, I have a single this year. The privacy I have wanted the past two years is at last mine. It's a great feeling to do whatever the hell I want to now. That's true especially because of my girlfriend. Perhaps there is one difference in relationships with people in the House: while my large double was a popular place last year, it's hard to entertain in a small single. This year's floor is pretty quiet. Last year and especially freshman year everyone kept their doors open and talked to you. A conversation now consists of a brisk 'good morning' as you're stepping into the shower. I guess everyone just wants to be left alone. My only regret about being off a meal contract is not seeing certain acquaintances as often but I find that the advantages good food are substantial. It was good to have company in a double, but by this year, I really needed my own room. Having my single makes me feel like much more of an individual. feel that I have become a bit more serious in terms of life devoted to work but I put less emphasis on actual grades. Lately I'm feeling pre-professional pressure, figuring out GPA's, etc. Very sad. At the same time I'd like to take a lot more courses since . . . know I can do the work, but I don't want grade pressures always hovering over me. Juniors and seniors are a hell of a lot less hysterical concerning grades. High school is two long years in the past and enough tests and papers have come and gone to enable one to get used to that 'I'm not the brightest thing around' realization. The natural extension of this becomes so what? and passing decently is the priority, not passing with flying colors. I still want to do well academically but realize that if something is not due on time it is not the end of the world- neither is doing poorly on a paper or exam. I feel much more confident about going to talk to professors about course work or questions- was rather intimidated in this manner freshman year. At the same time, I'm more realistic- the fun and games are over. The quantity of work has increased. Upper level courses prove more demanding in the areas I am taking. A realization that the time to make important decisions about future and career is nearing and the pressure is building to decide-i.e. possibility of med school or other fields. I am not as afraid to have a heavy workload and I'm not as interested in taking a course just because it's a gut. Knowing that I only have two years left makes me feel like I better make the most of it course-wise. I'm much more confident. I am not so intimidated by other people who seem to be so much smarter than me. I still panic and get nervous over my work at times but now I know that I can do it and it will get done. Freshman year, profs passed everyone who knew which end of the pencil to hold. My work load continues to be heavy. However my study habits are more refined so I have time to spend less time completing assignments. I am not satisfied with receiving an 'S after working my ass off on a course, I now take all my courses for a grade . . . . Generally, the quality of my workload is quite good- the material of courses gets better as the level gets highter. My attitude towards academics has changed in that now I see my courses in terms of the life ahead of me. They all relate in one way or another to the future world I will occupy. Rather than seeing a course as a 12 week venture, I now view it as an application to be used later. This semester I have a heavy courseload. I take almost all of my courses for a grade because I feel that grades will be important to future plans of grad school or jobs. Freshman year, I had an idealistic belief that I was studying for the sake of learning and that grades weren't important. I assumed that good grades would follow as it did with many of my friends who had this same belief. However, this approach didn't work for me. While I was studying for the sake of learning as much as possible, other students were studying for tests and were doing much better in terms of grades. Ideally, I would take all my courses SNC and would do work for the sake of learning and still have time for having fun outside of schoolwork. Unfortunately, this is inconsistent with the 'real world. Working is pretty rough. I think I now know what Icanand can tdo and what's reasonable for me to expect 1 take academics much more seriously now. Not like when it wasn't a matter of understanding but simply getting good grades. Now fight to understand and hope

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30 SENIOR SURVEY My vision of Brown has changed numerous times, I loved Brown freshman year, hated it sophomore year and as a result attended another school first semester junior year, loved it once again second semester junior year and now I tolerate it. This is not to say that I am unhappy here, on the contrary, being this near to my close friends is ideal. On the other hand I'm quite restless and would like to really sink my teeth into a career. Off campus is wonderful except I miss the general hubbub of dorms, not too much though . .. I'm more specialized now in both academic and social circles. I live off campus this year and love it . . . you don't feel cooped up and can enjoy most of the comforts of home . . . . The only disadvantage is isolation, but I'd rather look at it this way: now I can ask people over N YoURELEEYE uly FOUR YEARS Aqo O WE WERE ALl ERESHUEN ! and see them in a comfortable setting when I want to . . . and during the other times I can enjoy privacy. Although living off campus tends to remove me from the Brown community, it lets me really concentrate on my studies. I have narrowed my circle of friends to just a few close ones through my distance, and I like it better this way. What I cherish most in my relationships at Brown is the vast network of casual acquaintances that spreads everywhere before me: people whom I lived near at one time, people encountered in various classes, people introduced at parties, bumped into on the street, etc. And of course there is the constant shift and flux of acquaintances to friends, and vice versa . . . it gives me a sense of belonging, without the after effects of suffocation. If 1 could figure out who my close friends' really are, I'd be glad to tell you. Hate to sound bitter, but I'm serious. The large majority of my male friends were people I met first semester freshman year. I consider myself very lucky in having landed amongst people whom I still consider cream. Of course, certain elements of sour milk have siphoned off along the way. My close friends are from Morriss Champlin, Emery Woolley from freshman year: lived in Champlin. also have good friends who met at parties Delta Phi Omega is the only Frat 1 like, through activities the frisbee team is a valuable part of this university and also in classes there are some nice, non-nurd engineers. My closest Friends some of them are from freshman year dorm, believe it or not. I guess the one thing that stands out is my growing love for Providence. In my opinion, this is a great place to go to school, which comes a long way from the high school student who thought Brown would be OK, but Providence . . . Some of the attractions: the East Side is lovely, Fox Point is a great neighborhood, the music scene is fantastic, great location, lovely parks and beaches, crazy architecture, crazier drivers, many printing presses, the jewelry, 'Buddy, Raymond and god-sons, I like it all. I could definitely see living here for awhile. One gets the sense of increased interaction with the Providence community by living off campus, but I would say this is largely illusory. We are still students and off in our respective clouds. As for the community, I still don't feel involved, but by just doing simple everyday things like grocery shopping, or saying Hi! to the old ladies who live next door, I feel like I'm a wee bit more exposed to the East Side and vice versa. My involvement with organized activities fluctuates highly. T have been the circuit: from concerned, mellow student representative, to lunatic-fringe anarchist scoff- all; from lacrosse player to frisbee enthusiast; from sure, lets do it to mo not tonight T call you next week ' last semester Spring. 770 my main leisure activities were listening to VERY loud rock' n roll, dreaming up GISP projects, ping-pong and going to patties where 1 ran inlo just everybody, dahling Ihis year 1 slateboard, play hockey, play saxophone, write angry letters, read poetry. l spend most of my leisure time smoking pot with fricnd: Once in awhile we do omething culural None of us seem to have enough time to relax. What leisure time? Brown is a place for the self-motivated student who already has a fairly clear conception of what he wants out of this place This would ceem to be eacily had for say the pre-med pre-anything who needs only to plug into and plug along with existing and required paths. But for those of us who are vague, undecided or simply confused about our educational needs, we are in trouble. Unfortunately it has taken me three years here to be able to intelligently choose courses and professors to catch on to a few mentor-types of teachers and discard my anonymity as a Brown student. Counseling is certainly available, but it is the student that always initiates it. Unfortunately, 1 think the more reticent unaggressive students often misc out on counseling It is a helpful thing, and perhaps sught to be encouraged more em- phatically, especially for freshmen and sophomores.