Brown University - Liber Brunensis Yearbook (Providence, RI)

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28 JUNIOR SURVEY The major difference is having a single! It's fantastic to have a place to retreat to, where you can always do what you want. You don't have to worry if your room- mate is studying, sleeping, or watching T.V.. Your room is really your castle. You can go to rot freely with- out trying to be nice to your roommate! And when the phone rings, you know it's for you! In a dorm where everyone basically has their own single, there's a tendency to develop territorial feelings and it's harder to get close to new people. For the first time, I have a single this year. The privacy I have wanted the past two years is at last mine. It's a great feeling to do whatever the hell I want to now. That's true especially because of my girlfriend. Perhaps there is one difference in relationships with people in the House: while my large double was a popular place last year, it's hard to entertain in a small single. This year's floor is pretty quiet. Last year and especially freshman year everyone kept their doors open and talked to you. A conversation now consists of a brisk 'good morning' as you're stepping into the shower. I guess everyone just wants to be left alone. My only regret about being off a meal contract is not seeing certain acquaintances as often but I find that the advantages good food are substantial. It was good to have company in a double, but by this year, I really needed my own room. Having my single makes me feel like much more of an individual. feel that I have become a bit more serious in terms of life devoted to work but I put less emphasis on actual grades. Lately I'm feeling pre-professional pressure, figuring out GPA's, etc. Very sad. At the same time I'd like to take a lot more courses since . . . know I can do the work, but I don't want grade pressures always hovering over me. Juniors and seniors are a hell of a lot less hysterical concerning grades. High school is two long years in the past and enough tests and papers have come and gone to enable one to get used to that 'I'm not the brightest thing around' realization. The natural extension of this becomes so what? and passing decently is the priority, not passing with flying colors. I still want to do well academically but realize that if something is not due on time it is not the end of the world- neither is doing poorly on a paper or exam. I feel much more confident about going to talk to professors about course work or questions- was rather intimidated in this manner freshman year. At the same time, I'm more realistic- the fun and games are over. The quantity of work has increased. Upper level courses prove more demanding in the areas I am taking. A realization that the time to make important decisions about future and career is nearing and the pressure is building to decide-i.e. possibility of med school or other fields. I am not as afraid to have a heavy workload and I'm not as interested in taking a course just because it's a gut. Knowing that I only have two years left makes me feel like I better make the most of it course-wise. I'm much more confident. I am not so intimidated by other people who seem to be so much smarter than me. I still panic and get nervous over my work at times but now I know that I can do it and it will get done. Freshman year, profs passed everyone who knew which end of the pencil to hold. My work load continues to be heavy. However my study habits are more refined so I have time to spend less time completing assignments. I am not satisfied with receiving an 'S after working my ass off on a course, I now take all my courses for a grade . . . . Generally, the quality of my workload is quite good- the material of courses gets better as the level gets highter. My attitude towards academics has changed in that now I see my courses in terms of the life ahead of me. They all relate in one way or another to the future world I will occupy. Rather than seeing a course as a 12 week venture, I now view it as an application to be used later. This semester I have a heavy courseload. I take almost all of my courses for a grade because I feel that grades will be important to future plans of grad school or jobs. Freshman year, I had an idealistic belief that I was studying for the sake of learning and that grades weren't important. I assumed that good grades would follow as it did with many of my friends who had this same belief. However, this approach didn't work for me. While I was studying for the sake of learning as much as possible, other students were studying for tests and were doing much better in terms of grades. Ideally, I would take all my courses SNC and would do work for the sake of learning and still have time for having fun outside of schoolwork. Unfortunately, this is inconsistent with the 'real world. Working is pretty rough. I think I now know what Icanand can tdo and what's reasonable for me to expect 1 take academics much more seriously now. Not like when it wasn't a matter of understanding but simply getting good grades. Now fight to understand and hope

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This year, largely because of my course load, my social life has not been as active as last year. 1 do feel that I have more close friends this year, even though I go out less often Last year, living in Perkins, my entire social life was in the dorm. This year, I am in a cluster and my clustermates are becoming more and more like family. Therefore, I am meeting few new people in the dorm. I find that living in a frat provides for more diversions. Socially, I am more reclusive and less tolerant of bullshit. There are many cliques around that I find to be superficial, giddy support groups. Last year I used to go out with a group of friends and now I go out with one really special person. It's so much better! I don't do things with big groups of people as often. I also haven't met as many people this year. My dorm social life is non-existent this year. I find myself drinking less, seeing fewer females but having more sex. I don't feel as much like I have to do something on Saturday nights. I'm happy just to talk to friends, etc. I never go to frat parties if I can avoid it. I went a few times last year. Basically 1 do more what I want to do rather than just following what my friends are doing. The people I was friendly with my freshman year are living in various spots instead of all together. I have made many new friends. I have trouble accounting for my leisure time.I must spend a lot of it day dreaming. There are some things I'd ke e cle, lout - - Most of the time, I'm worrying about my work if I'm not doing it. I'm a member of the Chorus and I love it. It gives me something organized to do other than academics. My leisure time is not a distinct entity from my schoolwork time. I'm not organized enough. It's never quite clear to me what time I'm on, so I just mess around whenever I feel like it. Also, some of my courses coincide with my personal interests so the distinction becomes even foggier. My messing around includes reading, talking with friends, needlepointing, going out for a drink or dinner, an occasional getting-high, and a good several hours a week of staring at the wall. There ain't nothing like staring at the wall l spend my spare time socializing with friends, goofing off, and engaging in unorganized and very sporadic athletic activity. What leisure time? The fact is, I don't have very much leisure time. I find myself constantly working, for I have a very important goal to accomplish: going to medical school. l spend some time socializing and participating in political or social change oriented groups. I spend ten to twelve hours a week working in South Providence with a community organizing group and some time working at the Resource Center. l spend my free time with my girl friend, exercising, or both. I don't have that much leisure time' because I've usually wasted it before I get it. The understanding that I have gained through 'the changes has been great though I am not always happy with what I find myself understanding. My impression of Brown has changed for the better. Courses are more inspiring than I imagined they could be. I like Brown slightly better this year, because my room and courses are better and there seems to be some possibility of finding a regular ping-pong game. I have relatively few complaints against Brown. It's my fault that I dont like this place, not the school's. At first, I was overwhelmed by the whole idea of being in college. I now understand that there are some negative aspects to Brown. There is a pervasive disregard for learning on the part of the students here. tiring of the sterility of the academic environment. I don't enjoy working as hard as I am now and as I did last year. But I look at it this way: in the end, it will most likely be worth it. I have a hard time dealing with people's pseudo- intellectualism, their selfish values and pre-profes- sionalism. My tolerance of many of the people at Brown has decreased. I can, however, be optimistic about the place and system in terms of getting what I want. T a2

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the grades follow. I know my goal now and can clearly see what is necessary to achieve it. I'm slowly formulating my Ffuture direction but am enjoying not being in the pressured position of a senior. Being with seniors has helped me focus in on realities without waiting to graduate In previous years, felt that I was part of a tight male clique. This year two of my best friends are abroad and the others live on the opposite side of campus. This situation makes me more independent at the price of being lonely sometimes. I don't expect to make friends as quickly as I did; I don't categorize people as much as I used to, and I'm more open to different kinds of people. Brown is less homogenous student-wise than I originally thought it was. I'm part of my freshman floor still. The Mutants, about twelve strong, still keep together when they can. We're still together playing softball and we still have our trivia team. I'm a junior and I still don't have a girlfriend. But I'm pretty shy. I see past friends now and then, but it's a pretty small group. Others, I just never get around to dropping in on them nor do they. Life has calmed down quite a bit. But at the same time, it has gotten better, for I'm more conscious now of all the options I have. I'm more realistic now- Brown is no longer 'the great liberal institution of the East' I once thought it was. The abundance of upper middle class whites has made me despise private institutions like this. Otherwise, I'm continually impressed by the professors and the dynamic personalities I've met here. 29