Bronx High School of Science - Observatory Yearbook (Bronx, NY)

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l Freshman year at Bronx Science was one big underchin. Little did the slaves, Ari, Zach, and Tom, or their master, Ethan, know how dangerous it was. It was the year for the boys to learn not only the underchin, and the destruction and chaos that would prevail, but also to learn about the worship of Akbar. What the hell were we doing? We were playing with forces of which we knew little-forces ol Hamud Akbar Ben Shlomo! Tom was torn between the life of Hip-Hop and the forces of Hamud Akbar Ben Shlomo. The latter ultimately prevailed. Ari tried to fight the forces. Playing with the forces made punishment inevitable and Ari was transformed into a hooligan-druggie-rapist-child mo- lester. Tom exclaimed Oh man! Zach cried The same boy who told us that he would never take drugs only 3 months earlier?-couldn't be! I said The same boy who told us that he would never cut classes? He must be bezek in the head! Yes, folks, here you have it - a good boy gone bad. tlust forthe record, boys and girls, Ari is now reformed. He has learned to join the force rather than oppose it - as all of us have.i Meanwhile, Zach told us of his antics and assured us he would be getting a moped. With this moped, Zach explained, he would drive Ari and I to school everyday. It was a sure thing he told us. LIES! - Oh man - what LIES - Damn viscious lies! As for me, I was plagued with Rambo-mania and obsessed with thoughts of shooting. I was the only sane one left. Zach had been diagnosed as crazy. Tom was bezek enough and Ari, well . . . HARI! Ari hiked up to Harris for Harris for HARI 1985 where he proceeded to snif, drink, and squirt on everything. This was the year, when I listened to rap music and shopped at Wings - oh but I love it. Yes, Macha, Yes. The year ended with an exhibit of the power of the forces. Pee-like you've never seen. Dag! Black oil shot high out of the ground in a brilliant display of Hamud Akbar Ben Shlomo as he blew to lava. At first we cried but then when Zach and I received a check for 3300, we remembered the old axiom: He who laughs last will be Iaughing. For me, the money wasn't much. Bezek Inc. was bringing in so much money that I was literally rolling in it. More important was the time Zach, Ari, and myself were almost killed by a Vietnam vet. We nearly blew his finger off, so maybe his actions were iustified. Anyhow, SUCKER-HA! The slaves should have learned, but no, they persisted. They wrecked havoc in the west side, spread chaos and bezekness and instilled fear in the hearts of mothers who grew quiet, stepped aside and shielded their babies as we passed. Fagalas cried as we passed. I tried to put an end to the reckless hooliganism but Hamud Akbar Ben Shlomo was too powerful. Sophomore year was by no means the beginning of an end to bezekness. It had become evident that bezekness would last forever. Long live Hamud Ahbar Ben Shlomo. And lo, it was sophomore and mi slaves Tom, Ari and Ethan grew restless. Ari began the year clad in denim and leather, lor him it was time to get drunk every day ton the high quality 99C sauce of coursei. I know he would lie in bed at night and beg and plead and cry and wish he was Italian. The poor boy got into self-mutilation and carved demonic messages on his arm. He began to worship the pentagon, tpentagram that isi, and decided school was garbage. In other words he was well on his way to get ahead! Two of them, Ari and Tom became slaves to Queens while I myself became a slave to Video Connection fwith Tomi. Meanwhile, loe Psycho Math teacher was hitting the flipside- muttering garbeldy-good under his breath threatening yours truly with a Hell-bent meter stick and calling me a Stupid shmuck . Luckily, Ethan came to mi rescue and zapped him with an electro-shock doo-hickey-Sherman muttered something about a flock-head and told mi slave he wouldn't do fhafto a dog. ARDANAZ! At the end of this year Ari bought the GUEEE-TAR! And if they had taken more of the Walkman and looked at him funny AND said something, Ari would have taken out his knife! YES MACHA!!! lunior year ambled along and Ari Hnally GOT AHEAD tthen again, he also got the A-MOTlVATlONAL- SYNDROME and an illegitimate childi. The Mongolian Mafia was further investigated. Then there was the Meri Davis schtick- YESSSS come live over hear- NU7 Why the hell would l want to do that or go in her room taside from the fact that she was my girlfriendl. Ari met the FRENCH GODDESS OF LOVE and also with the aid of TOM THREW ME FROM A' LEDGE thereby sticking me with a shlingus. BUfthe boy got his when he busted his goites on the BUNNY SLOPE at the ski trip and then WHO WAS WEARING THE SHUNGUS of course, always wanting to get ahead he smacked me in the gulliver with a T-square, scarring me forever. ln front of Lowe's it was just a joke to Ethan but. after threatening to slice some hooligans into little nerdo pieces with Ari's knife and being pursued by 20 bat-wielding nerdo wells Tom, Ari, and I found it no laughing matter fAri could've run fasteri. We would've done more that year but Ethan had work, work, work and Tom was too busy going after 19 fcount 'emi girls. So along came senior year, and if it wasn't the biggest conjob. Everyone tells me, yes, senior year is the best. What a bunch of schmucks. Senior year is all work and all boredom. We got to know 3 brothers pretty well, and saw outside of plenty of clubs that we couIdn't get into. Ethan started going to museums and libraries by himself, Ari worked and well, he just worked. Zach finally got himself a goil around Dec. and then beame a love slave. I myself started out the year by being tossed by a sophomore and it was all downhill after that. Ari bought himself a 32,000 guitar that's very pretty and has little birds on it. Ari started his I want to be a 1 fm

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H i liifi ... Lara, Julie, Chrissy P'- - Az, Frankly Mr Shankly. . , Oooh Chrissy! lt 's HIM, What a wimp! Can they stay a little longer ma ybe? - go figure! Lets WA TCH Jane Fonda, Mattituok '86- again in '58 l 'rn tired - so am l- Let's eat! Are you going to drop the bomb or not? Yeah, picture that! Will you please call me! Remember when l told you . , l was kidding! How'd you do? l failed January - the month lull ol experiences! As to KALOl Can you play some real music? Rewind! l kid you Cheers then, to three old friends who know they'll never say goodbye! l at MM Bum U 969-19861 Tm Whxpeu Twuzul To Klang. You Daiwa fn Own Hemi And yawn Love, r'-fax flanged UA Fmvu. M, Wil Alvagx Peueubu You fu Tie Gaiden Of Owe Healdi. M Love Yew, Zoe, Umli, Jude, Mm, Aug. fy 4 l a g' 1 . V , l 4 V ,'ffx?.f.: :fl f f - ii ' ' . vfiizf-fir9ziv::Wf,gs 'M ' su Babwl i. ru page or ilu rutgir ru out sa., waz l-In Au ru LM, ...-