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Page 24 text:
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TRIVIA PAEDOGOGICA These notes come as a response to a comment by some of the students that they don ' t know what the Staff do. Let me immediately make it clear that I don ' t know what some of the Staff do! (We hear that W.T.R., when asked by a parent how many teachers worked at Brentwood, replied about half of them. ) Here, at any rate, is an attempt to show how in- teresting and diverse are the activities of my colleagues. Any resemblance to any living person will be amazing; the dead, will, of course, be instantly recognisable. Some beach bully kicking sand into the face of sun bathers will soon be in for a rude shock: ... Charles Atlas ' After ' is in the making. T.G.B. is making regular visits to the Health Centre, and is handling enormous weights on his personalised weight programme. (Jeannie, however, is still packing in the groceries from the car.) These ventures into athletic pursuits do not mean that T.G.B. is neglecting the calls of Thespis. He has recently been involved in producing ' Fragments ' , a play which proved yet again that T.G.B. ' s comedies are no laughing matter. J.Q. has had a busy year as director of ' HMS Pinafore ' and coach of the First Eight. As the cast of both en- deavours was almost identical, it was not at all unusual to hear such remarks as Bow, you must hit that top C more cleanly, and Dick Deadeye, you ' re not squaring properly. J.Q. ' s next production is to be The Gon- doliers with 8 to a gondola (9 if coxed). I.R.F. continues to play in the Malahat Stompers Jazz Band. The report that he occasionally sits in with a Rock Group is correct. That he has dyed his hair green and stuck a knitting needle through his nose is a blatant and scurrilous lie. A.H., we regret, has been sick, and absent from school for most of the summer term. We wish her speedy and complete recovery from her jaundice , which was not, incidentally, a response to Winnie Wong ' s comment that ' all Caucasians look alike. ' Pat Simmons was recently honoured by the Seattle Chamber of Commerce as the One millionth visitor to that fair city. He is now travelling to Seattle several times a week in hopes of being similarly received as the two millionth. We are pleased to welcome Jennifer Charlotte MacLean, born on May 12th and weighing in at 9 lbs. 13 oz. As befits such a mammoth production, she was 10 months in the making. The staff soccer XI retained their unbeaten record when they beat the Duncan Doctors 4 to 2 . The star of the game was undoubtedly N.R.B.P., who not only made several daring saves in goal, but also resisted the temptation to gather around the opposition and show off his operation scars. There is mammoth talk of a match against the Duncan lawyers. This has unfortunately been delayed because we have so far been unable to come up with the 15 officials — referee, prosecuting defending counsels, and 12 men good and true to adjudicate each offense. One of my colleagues, who shall remain nameless, had the singular misfortune to flip his car. Luckily his seat-belt saved him from injury at the time of the accident. Unluckily he chose to release his seat-belt when the car ground to a halt, thus sustaining a nasty blow to the head and injury to the neck. (Clue ... for those seeking his identity. The ignorance of the Law of Gravity clearly in- dicates his Ph.D. is NOT in Physics.) When he read these notes, a senior member of staff considered them obscure, irrelevant, esoteric, coruscated with illusory analogies and inundated with innuendoes; completely unintelligible to the uninitiated; indubitable emanating from a m entality perverted and irremediably diseased. Well, at least that ' s clear. Norm. D. Plume 20
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Page 23 text:
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P.J. Simmons, Dip. Ed. Mrs. H. Smith, Dip. Ed. Mrs. M. Wichlinski, B.A. R. Wingate, M.A. R.S.Wynne, B.A. 19
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