Brattleboro Union High School - Colonel Yearbook (Brattleboro, VT)

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22 Position is nine tenths of the law! Thinking of stale jokes brings Tiers to our eyes! Q.: Who was Homer ? A.: The fellow who lived in the barrel. Teacher freferring to unwritten themej : I'll give you just one more day of grace! Student fabsent-mindedlyj 1 l'd prefer Helen! Chick certainly takes it without going off mad! -And there was a Mrs. Simpson who could not measure up to an English ruler! Someone has said that Gracie should cultivate Frankie. We wonder where-ein Dutton's pines? Have you read up on the Social Security Act in the I Jinzar Magazine? S. M. fin Englishj : One day a group of fellows and I went to see a basketball game in a model T Ford! Henry VIII never took after any simp's son! Oh, some jokes go round and round, oh-oh-oh-oh - -but they don't come out here! Marie Antoinette's Biography is a long tale written on the pure white chastity of paper. Have you heard of anything that makes a long story short? Rraanrzas' Drerasr Tiruasz We Have With Us TonightkeThe Yankee at King Edwards Court-playing lt Never Should Have Hap- pened -in The Horseless Carriage! We star Phil, the Inventor with The Eavesdroppers in Eden-Snaring the Snapshot--through The Billboard. Radio comes to Cow Creek starring Touch and Lo'- The Rising Sun of japan! THE DIAL He: This statement is worthless. She: Why? He: It doesn't make sense? The election put Vermont on the map! Usually, the fellow with the broad shoulders is an uncanny lad! Mr. Miller: What was the capital of the first bank of the United States ? Miss Martin: Philadelphia! o Student: Hay, Miller, where'd you get the shiner ? Miller: Gym! Student: jim who ? H. Martin: Cut it out, Dutton-you aren't cute-vyou aren't even smart ! Student: Boy, you've certainly got some things in common! Dutton: l'm pining for Helen Martin! Student: Yr-a!aaefalling timber! Student: I lost seven dollars on election day ! Another Student: How come ? Student: My grandfather told me Washington still had pneumonia! All our big he-man hunters went into the woods with high-powered rifles and smiles of confidence. Hunters-- all returned-with guns! Mr. Nelson fin Geometryj: Some of you students are certainly going to enjoy Geometry next year! The school play is taking shapes rapidly! D. fin English quizj: Let good indigestion wait upon the appetite. E. D. Qin Englishj: He often has these mental elapses! Cu! by Tberera jorlyn '40

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I-IUMORESQUE Pr Ski Technique Oh, how nice of you to come and watch me! Yes, wasn't it lovely of Uncle Elmer to give me such beautiful skis? I'm just thrilled, absolutely enthralled by the mag- nificent grain in the wood. You say it's the company's trade-mark? Anyway, he must have hunted for weeks to find just that certain mark. I was afraid that I might harm them, if I wore them, for skiing, but jacob fthat's my husband, you knowj said that the snow was soft and wouldn't scratch. But, to be certain, I padded the bot- toms with felt. See? Isn't that unique? My neighbor, Mr. Makemspitam, said that it would hinder my prog- ress. But Jax fthat's what I call my husband, for shortj, said that nothing was too slow for me. Wasn't that a nice compliment? I thought the snow might spot them but my little nephew, Bartholomick, said that they are specially adapted to weather conditions. I didn't see how nature could adopt anything, and I don't think Uncle Elmer would want anyone else to have them, for they're mine. Well, I guess I'm ready. What's that rope for? You take hold of it. Why? I usually don't put on skis for a tug of war. Anyway, it's not fair. The one at the top has a much better chance! It pulls you up? How cunning! But what if it breaks? It won't break! Young man, how do you know it won't? You say to try and see! Are you being pertinent? You're just my instructor? Well, here goes! Oh, help! it's dragging me! My legs are forgetting to come. You say to let go? Let go of what? Oh, the rope, I'd forgotten the rope. Well, what's wrong! Do some- thing! You' re the instructor. Do something! You think I'cl get along better with the points of my skis in front? Are 1 C111 by Florine DeArzgeli.r '38 you trying to tell me how to wear skis? Why, I wore skis when you wore diapers. Probably with the same results? Why, you young whippersnaker! All ready now, I'll start again. I'm moving! Keep my feet under me? Where did you think I'd put them? In my pockets? Young man, your tongue is far too long! Oh, there goes my handkerchief. Stop! Get it! Save me! I'm sliding backward! Ugh!-I think I've broken my back. I can't breathe. My sides are crushed. Oh, don't touch me. You say my ski is broken? Thank God! Now, I may go home! And-I'm sending Uncle Elmer a bottle of Sloan's liniment for Christmas. -V. P. !38 va ar: :xc as The Freshmen are engaged on an I I I project, build- ing Senior Air Castles! Certain students of Mr. Miller's Economic class are determined that Protection to Infant Industry refers to Birth Control! If the sixth period Biology class is an example of Sophomore ingenuity, it certainly hasn't been acquired through precedence! It's remarkable how many juniors are taken to be Sen- iors by the underclassmen! The addition of new lights to our school building cer- tainly has not helped some eyes. Mr. Thomas revels in denotching. Seniors, watch your throne!

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THE DIAL 23 PROFESSIONAL MANLEY BROS. CO., INC. MANLEY Moron SALES DOCTORS Federal International Cadillac LaSalle W. J. KAINE, MD., Barber Block, Saler - Service Sales and Service Main St. Telephone 429-W. 29 High St. Tel. 1140 or 1191 28 High St. Tel, 929 ALLAN D. SUTHERLAND, M.D., 9 Homeopathic Physician, 80 Main St. S Telephone 1420-W. Oiiice Hours: 9 to 10 A.M., 1:39 to 5 P.M. and 7 to 8 Barber Shop Ways P-M- Over Woolworth's As Usual JOHN R. HOGLE, MD., 114 Main si., C m U Telephone 234. Residence 7 Chapin 0 C D - St., Telephone 289-W. rparrtptinng Your Sefvlce DR. B. E. WHITE, Pentland Block. mf Bmw Telephone 717-W. ,IOHN R. MALLOY, M.D. OSTEOPATI-I R. KENNETH DUNN, D.O. American Building Tel. 77-W : gg -'- -' OPTOMETRIST ALFRED B. JORDAN, O.D. and KATHARINE JORDAN, O.D. 167 Main St. Tel. 66. Oliice Hours: 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. Saturday, 9 A.M. to 8 P.M. MORTICIANS Arthur L. Rohde 'ffxflortician Automobile Ambulance 32 Oak Street Phone 354 Carl A. Mitchell UNDERTAKER Automobile Ambulance Service 8 PUTNEY ROAD rnmpt Swrnirr. Uhr Mark Brug Starr ll! lllain Strut lrattlrhnrn. Bt. Recognized wherever good printing is known E. L. Hildreth 8: Company Incorporated Brattleboro, Vermont TEA TABLE Quality Flour Distributed by THE DEWITT GROCERY CO. Brattleboro, Vermont DUTCH BAKE SHOP 101 Main Street F. A. DUNLEVY Tailor Custom Made Clothes Dry Cleaning-Pressing-Alterations 10 Main St. New Method Dry Cleaners Incorporated Barber Building 7 Flat Street BRATTLEBORO, VERMONT Service - Satiffaction W. J. PENTLAND The Plumber 78 Main St. Tel. 45-W or 45-R MOBILGAS MOBILOIL , , J. E. MANN, INC. Socony Servlce Statlon DRY GOODS READY-T0-WEAR MOBILUBRICATION MAIN STREET MIUJNERY T. N. Pidgeon, Mgr. SHOES Collegiate in Style For Young Men and Women Barrows Cash Shoe Store Our Styles are Exclusive Qualities Reliable We give Thrifties on all cash purchases 106-108 Main St. Brattleboro, Vermont Near the Bridge COMMERCIAL PRINTING Sporting Goods Loore Leaf Form: and Devicer t We are hfaflquarters fo' Sh W lk Fil d Om S lu Ammunition Fishing Tackle Skates aw' a C' 'es an ce app 'es FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL SUPPLIES Northland Skis Snowshoes Sleds 16-18 Ullery Bldg. Brattleboro, Vermont CO.,