Brattleboro Union High School - Colonel Yearbook (Brattleboro, VT)

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I-IUMORESQUE Pr Ski Technique Oh, how nice of you to come and watch me! Yes, wasn't it lovely of Uncle Elmer to give me such beautiful skis? I'm just thrilled, absolutely enthralled by the mag- nificent grain in the wood. You say it's the company's trade-mark? Anyway, he must have hunted for weeks to find just that certain mark. I was afraid that I might harm them, if I wore them, for skiing, but jacob fthat's my husband, you knowj said that the snow was soft and wouldn't scratch. But, to be certain, I padded the bot- toms with felt. See? Isn't that unique? My neighbor, Mr. Makemspitam, said that it would hinder my prog- ress. But Jax fthat's what I call my husband, for shortj, said that nothing was too slow for me. Wasn't that a nice compliment? I thought the snow might spot them but my little nephew, Bartholomick, said that they are specially adapted to weather conditions. I didn't see how nature could adopt anything, and I don't think Uncle Elmer would want anyone else to have them, for they're mine. Well, I guess I'm ready. What's that rope for? You take hold of it. Why? I usually don't put on skis for a tug of war. Anyway, it's not fair. The one at the top has a much better chance! It pulls you up? How cunning! But what if it breaks? It won't break! Young man, how do you know it won't? You say to try and see! Are you being pertinent? You're just my instructor? Well, here goes! Oh, help! it's dragging me! My legs are forgetting to come. You say to let go? Let go of what? Oh, the rope, I'd forgotten the rope. Well, what's wrong! Do some- thing! You' re the instructor. Do something! You think I'cl get along better with the points of my skis in front? Are 1 C111 by Florine DeArzgeli.r '38 you trying to tell me how to wear skis? Why, I wore skis when you wore diapers. Probably with the same results? Why, you young whippersnaker! All ready now, I'll start again. I'm moving! Keep my feet under me? Where did you think I'd put them? In my pockets? Young man, your tongue is far too long! Oh, there goes my handkerchief. Stop! Get it! Save me! I'm sliding backward! Ugh!-I think I've broken my back. I can't breathe. My sides are crushed. Oh, don't touch me. You say my ski is broken? Thank God! Now, I may go home! And-I'm sending Uncle Elmer a bottle of Sloan's liniment for Christmas. -V. P. !38 va ar: :xc as The Freshmen are engaged on an I I I project, build- ing Senior Air Castles! Certain students of Mr. Miller's Economic class are determined that Protection to Infant Industry refers to Birth Control! If the sixth period Biology class is an example of Sophomore ingenuity, it certainly hasn't been acquired through precedence! It's remarkable how many juniors are taken to be Sen- iors by the underclassmen! The addition of new lights to our school building cer- tainly has not helped some eyes. Mr. Thomas revels in denotching. Seniors, watch your throne!

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1 20 I THEiilDIAL Brattleboro Ski Jump fCon!inuedfr0f1z page 41 shows that Dartmouth has a running space of 210 feet, while the running of the jump here is from 290 to 300 feet. The Brattleboro hill is natural, while at Dartmouth it was necessary to build a steel trestle, the jump there cost- ing about 34500. The Dartmouth jump is 375 feet long, whereas the Brattleboro jump is 750 feet. Dartmouth's jump drops about 200 feet, and there is a drop of 268 feet on the local jump. Brattleboro has been favored with the scene of the National Ski-jumping Championships of the 1937-1938 season. The National Ski Association in Chicago acceded to Brattleboro's request for next winter's tourney for the third time. The date has not been set but will be early in 1938. So Brattleboro, with its natural beauty, has attained popularity for its winter activities, especially for skiing. Against a background of snow-capped Vermont hills, the artistic environment, with the spectators like candy of every color on a huge frosted cake, invites many on-lookers and participants to our town. Our hearts thump with pride at the snow-laden beauty of winterset in Brattle- borol Why Not a High School Ski Team? fC0ntinuea' fron: page 142 Winter picnics are a lot of fun. With a roaring fire built in some sunny place out of the wind, you will be surprised how warm you can be especially when the days grow longer toward the end of the season. There are many interesting places and camps within a few miles which can serve as objective points. When city dwellers are willing to spend 8 hours in a day on a train in order to enjoy 4 or 5 hours of skiing, how much more should we who live in the ski belt be alert to our opportunities! How to start toward having a High School Ski Team? Simply call a meeting of those interested. I venture the prophecy that the idea will meet with instant enthusiasm. Invite the President of the local Outing Club who has had experience in the work of organization. Elect a Captain and Manager, also a Chairman of a Committee on ski trips. It should not be difficult to arrange a dual meet with a nearby, ski-minded school. Yes! I would like to see organized a ski club and a ski team. We have all the advantages. There is every chance of success. May the time not come-and soon-when we will be as proud of a winning winter sports team as we were this fall of our winning football team? Schtem Along l -Ski Heil l ICon1inued from page I6j After you have read and absorbed the interesting text of these five books y0u'll feel just like sitting in front of a huge fireplace with skiers from every country. You'll be talking of the good and bad turns, the types of wax, broken bindings, conditions of snow. The names of great ski instructors will spring up now and then. Didn't you read about all this? Aren't you glad that you did? I'm sure that you will be! But, if you aren't yet read up on the subject of skiing, there are still more excellent books concerning this great sport. So put on your woolens, dig out your red plaid ear mulfs fto match your wooliesj, and delve into the snow covered pages of: Ski Gang-George Herring-Stephen Daye Press. fThis is a book for childrenj Douwlsill Skiing-Otto Lang-Henry Holt 8: Co. Novels which have to do with skiing Snow Against the Sky-Mary Dunstan. Family Name-Arnold Lunn. IV ell, Otto, I hear that lhefe are lwo fee! of ,mow on Hellfr Highway. I'm going up this week-emi: will you be up there-but remember, .rclntem like Hell on Ibe Rock Garden-Ski H eil! Brattleboro-Winter Playland fCon!inued from page 71 any crisp, clear night you can hear the shouts of happy groups as they speed down shining slopes on toboggans For those who still love just plain sliding, the town has set aside Green Street, Maple Street, and South Main Street. After a fall of snow, it is fun to watch young and old gaily sliding down, only to trudge to the top to start again. Is it any wonder that Brattleboro is called a Winter playland? It is a paradise for sportsmen, and, besides pro- viding advantages for every Winter Sport, it has a health- ful and invigorating climate. ut by Genrie Edron '39

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22 Position is nine tenths of the law! Thinking of stale jokes brings Tiers to our eyes! Q.: Who was Homer ? A.: The fellow who lived in the barrel. Teacher freferring to unwritten themej : I'll give you just one more day of grace! Student fabsent-mindedlyj 1 l'd prefer Helen! Chick certainly takes it without going off mad! -And there was a Mrs. Simpson who could not measure up to an English ruler! Someone has said that Gracie should cultivate Frankie. We wonder where-ein Dutton's pines? Have you read up on the Social Security Act in the I Jinzar Magazine? S. M. fin Englishj : One day a group of fellows and I went to see a basketball game in a model T Ford! Henry VIII never took after any simp's son! Oh, some jokes go round and round, oh-oh-oh-oh - -but they don't come out here! Marie Antoinette's Biography is a long tale written on the pure white chastity of paper. Have you heard of anything that makes a long story short? Rraanrzas' Drerasr Tiruasz We Have With Us TonightkeThe Yankee at King Edwards Court-playing lt Never Should Have Hap- pened -in The Horseless Carriage! We star Phil, the Inventor with The Eavesdroppers in Eden-Snaring the Snapshot--through The Billboard. Radio comes to Cow Creek starring Touch and Lo'- The Rising Sun of japan! THE DIAL He: This statement is worthless. She: Why? He: It doesn't make sense? The election put Vermont on the map! Usually, the fellow with the broad shoulders is an uncanny lad! Mr. Miller: What was the capital of the first bank of the United States ? Miss Martin: Philadelphia! o Student: Hay, Miller, where'd you get the shiner ? Miller: Gym! Student: jim who ? H. Martin: Cut it out, Dutton-you aren't cute-vyou aren't even smart ! Student: Boy, you've certainly got some things in common! Dutton: l'm pining for Helen Martin! Student: Yr-a!aaefalling timber! Student: I lost seven dollars on election day ! Another Student: How come ? Student: My grandfather told me Washington still had pneumonia! All our big he-man hunters went into the woods with high-powered rifles and smiles of confidence. Hunters-- all returned-with guns! Mr. Nelson fin Geometryj: Some of you students are certainly going to enjoy Geometry next year! The school play is taking shapes rapidly! D. fin English quizj: Let good indigestion wait upon the appetite. E. D. Qin Englishj: He often has these mental elapses! Cu! by Tberera jorlyn '40