Brattleboro Union High School - Colonel Yearbook (Brattleboro, VT)

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20 THE DIAL around with a scowl on his face, trying to think of a poem as good as the one published in THE DIAL during his senior year. Robert has made quite a fortune as an artist who keeps the past out of pastels. What a tan this fellow has! Yes, it's Pepper Martin, as bronzed as an Indian. Well, why shouldn't he be? After the historic B. H. S.-Keene game, life became so boring that he went to Texas and has been throwing the bull ever since. Vernon Vernott, being a bachelor and a lover of kids, opened a sanitorium for homeless waifs and now spends his idle moments in the day nursery. Hilda Gomez fell in love with a financial genius and now raises greyhounds with her excess cash. Donald Mitchell had a desire to do great things. He is now head of the musical department at the White House. He is an accomplished musician on the musical saw. Eloise Bradley toured the States and found the fountain of youth. She is now good for sixty years more. Marjorie Barnes ran for the Massachusetts guberna- torial seat and lost. Cooking had not been included in her course and she made the unfortunate mistake of inviting her foremost supporters to a luncheon prepared by her- self before the election. Evelyn Bates and Alicia Beals took a trip to the mint in Washington and met two Senators from Louisiana. They now teach the original hilly-billy goose-step to the socialites at tea parties held on the White House lawn. The Saxtons River district is proud of its ultra-efiicient game warden, Edward Carpenter. It is rumored that Edward tramps the streams and scans the hillsides trying to find a fallacy in what Mr. Chaffey used to tell him about Nature. Carl and Florence Houghton went West and began a turkey farm. The turkeys multiplied so fast that they now overrun the country. If you have said delicacy on Thanksgiving, you may be sure that these two had a hand in it. Marie Amidon was not content to be just the belle of Putney but wanted to get to the top. Barnum and Bailey Circus now considers her as their leading feminine aerial- ist. Who's this distressed looking individual? Why, it's Ernest Wood! He was left a fortune and lost it all in the stock market crash of '45. Behind him is the eternal paradox, Betty Stevens. She is bedecked in furs bought from the receipts of the seventh edition of her auto- biography, Love in a V Eight. Evelyn jennison and Helen Mulroney are a decided advantage to the surgical staff of the Brattleboro Memorial hospital. They are searching, among other things, for the B, U. in man-Biological Urge. Anita Tucker is a brain specialist at the Brattleboro Retreat. She gained her experience by watching the antics of B. H. S. undergraduates. From the headlines of the New York Times we learn that Leslie Klinefelter has become America's foremost dust-eater by winning his second Indianapolis speedway race. We always knew that he was a fast fellow! Someone inquired about Alice Martin and Bill Goadby. Their A La Carte hot dog stand located on the Greenfield Road, now serves the best weenies between here and the Pacific Coast. Robert Chapin who stopped there one day, ate so many that he was taken to the Brattleboro Memorial Hospital. He married the nurse! Beautiful Peg Douglas has just entered. After her superb performance in Behind Closed Doors, she joined a traveling stock company which had no doors to close. Her natural beauty was soon recognized, and she now has become New York's foremost character actress. Louise French went into solitude after graduating, and now gives lessons to High School students in the art of concentration, and the ability to defend one's self from the opposite sex. Alyce Sadd married a minister and now carries on wel- fare work among Hindsdale atheists. Harold Barry because of his daring and belligerent pugnacity is now the light feather-weight champion of the United States. His one mistake was that he overtrained and became muscle bound. One night, he experienced a reflex and knocked himself cold. Bill Lindsey, who joined the Navy to see the world, got so badly beaten up during his first scrap that he came home and took a correspondence course in needle work. He now teaches this subject at the old ladies home. During the last Kentucky Derby, Alice Bailey staked her flower made fortune on High Stepper, a horse trained and ridden by that noted equestrian Harold Blodgett. She lost her money because on the home stretch, the horse sighted a patch of blue grass, decided that it was dinner time, and took time out to eat. Dorothy Anderson and Ajlill Auguston made the big- gest hit of the season over the Major Bowes' amateur program. They have now reached international fame as co-directors of Fred Waring's Pennsylvanians. Patou and Chanel, famous Parissiene dress designers, have been constantly in a row trying to secure Margaret Stark as the model for their inimitable creations. Margaret is noted for her poise and debonaire nonchalance. Delma Nesbitt has become so well known that his picture appears in the papers at least once a week. He poses as Old Man Coffee Nerves for the Postum Ad- vertisements. H Kermit Baker and Alfred Burroughs have just entered. Each has a beard that would make the House of David look sick. As Co-editors of the Smith Brothers' Chronicle, they are even a bigger success. We hear that when their whiskers get too long, they merely lean closer to their typewriters, and let the keyboard do the rest. The Davy Tree Surgery Company has advanced rapidly since Maynard Brown joined the ranks. One day he was ordered to graft a tree. Being very honest he slammed on his hat and said, I'll leave that to the government. Maynard Walker rose to fame when he composed a

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CLASS PROPI-IECY N T is june 23, 1961. The members of the class of 1936 are holding their 25th alumni banquet on the roof garden atop the Bank Building. Durward and I are the proprietors. We don't like to brag, but we own the swanki- est night club in Brattleboro. The guests are beginning to come in, and, from bits of conversation which are dropped, we learn that the oil King, Carter jones, came all the way from his new oil fields outside of Moscow to attend the reunion. Inside of two years, he has gained three oil fields, several million dollars and fifty pounds. Edward Zarr, who recently returned from Hollywood on his motorcycle, has just entered, accompanied by three other Hollywood stars. It is rumored that he fell in love with Greta Garbo, but she loved someone named Harley Davidson-or something like that. The others are Howard and Bernard Tudor, actors who have made good playing in Tarzan pictures-I can't seem to remem- ber now what parts they did take. With them is Hippy', Tasker-the Blond Betty Boop. By the way, scientist Helen Berry won the Noble Prize for inventing heat- resisting film so that Betty could be photographed. They're not on speaking terms now, as Betty has received more and more publicity and Helen has received less and less. Lillian Bennett is a tap dancer at the club. Itis a well- known fact that she walks on her hands when she isn't dancing so that the corns on her feet won't hurt so much. Camilla Gould-rather Mrs. Edward Dunklee-and her husband, have just come in. She thought she had him cornered when she married him, but both his smile and his motorcycle have a habit of straying. Another one- time motorcyclist is here, Eric Delling. He is a G-man, and for some reason or other he likes to keep an eye on this place. Oh-oh, Here is a real celebrity! Grace Weaver, con- sidered to be the Edna St. Vincent Millay of today, and, following humbly at her heels, with the adoring expres- sion of a St. Bernard on his face, is Henry Merrill. He has made his fortune by smiling for Pebeco advertisements. Burton Gregg-remember Burtie ?-was planning to come tonight, but a month ago, while this noted anthro- pologist was looking for the missing link in evolution, he happened to glance in the mirror. There-there in front of him was what he had been searching for for years. The shock was too much. How happy, how very happy he would have been if he could have known that the great evangelist, Carolyn Gage, had presided over his funeral. In fact, she was so deeply affected by the tragedy that she went out and got married-for the fifth time. Aimee had nothing on this girl. Dot Swan-you know, Dot-the girl with the chorus girl build-went theatrical. She has appeared in the last six editions of Earl Carrol's Vanities and is being hailed as a second Fanny Brice. Bill Holden became the first human to run the hundred- yard dash in 9,2 seconds. We knew he'd do it someday, because he always did travel in fast company. Here comes Bob Moore and Harriette Wilbur-the two Olympic winners of last year. Swimming, track, basketball and other sports became too mild for Harriette, so she took up prize fighting. She has never won a fight though, because she always leads with her chin. Bob has fared better. He has just returned after warming every college athletic bench in the country. Julian Barber is at the bar mixing drinks. He is the world's best-known soda-jerker. One day, quite by acci- dent, he mixed together an alka-seltzer and a Mint julep- thus creating the Burp-proof drink. Muriel Taggart is now giving a piano recital. Occasion- ally, it sounds as if she were searching for the lost chord. Dana Chase, also, is in our orchestra. We keep the cur- tains pleated here because they curl up in agony when Dana plays. Entering the door is Fred Nims, wearing top hat, white tie and tails. He is editor-in-chief of New York's leading scandal sheet. We always suspected that his shy manner was assumed. With him is johnny Davis, who works on the same paper. Life in New York is so tame for johnny that when he can't find any scandal, he goes out and makes some. Paul Burnham is not here. He was so deeply affected by reading Shakespearean nature lyrics that he took to the woods and is new keeping bachelor's hall atop Mine Mountain. I believe that the Coy Shaw-Dot johnson duo will never be permanently settled. They are celebrating their third marriage-to each other. They can't seem to keep their minds made up. Dorothy Frizzell found her heart's wish fulfilled fif- teen years ago when she gave birth to six girls. Only a few weeks after their birth, she made a trip to Canada for the soul purpose of snapping her fingers in Mrs. Dionne's face. Last year, Eddie Robert jumped from the top of the Eiffel Tower because someone heartlessly proved that some of his French pronunciation was incorrect. Edythe Graves and Rachel Fisher, the original flap- pers, are wearing glasses. They nearly lost their eyesight from rolling their eyes too strenuously. Too bad that all the hard work was in vain. Two more old mai-well, single women are here. They are june johnson and Doris Longueil. It seems that they never did find those perfect husbands for which they started looking while in high school. Those ultra-efiicient private secretaries, Ines Lausi and Mary Gembarowski, who have resigned or been thrown out of about every company in the United States, have just entered with their new bosses, john Heald and Robert Goodwin. john is a successful financier, but he goes

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THE DIALF 'S 2I new song hit based upon that favorite The Music Goes Round and Round. As it came around the second time, while he was playing it as a solo at the Cotton Club, the reed broke in his mouth, and he choked to death. Maurice Cobb isn't here tonight. He became a famous Arctic explorer. One day, while climbing over an ice cake, he slipped and broke his leg, so his Esquimo com- panions had to shoot him. He was given military honors by the Brattleboro Reformer. Lydia Harris rose to fame soon after graduating. She won the National Baking Contest prize! Miss Crisco, l936.,' Robert Stebbins starred in the million-dollar produc- tion of ujack in the Beanstalk. We all went to the show, but nary hide nor hair of him could we see, so we went backstage. We found that Stebbins was the beanstalk. Deacon Carlton Smith was quite shocked one day when he came upon the East Putney Nudist Colony headed by two of his old classmates, john and Marjorie Clark. Marjorie Fossey, who raises blue-ribbon Guernseys in West Chesterfield, tried to save money by feeding ground glass to the cows so that the milk would come out bottled. Several of the boarders in Rachel Wells, boarding house nearly starved to death, because, for several morn- ings, she absent-mindedly threw away the doughnuts and saved the holes. George Sprague, the truck driver, planned to be here tonight, but a few days ago he displayed his Herculean strength on a state trooper who told him that his truck was overloaded. He now is temporarily residing in jail. jean Barnard, who has just entered, looks rather wan and thin, but as she is a Spencer Corsetierre, we imagine that her looks are due to the fact that she is all wrapped up in her work. George Green and Gertrude Ingram, those two ro- manticists, have spent their idyllic married life in a Vene- tian houseboat, tied to a tree in back of the milk plant. The marriage nearly came to an end when Gertrude un- reasonably stated that she was sick of her twenty years' diet of fish and milk. After graduating from Katie Gibbs', Betsey Hall be- came secretary for some of Long Islands social leaders. Unknown to herself, her charming personality and beauty led every family for which she worked into the divorce courts. In despair, she came home and now does book- keeping for the newly established home for the deaf and blind. Stan juscen is tour conductor for the Cunard line. Dur- ing a short stay in the Fiji Islands, he showed the in- habitants how to play football. He became such a hero that now the immigration to the United States of feminine Fiji natives is becoming an international problem. Genevieve Palmer, the jane Adams of White River Junction, through her untiring diligence, has raised the social status of the community until it is nearly equal to that of Westminster West. Our favorite eight o'clock program on a Sunday night announced the appearance of the Major's own private secretary in person, Miss Sylvia Brockington. Everything was fine, until she went into her dance-then she found the Harwood floors were too much for her. William Ryan has an excellent position in the Kellog Company. Hels the chap who puts the shreds in Shredded Wheat. Bradshaw Crandall caught sight of Maxine Sargent's picture down in front of Lewis Brown's studio, and now she poses for his pastel cover designs. Her face turned out to be her fortune. Ruth Bolster still has the sweet tooth. She puts the bolts in Bolster chocolate bars. Emily and Madeline Birch have just entered with their twin husbands. They both fell in love with what they imagined was the same man. When they realized their mistake, they decided to compromise, so they flipped a coin. Speaking of sports, jack Emery is now head coach at Dartmouth of both skiing and tennis. His size, bronzed complexion and ability in the war dance have made him a tribal chief and mascot of the college. Betsey White's marriage dissolved while she was work- ing as a Dorothy Dix on the Boston Globe. Her husband sent her a letter written under an assumed name, telling how his wife henpecked him and domineered him. Her answer in the paper told him to show his wife who was boss, well-he took the advice. I guess theylre all accounted for folks, so we shall fold up our fountain pens, like the Arabs, and silently steal HWHY- --Dorff Heyer -Dnrward Chamberlain NG-Men!! fC0nlinued from page 61 illustrates what a vast amount of scientific data can be built up with painstaking effort. The Division does not base its campaign upon the personal courage and initiative of its men. Essentially, it is a coordinating agency for the law and order forces of the cities and states. It has no wish whatever to federalize the forces of law and order. As a particular part of its coordinating work, the Division publishes a monthly bulletin of Fugitives wanted by the Police, which is widely circulated. It also publishes crime statistics which show trends, and which indicate where effort must be exerted in the future. Figures show that more criminals are arrested at the age of 19 than at any other age. This means much. An encouraging fact is that the statistics do not show a crime wave going on at the present, except in the headlines. The job of holding off the gangster, the kidnapper and the thug is too big for any one group. Crime prevention calls for the services of many people: the lawyer, the doctor, the sociologist, the police ofi'icer, the welfare fC01ztinued on page 4.2!