Brattleboro Union High School - Colonel Yearbook (Brattleboro, VT)

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CLASS PROPI-IECY N T is june 23, 1961. The members of the class of 1936 are holding their 25th alumni banquet on the roof garden atop the Bank Building. Durward and I are the proprietors. We don't like to brag, but we own the swanki- est night club in Brattleboro. The guests are beginning to come in, and, from bits of conversation which are dropped, we learn that the oil King, Carter jones, came all the way from his new oil fields outside of Moscow to attend the reunion. Inside of two years, he has gained three oil fields, several million dollars and fifty pounds. Edward Zarr, who recently returned from Hollywood on his motorcycle, has just entered, accompanied by three other Hollywood stars. It is rumored that he fell in love with Greta Garbo, but she loved someone named Harley Davidson-or something like that. The others are Howard and Bernard Tudor, actors who have made good playing in Tarzan pictures-I can't seem to remem- ber now what parts they did take. With them is Hippy', Tasker-the Blond Betty Boop. By the way, scientist Helen Berry won the Noble Prize for inventing heat- resisting film so that Betty could be photographed. They're not on speaking terms now, as Betty has received more and more publicity and Helen has received less and less. Lillian Bennett is a tap dancer at the club. Itis a well- known fact that she walks on her hands when she isn't dancing so that the corns on her feet won't hurt so much. Camilla Gould-rather Mrs. Edward Dunklee-and her husband, have just come in. She thought she had him cornered when she married him, but both his smile and his motorcycle have a habit of straying. Another one- time motorcyclist is here, Eric Delling. He is a G-man, and for some reason or other he likes to keep an eye on this place. Oh-oh, Here is a real celebrity! Grace Weaver, con- sidered to be the Edna St. Vincent Millay of today, and, following humbly at her heels, with the adoring expres- sion of a St. Bernard on his face, is Henry Merrill. He has made his fortune by smiling for Pebeco advertisements. Burton Gregg-remember Burtie ?-was planning to come tonight, but a month ago, while this noted anthro- pologist was looking for the missing link in evolution, he happened to glance in the mirror. There-there in front of him was what he had been searching for for years. The shock was too much. How happy, how very happy he would have been if he could have known that the great evangelist, Carolyn Gage, had presided over his funeral. In fact, she was so deeply affected by the tragedy that she went out and got married-for the fifth time. Aimee had nothing on this girl. Dot Swan-you know, Dot-the girl with the chorus girl build-went theatrical. She has appeared in the last six editions of Earl Carrol's Vanities and is being hailed as a second Fanny Brice. Bill Holden became the first human to run the hundred- yard dash in 9,2 seconds. We knew he'd do it someday, because he always did travel in fast company. Here comes Bob Moore and Harriette Wilbur-the two Olympic winners of last year. Swimming, track, basketball and other sports became too mild for Harriette, so she took up prize fighting. She has never won a fight though, because she always leads with her chin. Bob has fared better. He has just returned after warming every college athletic bench in the country. Julian Barber is at the bar mixing drinks. He is the world's best-known soda-jerker. One day, quite by acci- dent, he mixed together an alka-seltzer and a Mint julep- thus creating the Burp-proof drink. Muriel Taggart is now giving a piano recital. Occasion- ally, it sounds as if she were searching for the lost chord. Dana Chase, also, is in our orchestra. We keep the cur- tains pleated here because they curl up in agony when Dana plays. Entering the door is Fred Nims, wearing top hat, white tie and tails. He is editor-in-chief of New York's leading scandal sheet. We always suspected that his shy manner was assumed. With him is johnny Davis, who works on the same paper. Life in New York is so tame for johnny that when he can't find any scandal, he goes out and makes some. Paul Burnham is not here. He was so deeply affected by reading Shakespearean nature lyrics that he took to the woods and is new keeping bachelor's hall atop Mine Mountain. I believe that the Coy Shaw-Dot johnson duo will never be permanently settled. They are celebrating their third marriage-to each other. They can't seem to keep their minds made up. Dorothy Frizzell found her heart's wish fulfilled fif- teen years ago when she gave birth to six girls. Only a few weeks after their birth, she made a trip to Canada for the soul purpose of snapping her fingers in Mrs. Dionne's face. Last year, Eddie Robert jumped from the top of the Eiffel Tower because someone heartlessly proved that some of his French pronunciation was incorrect. Edythe Graves and Rachel Fisher, the original flap- pers, are wearing glasses. They nearly lost their eyesight from rolling their eyes too strenuously. Too bad that all the hard work was in vain. Two more old mai-well, single women are here. They are june johnson and Doris Longueil. It seems that they never did find those perfect husbands for which they started looking while in high school. Those ultra-efiicient private secretaries, Ines Lausi and Mary Gembarowski, who have resigned or been thrown out of about every company in the United States, have just entered with their new bosses, john Heald and Robert Goodwin. john is a successful financier, but he goes

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I8 THE DIAL Television KC0nzin1zedfr0m page 101 One of our large corporations is said to have ready for release a highly satisfactory television receiver for the home. However, for two main reasons, this company is withholding its product from the market. The first rea- son is that the set will be high in price, under the present state of business, its sale would be severely limited. The other main reason is the dearth of television broadcasting stations in this country. Obviously, people are not going to spend several hundred of dollars for a set which can be of little use to them. It is interesting to note that the public is eager to buy, but the producers are loath to sell, or are unable to sell. The scarcity of sending stations in America is due to several reasons. The most important of these is the lack of standardization of sets. Some sets are made to re- ceive the 240-lines-to-an-inch television, while others ac- cept only 410 lines to an inch on their screens. A broad- cast which can be received by only one type of machine is of little advantage. One writer states that the blame for the dearth of sat- isfactory television transmitters may be laid directly at the door of the Federal Radio Commission. That body has ruled that advertising shall not be a part of any tele- vision program, and that the programs shall be for ex- perimental purposes only. This precaution may have a good effect in preventing a recurrence of the tremendous overdose of advertising which has so degraded present radio programs. But, on the other hand, this restriction prevents the operation of self-supporting television trans- mitters, and without them, television receivers become only curiosities, depending for programs on a few scat- tered stations operating but sparsely. Another problem which brought about difficulty was the question of wave bands. Had television been de- veloped ten years ago, all would have been well, for radio did not then occupy practically all the ether space, as it now does. However, television sets can operate on wave bands of seven meters. Since radio cannot easily work on such a low wave band, the problem seems to have been solved. There are unlimited possibilities for the practical usage of television, once it really is perfected. Thinking of television in its broadest sense, that is, including the transmission of pictures by wire, there are many oppor- tunities for television to improve present methods. For instance, when advertisements are to be duplicated in various cities, a telegraph message is not sufficient, but a televised picture can clearly show the exact form. When one wishes to send a message in some language which is not familiar to the telegraph operator, the advantage of being able to send a picture of the handwriting is appar- ent. As soon as the successful laboratory operations can be put into commercial practice, the tedious ticking off of individual letters for each word will appear as anti- quated as an oxcart alongside a powerful electric loco- motive. Then, too, a number of forms of entertainment are barred, or hindered by lack of television. This was demonstrated when one broadcasting station tried to send over the air a series of Broadway musical shows, direct from the stage. This attempt turned out a failure, for without the stage setting and the display of color and dancing, the show was lifeless. Television seems definitely on the road to become an educational instrument of practical value. The television station at the University of Iowa was the first sight sound broadcasting station for educational purposes in the en- tire country. The electrical engineering department con- ducted a series of teaching experiments whose results indicate that soon students who cannot go to schools or colleges for instruction can get it in their own homes. One news report stated that: The students will not only be able to hear the teacheris voice, but they will be able to see her chalking figures on the blackboard. They will even hear the squeak of the chalk. Experimental broad- casts have been made in language courses, music, art, journalism, science, rugmaking, basket weaving, short- hand, and mechanical drawing. There have also been lectures in astronomy, architecture, physics, and agricul- ture. Courses which involve much use of statistical charts and graphs lend themselves well to television methods. By radio alone a teacher would have to use 10,- 000 words to describe data which, registered in black and white for the eye to scan, could be grasped in a few sec- onds. The visual educators say that 83 per cent of learn- ing comes through the eye. Instruction by television will, therefore, combine both sight and sound methods. David Sarnoff, president of Radio Corporation of America, has announced that 31,000,000 will be spent in building a transmitting station in the New York metropolitan district, in constructing receivers, and in program service. In the beginning, transmission will be limited to a radius of about twenty-five miles, but the images are expected to show ten times the detail of the crude experimental pictures of a few years ago. One pessimistic Writer proclaims that television is still, like prosperity, just around the cornerf' He also points out that television will have the opposition of sports pro- moters, for who will pay to go to athletic events if he can stay at home and distinctly see the events? This may be true, but, obviously, the assets will out- weigh the liabilities, and television just cannot be denied. -john Heald

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20 THE DIAL around with a scowl on his face, trying to think of a poem as good as the one published in THE DIAL during his senior year. Robert has made quite a fortune as an artist who keeps the past out of pastels. What a tan this fellow has! Yes, it's Pepper Martin, as bronzed as an Indian. Well, why shouldn't he be? After the historic B. H. S.-Keene game, life became so boring that he went to Texas and has been throwing the bull ever since. Vernon Vernott, being a bachelor and a lover of kids, opened a sanitorium for homeless waifs and now spends his idle moments in the day nursery. Hilda Gomez fell in love with a financial genius and now raises greyhounds with her excess cash. Donald Mitchell had a desire to do great things. He is now head of the musical department at the White House. He is an accomplished musician on the musical saw. Eloise Bradley toured the States and found the fountain of youth. She is now good for sixty years more. Marjorie Barnes ran for the Massachusetts guberna- torial seat and lost. Cooking had not been included in her course and she made the unfortunate mistake of inviting her foremost supporters to a luncheon prepared by her- self before the election. Evelyn Bates and Alicia Beals took a trip to the mint in Washington and met two Senators from Louisiana. They now teach the original hilly-billy goose-step to the socialites at tea parties held on the White House lawn. The Saxtons River district is proud of its ultra-efiicient game warden, Edward Carpenter. It is rumored that Edward tramps the streams and scans the hillsides trying to find a fallacy in what Mr. Chaffey used to tell him about Nature. Carl and Florence Houghton went West and began a turkey farm. The turkeys multiplied so fast that they now overrun the country. If you have said delicacy on Thanksgiving, you may be sure that these two had a hand in it. Marie Amidon was not content to be just the belle of Putney but wanted to get to the top. Barnum and Bailey Circus now considers her as their leading feminine aerial- ist. Who's this distressed looking individual? Why, it's Ernest Wood! He was left a fortune and lost it all in the stock market crash of '45. Behind him is the eternal paradox, Betty Stevens. She is bedecked in furs bought from the receipts of the seventh edition of her auto- biography, Love in a V Eight. Evelyn jennison and Helen Mulroney are a decided advantage to the surgical staff of the Brattleboro Memorial hospital. They are searching, among other things, for the B, U. in man-Biological Urge. Anita Tucker is a brain specialist at the Brattleboro Retreat. She gained her experience by watching the antics of B. H. S. undergraduates. From the headlines of the New York Times we learn that Leslie Klinefelter has become America's foremost dust-eater by winning his second Indianapolis speedway race. We always knew that he was a fast fellow! Someone inquired about Alice Martin and Bill Goadby. Their A La Carte hot dog stand located on the Greenfield Road, now serves the best weenies between here and the Pacific Coast. Robert Chapin who stopped there one day, ate so many that he was taken to the Brattleboro Memorial Hospital. He married the nurse! Beautiful Peg Douglas has just entered. After her superb performance in Behind Closed Doors, she joined a traveling stock company which had no doors to close. Her natural beauty was soon recognized, and she now has become New York's foremost character actress. Louise French went into solitude after graduating, and now gives lessons to High School students in the art of concentration, and the ability to defend one's self from the opposite sex. Alyce Sadd married a minister and now carries on wel- fare work among Hindsdale atheists. Harold Barry because of his daring and belligerent pugnacity is now the light feather-weight champion of the United States. His one mistake was that he overtrained and became muscle bound. One night, he experienced a reflex and knocked himself cold. Bill Lindsey, who joined the Navy to see the world, got so badly beaten up during his first scrap that he came home and took a correspondence course in needle work. He now teaches this subject at the old ladies home. During the last Kentucky Derby, Alice Bailey staked her flower made fortune on High Stepper, a horse trained and ridden by that noted equestrian Harold Blodgett. She lost her money because on the home stretch, the horse sighted a patch of blue grass, decided that it was dinner time, and took time out to eat. Dorothy Anderson and Ajlill Auguston made the big- gest hit of the season over the Major Bowes' amateur program. They have now reached international fame as co-directors of Fred Waring's Pennsylvanians. Patou and Chanel, famous Parissiene dress designers, have been constantly in a row trying to secure Margaret Stark as the model for their inimitable creations. Margaret is noted for her poise and debonaire nonchalance. Delma Nesbitt has become so well known that his picture appears in the papers at least once a week. He poses as Old Man Coffee Nerves for the Postum Ad- vertisements. H Kermit Baker and Alfred Burroughs have just entered. Each has a beard that would make the House of David look sick. As Co-editors of the Smith Brothers' Chronicle, they are even a bigger success. We hear that when their whiskers get too long, they merely lean closer to their typewriters, and let the keyboard do the rest. The Davy Tree Surgery Company has advanced rapidly since Maynard Brown joined the ranks. One day he was ordered to graft a tree. Being very honest he slammed on his hat and said, I'll leave that to the government. Maynard Walker rose to fame when he composed a