Branton Junior High School - Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

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THE LIGHTER SI Unanswered: Ad in the morning paper. “Man wanted to work in dynamite fac¬ tory. Must be willing to travel.” Two ladies arrived at the ball park just as the batter hit a home run. They watched the game quietly until the same batter, several innings later, hit another home run. One of the ladies leaned over and said, “Let’s go. This is where we came in.” The Hard Way: Slippery ice, very thin, Pretty girl, tumbles in. Saw a boy on the bank, Gave a shriek as she sank. Boy on bank heard her shout, Jumped right in and pulled her out. Now he’s her’s very nice, But first she had to break the ice. A French teacher, who was trying to get a hard lesson across to the class, said, “If you say a word ten times you will have it for life.” As the teacher looked around the room, he heard one of his girl students saying in a low voice, “Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom.” A Mother tiptoed into her little boy’s room, to keep him from being frightened during an electrical storm. The child opened his eyes and mumbled, “What’s Daddy doing with the TV set now?” Mrs. Gavinchuck: Delano, can you tell me how iron was discovered? Delano: I heard my father say they smelt it. The decrepit old car drove up to the toll bridge. “Fifty cents,” said the gateman. “Sold”, replied the driver. Doctor: Was it while you were on the football team that you got hurt? Boy: Oh, no, sir. It was while the football team was on me. Visitor: Is your brother planning to marry? Little boy: I don’t think so — he’s studying for a bachelor’s degree. “Company attention,” barked the ser¬ geant. “Every man lift up his left leg and hold it straight out in front of him.” A nervous rookie held up his right leg, next to his buddie’s left leg. “O kay,” snaped the sergeant. “Who’s the wise guy holding up both legs?” A motorist, filling in an accident re¬ port, wrote: “I was backing out of a parking space, and by the time I had backed out far enough to see what was coming, it already had.” DE OF BRANTON In the Egyptian room of the museum, two boys stopped before a mummy in a mummy case bearing a card with the notation: 2453 B.C. “What do you suppose 2453 B.C. means ?” whispered one boy. “I don’t know,” replied the other? “Unless it’s the license number of the car that hit him.” Mr. Scheer: What is the outstanding contribution that chemistry has made to the world? Gary: Blondes. Mr. Smith took his niece to the ballet. The little girl watched the ballerinas dancing on tiptoe a while, then turned to her uncle and asked, “Why don’t they get taller girls?” A teenager sent his girl her first orchid. Enclosed was this note: “With all my love and most of my allowance.” Definition of quadruplets—Four crying out loud. A fat man and a very thin man col¬ lided on the street, to the annoyance of both. The fat man looked at the thin man and sneered: “From the looks of you, there’s been a famine around here.” “From the looks of you,” retorted the thin man, “you caused it.” Doctor: How’s the boy who swallowed the half dollar? Nurse: No change yet, Doctor. “George?” Asked the biology teacher, “where is the elephant found?” George scratched his head in despair and then brightened. “The elephant,” he said, “is such a large animal it’s almost never lost.” He: If you owned two ducks and a cow what would you have? She: I don’t know. He: Quackers and milk. Confucius might have said: To be able to speak in many languages is valuable, but to be able to be quiet in one is priceless. Doctor: And what is your age, madam? Patient: I never tell my age, but as a matter of fact I just reached twenty- eight. Doctor: Really? What detained you? It is nice for children To have pets, Until the pets Start having children. Fifty-One

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