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Page 46 text:
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Mistakes In this fast moving world there are many so-called experts. But from what I can gather the reason they’re where they are is because they know how to cover up their mistakes. For example if a dentist slips with the drill or makes a mess of a tooth he just pulls it and throws it away, in fact some dentists will pull them all and try to sell you a whole new set. When a lawyer can’t win a case for his client he doesn’t need to worry because if he wins, the man is innocent and the lawyer gets a pat on the back because everything likes to see the guilty punished. The school teachers cover up their mistakes of the year by blaming the student and failing them. But the doctor has them all beat because of he makes a mistake with the slip of the knife or a wrong diagnosis, he sends his patient to the undertakers, who benefit because of it. This is the case in all professions. So a suggestion to all hard working school students, if you are planning to make a name for yourself in the business world just learn how to cover up your mis¬ takes better than the other fellow. DELANO LEE, 9C EXCUSE DICTIONARY First Used by Junior High School Students, Now Adopted by Teachers. A—absent B—brain didn’t work C—can’t find my book D—dad couldn’t do it E—energy exhausted F—friend came over G—gone gallavanting H—had a headache I—I forgot it J—just too hard K—key to locker is lost L—little sister tore my book M—must have left it at home N—nobody wanted to help me O—omitted it P—page got torn Q—quiet, doing it now R—ran out of paper S—sore arm T—TV was good U—understood nothing V—very hard to do W—went babysitting X—’xtra ’xcuse Y—you gave us too much Z—zero. Forty-Four DONNA CALLBECK
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Page 45 text:
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LITERARY The Shoe The shoe is the basis upon which modern civilization stands. If it were not for the shoe, people would crowd around the equator to keep warm. The shoe was not invented by any one person. The shoe probably originated with the Babylonians. Their idea was a piece of hide (usually from either a donkey, rhinoceros, or some other local animal) held to their feet by a strap which ran between their toes and joined another strap around their heel. The purpose of this “shoe” was to protect their feet from sharp stones, hot sand and broken glass from coke bottles which passing chariots had thrown along the highway. Since then, 15,921 shoemakers have contributed to the shoe’s improvement. Today the shoe comes in all shapes and sizes. There are big ones, small ones, tall ones, short ones, heel-less ones, toe-less ones, and shoe-less ones. The uses today also differ from the time of the Babylonians. Today’s uses are 1. spanking little boys’ bottom when they are bad; 2. housing the old woman who lived in a shoe; 3. throwing at a chorus of cats in the middle of the night, and 4. tying on the back of a “Just Married’ car. P.S.—Some use them for walking. GEORGE FORSTER, 8A My Lessons They laughed when I sat down at the piano—some fathead had pulled the stool away. After that unfortunate mishap I decided the piano was for the birds, so I started the accordion. The accordion has several modern names, such as the squeeze box, the wrinkle machine, or the standard version, the stomach pincher. My first lesson got off with a bang, when I couldn’t get the straps to fit properly. First, I got it on, but soon discovered the straps were too tight, for when I opened the bellow, then closed them, I half tore the shirt off my back, and almost thought I had dislocated my shoulder. Then, I got it so loose that the accordion was down to my knees. After fifteen minutes of putting on, and taking off, I finally got the accordion to fit quite well. I settled down in my chair, to get on with my lesson, only to find that I had a 48 bass accordion instead of a 32 bass. Now after several lessons they’re actually trying to play with one hand stretched a foot or more out, trying to find which button to play, to watch the music, press half a dozen keys at the same time, and trying to count out loud. Next, after play¬ ing half a dozen pages of music you discover repeat bars, and so after all you’ve been through you have to start over again. They say it’s a pleasure to be able to play the accordion. After all I’ve gone through, all I’ve accomplished is a sore stomach, sore wrists, sore shoulders, and a pair of crossed eyes. After all this, if your plan is to take up the accordion for something to do, let me tell you there is no easy way to success. Take it from me! Forty-Three CAM INGLES
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