Branksome Hall - Slogan Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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30 The Branksome Slogan accent that the Professor had difficulty understanding them, but as soon as the} moved on he hastened to tell the proper officials to stop the outrage. The surprised officials not unnaturally refused to believe the strange story told by a funny little old man dressed in a rusty black suit stained with egg and spinach. They thought that he had a touch of the sun and had him placed in the psychiatric ward of the hospital. There the poor Professor remained until four o ' clock, at which time there was a loud explosion. The bomb was a complete success — the building and the senator were both completely demolished. Then came the police. Professor Metterklume was removed to the nearest police station, where he was questioned for the next hour. At the end of that time he was taken back to the Fair to try to identify the two men. Every man, who was at the Fair, was lined up and the Professor was marched down the line. At the end of the second hour, the Professor had to be put in a wheel-chair but still the line stretched on. Suddenly about eleven o ' clock the Professor gave a shout and pointed out the two men. They are the guilty ones, he screamed, and at his words the men drew their revolvers. One fired point blank at poor Pro- fessor Metterklume. He clutched his stomach and feebly twitched his legs but gradually lost consciousness, and was taken to a hospital. When the Professor came to, he learnt to his dismay that his Audio- phier had been irreparably damaged by the bullet, but had saved his life. He was still bemoaning his loss when a police sergeant entered and told him that the men, who had been captured, were wanted by the police and the Professor would receive a reward of ten thousand dollars. Professor Metterklume was able to retire, and although he never made another Audiophier he is now quite happy growing giant tomatoes in the country. PENELOPE WALDIE, Form TV A.

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The Branksome Slogan 29 The Audiophier In the spring of 1939, Professor Pompejus Metterklume completed his greatest invention, the Audiophier. The Audiophier at first sight resembles a small black box which can easily be carried in a pocket. When, by means of a battery, an electrical current is applied, the Audio- phier enables the carrier to hear the sUghtest sound within a radius of twenty-five square feet. The professor was greatly pleased with his new invention and resolved to spend one complete day with it in his pocket. He decided that he would spend that day at the World ' s Fair, and see if the audio- phier worked as he hoped that it would. On the morning of the experiment the Professor rose early and after a scanty breakfast set out for the Fair. His excitement grew while he was on the bus, for to his delight he could hear the conversation of two women several rows in front of him. To be sure they were only discussing the neighborhood gossip, and the Professor was not interested in either Mrs. Jones ' dirty chshcloths or Mrs. Johnson ' s new spring suit, but still he had at least proved that his invention was practical. At the Fair, Professor Metterklume soon learnt how very useful the Audiophier could be, for he heard two men behind him deciding how they would pick his pockets. At once the Professor put his own hands in his trouser pockets and thus was able to save their contents, which consisted only of fifty-two cents in small change, a piece of string, five matches and a packet of chewing gum. Unfortunately he did not notice that the thieves had removed his wallet from his coat pocket. While looking at various inventions, the Professor found still another use of the Audiophier. He saw two other inventors approaching him and distinctly heard Dr. SchwizenhofT say to Professor Hoffenzwisch, ' 0h I There ' s old Metterklume, the old ass, I suppose we have to speak to the bore, bother him ! But when they met. Dr. Schwizenhoff greeted him, My dear Pompejus, I am so glad to see you again. W e have not met for years. Do come and have lunch with Hoffenzwisch and me. The Professor could hardly refrain from telling them about his wonderful Audiophier, but he left them as soon as possible without mentioning it. After a very meagre lunch, for he had discovered his loss, the Pro- fessor began his greatest adventure. It was while he was examining some excellent examples of quartz and not paying any attention to the conversations about him, that suddenly he heard a voice say in gutteral accents, ' bomb . Instantly he became attentive and glancing over his shoulder saw two men conversing together in low tones. Although one w as tall and thin and the other short and fat, they both wore dark over- coats, and fedoras pulled down over their eyes. Their conversation was confined to the details of placing a bomb in one of the buildings where a very famous senator was to speak. They spoke with such a strange

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The Branksome Slogan 31 In Praha During the Sokol Festival Praha, Czechoslovakia, is very picturesque at any time but on the occasion of the Sokol Festival the crowds with their bright native costumes make the city appear very quaint. The second day after our arrival we were off to the mountain at the top of which was situated the large arena in which the demonstration was held. Just as we arrived, it began to rain, but, luckily, we were in the grandstand and were as comfortable as could be expected. During the entire afternoon there w as a stead} downpour; but, nevertheless, the performance went on and it was amazing to see the number of spectators who remained standing in the rain during the whole afternoon. It was the most fascinating performance I ever expect to see ; hun- dreds of performers were on the field at the same time ; to be exact, there were 16,000 men and women, boys and girls. Toward the end of the afternoon, the boys and girls were performing in puddles of water, and slipping in the mud. Although this was a great disadvantage there were few slips. The Czechoslovakian people were not the only participants. Britain the United States, and many other countries were represented. The evening performance was cancelled because the rain had ruined the lighting system. This was a great disappointment to us all. It was to have consisted of feats upon the parallel bar, the high bar, the elephant, and other such types of gymnastics. Another event during our stay at Praha was the great parade. To see this, we rose at six o ' clock in the morning and walked through the streets to our seats. We arrived at our destination about seven forty-five, and waited until nine for something to happen. It took four hours for the parade to pass. It was a magnificent spectacle in which all the countries