Bradley University - Anaga Yearbook (Peoria, IL)

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DVHWCG CCIlOIAlC Clliil Drincess Dl6lCl Characters Diet-King of Land of' Purefood. Caloric-Son of King Diet. Pieta-Princess of Piedom. Tryptophan--Princess. Dr. Nutrition-Court Physician. Di-Jester-Court Fool. Just-as-Good--Hermit. Vaxthin-One of the Purine Bases. l-lypoxanthin-One of the Purine Bases. Microba. Acute Gastritis-Guard of Prison Hunger. Pielika Pielova Waiting maids to Pieta. Pieadora Queen of Haphazzard, Microbitis, Amino Acids, Knights, Proteins, Fats, Carbohydrates, Enzymes-Court Musicians. COURSE I. fThe first scene discovers the king's audience chamber, hung with Atwater and other nutrition charts Cshowing for example the origin of' cow products, of cocoa, of malted milk, et ceteraj sewing as tapestries. King Diet is seated on a throne constructed of cans with conspicuous Pure Food labels. His robe is of royal purple. On his head he wears a Hour sifter for a crown, and in his hand he holds a large iron mixing spoon as scep'ter. About the throne stand the court attendants-bold knights, holding tablets on which are written the pure food laws: the Proteins, a goodly band of fair youths and maidens: the Fats, jolly round jesters, the Carbohydratesg stately dames to whom the knights pay honor, and little Enzyme pages. At a signal from the Court Musicians, two pages, Purine Bases, Xanthin and Hypoxan- thin, draw aside the heavy curtains and in dance the little Amino Acids, dressed as gnomes, brownies or little people. Tryptophan alone is beautiful, and after the Amino Acids have danced and tumbled about, she has a graceful solo dance. After generous applause from the courtiers, the King dismisses the attendants and dancers alike, that he may have audience with his son Caloric.1 King D.-O, my son Caloric, why risk thy life outside the realm of Purefood? Suppress thy youthful ambition and remain within the bounds of temperate rcpast. Let not thy eagerness lead thee into the snares of I-lypcrglysemia. Dost thou not know that on the very outskirts of our kingdom lurks the monster Alimentary Glycosuria? Why dost thou wish to battle with such dragons? I pray thee, stay by thy aged father and be the companion of his declining years. Save thyself from microbas enchantment and from the pitfalls of Protein Metabolism. If thou wilt stay in my house, my good friend, Dr. Nutrition, will determine for thee the coefficient of digestibility of all thy exogenous foods. He will study the respiratory quotient' and if need be, my Court Di-Jester will be at thy service. Wilt thou live happily in the land' of Purefood with thy father and be content to woo the Princess Tryptophan? Caloric-Nay, father, I do long to venture forth and satisfy my desire for untried delicacies. I promise to be true to the laws of thy kingdom. Moreover, I hope to bring hack a maid even fairer than Tryptophan. King D.-If thou must go, take with thee my trusty fool, the Court Di-Jester, and for thy faithful advisor whose counsels thou must ever heed, I send our court physician, Dr. Nutrition, to protect thee from the ravages of pathogenic protozoo, wear this coat of mail Cmade of nice dish clothsj. Never part thyself from it. Hold always in thy left hand this impenetrable shield ton which are to be inscribed the words, Guaran- teed Under the Food and Drugs Act, June 30, 190G l to guard thee from the attacks of Bacillus Prodigeosus. Lest in the darksome night, thou shouldst wander unwittingly into the treacherous Realm of Piedom,T give thee atlaming torch to light the waytdish mopj. When thy heart fainteth and there is no food nigh to sustain thee, strengthen thyself with this nectar Cpresenting a large can of soupl. Go, then, on thy way. Mayst thou meet none but subjects of the Realm of Purefood until thy return. lPrince bows: father descends from throne puts arm thru Caloric's and they leave room.1 26

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' lv. Pllpini HE young Father Delmonte was sick at heart. Life was so different from what he had expected. Here he was twenty-three years of age, consecrated to the priesthood, with a mind full of great visions of a life of service for God and for humanity. And what was he doing? He looked out over the muddy field and sighed. Above him shells were shrieking through the air like a March wind. The hum of the aeroplanes, like big mosquitoes, could be heard in the distance. Now and then, there came the thunder of a cannon, or the crack and hiss of a shrapnel shell. It was hot, very hot. In front of him, a soldier had just put his rifie between the sandbags and the priest heard the whip-like crack as the man tired. Some poor Austrian gone, I supposef' he muttered. l-le shut his eyes but that did not shut out the sound. O God, he prayed, why must such things he? But since they do exist, help me to be loyal to Thee and to my country. Avanto! Avanto! With the instinct of a true soldier, Father Delmonte Sprang forward. The soldiers scrambled hurriedly out of the trenches and the charge was on. And opposite came the gray-clad Austrians, advancing amid a rain of bullets, their rifles shining in the sun. It was a murderous attack. Three times the two lines met and three times they rolled back again, nothing accomplished, but leaving the best of the men stretched out on the field. The young priest was in the thick of the fight, with a smile on his face as he encouraged the soldiers. Here was a man, wounded, he stooped to stanch the blood. There was a dying soldier, he gently closed his eyes. Suddenly, he looked up. The third attack was just over. But where were the line of officers of the battalion? I-Ie strained his eyes, but not one was to be seen. They all had fallen. just then his eye lighted on the regimental flag, which seemed to be wavering. His teeth grew set. Should it, too, fall, the Hag of the IV Alpini, which never had touched the ground? Please God, it should not. He snatched a ritie from a wounded soldier, and with a cry, Avanto ! he rushed to the standard, raised it on high and led the men in the fourth counter attack. It was evening. All was quiet in the little hospital, save over in one corner, where a nurse was conversing in low tones with a dying man. It's all right, young Father Delmonte was saying, It's all right. So the men won in the fourth attack, did they? I'm so glad. Something sputtered, and then I didn't know any more. But it's all right. I did my duty -his voice was growing weaker- I did my duty, and now, I'm going -his voice dropped to a whisper- Hgoing home-home-to God. -L B. HAZZARD. Wliip-Door-Will Through the dusky veil of night, Wlien the tiretlies' lanterns light, And there's not a star in sight, O'er the hill comes Whip-poor When the twilight weeps her dew, And the sky is darkest blue, Hang the star-flowers pale and few, Sad and shrill floats Whip-p Blythe the cricket chirps his lay, Frogs, carouse in chorus gay, I-lark a lone cry seems to say, Life is ill, Whip-poor-will. oor-wi 25. -will. Tell nie, why so sad thy song, In the night hours deep and longg Hath some creature done thee wrong? t'Peace, be still, Whip-poor-willf' Is thy heart so full of woe, As the seasons come and go, That thy song no joy can show? Sadly shrill Whip-poor-will. Try to trust in heaven's love, And the holy One above, Cease thy mourning, like the dove, Fear not ill, Whip-poor-will. -Esther june Thompson.

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WRYQMH COURSE II. lSetting-A forestg from the branches of the trees hang strange fruits, candy canes, candy kisses, while gingerbread dogs and cats sit among the branches. In the back- ground is the hut of Just-As-Good. Caloric, Dr. Nutrition and Court Di-Jester come in much fatigued.J Caloric-Let's tarry here and partake of some refreshments, good fellows. Fool-CI-Iunting in vain for the can of soup, replies faintlvl : M' Lord, the can-I have it not. Caloric-tTurning to Dr. Nutritionj: What says the fellow, he has it not? Shall we then not try these delicacies, on yon tree? CTakes a piece of gingerbread.D Fool-Aye, M' Lord, pray let me fetch refreshment from the Forest of Sweets. Whose can be these trees? They do look enchanting. Surely here I can find food. Wilt thou let me go to enquire? 1'll be there and return before thine appetite has grown an inch. Dr. Nutrition-Not so fast, 1ny boy. I do remember good King Diet warned us of the monster Hyperglysema, who dwells in his forest, and nigh him lurks the even tiercer dragon, Alimentary Glycosuria. I beseech thee, Prince, let not thy servant, unprotected, penetrate beyond the outskirts of the Forest of Sweets. Caloric-Thou art a noble servant to advise me thus. tThrows aside gingerbreadj Here, Fool, take my shield and go ahead. Mayhap thou wilt come upon a hunter's lodge near by where we may tind refreshment. Give me thy staff tturning to Dr. NJ for I am faint for food. lThe Jester goes ahead and presently comes running back.J Fool-M' Lord, beyond these trees there is a hermit's hut, and above the door there is a name I neler have seen before. Caloric-What is the name? Fool-'Tis Just-As-Good M'Lord. fTurning to Dr. NJ Hast heard of it, good sir? Dr. N.-Nay but King Diet warned us of naught like. that. Lets' hnd the owner. Fool-CAs hermit comes out of his hut wearing an apron with long stringsjz There he is, M' Lord. - Hermit-Welcome, strangers. . Caloric-Greetingg we are travelers who have lost their way. Hermit-Ye look weary. Will ye rest while I bring food? Dr. N.--This is truly a strange place. Calorie--tTaking off his armour and laying his shield asidejz Fool, thou didst bring us to a hospitable threshhold. Yea, I pardon thee for thy carelessness. fThe Hermit returns with various canned goods, crackers and candy in bulk. The Jester becomes interested and Dr. N. examines them.1 Dr. N.-These are strangely like some I have seen before, yet not the same. Hermit-Nay, thou hast never seen these same before, I make them on this very spot. They are Just-As-Good. Eat heartily, friends. lThey all eat with relish, especially the Jester. Toward the end of the meal they become interested in the Hermit.J Dr. N.-Hast thou spent all thy life in these woods? IIermit-Nay, I have lived a hunted life. Many years ago I dwelt in a kingdom far away. It was when King Diet tirst began his reign. tCaloric listens with interest.J I used to make what you see here. Oh! it was a. hard life. There were many laws and cruel restrictions. Terrible rumors spread about the land of standard weights and measures, and wise men pondered over laws requiring labels on all goods which would exactly tell what had been used in the making of them-as if a man eouldn't put in what he pleased as long as it would sell. It was too much for me. I tied from the land of Purefood and have lived a life of seclusion ever since. I still cling to my old trade, however, and business is much better here where is it not so public. Dr. N.-Then this food did not come from the land of Purefood? Hermit-Nay, good sir, I make it myself. It is Just-As-Good. Jester-CTO the Hermit, eating the whilej: I like the recipes right well. Didst bring them from the Royal kitchen? Dr. N.-CSpeaking aside to Caloricb: Noble Prince, we are indeed in grave danger. This fellow is an outcast of thy father's realm, and' we have eaten at his table. Not even acids and bases can save us if we abide in this place. Contlnni-d on p. 199 27