Boys High School - Epitome Yearbook (Reading, PA)

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62 THE EPITOME Joseph Philip Turner, jr., is still experimenting. He never seems satisfied. At present he is trying to dope out a way to eat bananas without first removing the skins, because he wants to save the Quija Islanders a lot of trouble. Under- taker Earl Breneman is keeping his eyes on Turner, he's sure he can't eat many more banana skins and survive. Jimmy Loose is one of Breneman's ap- prentices, and Breneman has just taught him the art of inducing a prospect to take a drink of embalming fluid, My, what an eye for business! The little antique shop at Fifth and Vlfalnut Streets is owned by Walt Mason and Bob Hawman. Since it is the only place where genuine antiques can be bought, the business is so rushing that they can hardly make them fast enough. While most of the class seem happy and well disposed, a few are not. Willis Sassaman and Karl Schaeffer attempted to pull a 'fMutt and Ieffi' show in the Pictureland, and, as a result. are spending a few weeks at the Reading Hospital. They have lots of Company, however, as Hen Thomas' Tennis Team is also there. Ralph Snyder and 'fjohnnyn Stout are convinced that pop bottles are not made of paper. Geier Freehafer and Art Bechtel turned out to be carpenters. Freehafer did so much sawing on his bass violin at High School that he couldn't resist becoming a carpenter. Bechtel was no mean scraper himself. Harlan Althouse is married and makes a good housewife. He doesn't believe that a woman should do such vulgar things as peel potatoes, so he does it himself. A wonderful example for the rest of us. 5 Hip Anderton and Grant Bechtel are touring Africa as salesmen. They are selling overcoats and galoshes, and, according to their last letter, they expect business to improve as soon as it gets cold. Out in Hollywood our class is represented by two of its well-known sheiks, Scott Herr and Amos Rinker. In the play in which they are acting, written by Thomas Barnett, novelist, Herr rushes up to the gang of thugs and slays them all, thereby saving a fair lady. Then, as Scott is joyfully marrying her, Sheik Rinker rushes in-but don't miss the picture, it's a reel thriller. At last Bi1l!' Brown got the position he wanted for a long time-a job with nothing to do and lots of it. He, with the aid of Quentin Weidner, keeps the people from crowding in the Penny Arcade at Carsonia. Floyd Rosenthal is also there, guessing people's weight. He learned to guess so beautifully while trans- lating Latin in High School. VVillard Leh and Conrad Falter are veterinarians. Their main object, how- ever, is to collect different species of fleas for Louie Heller, great flea specialist. Heller intends to collect the whole flea family and present them to his wife for a birthday present. Gus Drexler is the proud captain of a croquet team. Fish Hearing and Claude Hangen also play on the team, and at times they have some terribly rough games. The two greatest travelers in the class are Stanley Bibbus and john Boussum. They travel many miles each day, but always get back to the same place, because they are only conductors on a trolley car.

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THE EPITOME 61 Harry Miller and john McLeod are strangely connected in business. Miller has a bakery shop, and every time he sells some buns to a customer he hands him one of McLeod's name cards. McLeod is a painless dentist. Brookman Painter and Howie Boyer are still in college. It's miraculous how those two can keep from getting kicked out. VVhen someone asks Painter whether he is still going to college, he says, UO, deah, nog I go to Haavadf' Juke Anderton and Alivicious Vath are Hyweights in the professional ring and pull fake fights, Vath letting Juke knock him out. Anderton claims it's great fun. So does Vath. At the Reading High School we find John Douros and Francis Conway try- ing to teach chemistry. Douros mixed a new kind of tooth paste one day-a kind that would make teeth white and keep them white. He gave it to Conway to try, and now Conway has pure white teeth-they're also false. Sam Kozloff and Dick Abraham are pawnbrokers and get along second- rate. They buy a lot of their products from Harold Sallada and Elmer Smith, who are running a fast moving junk business. Sallada drives the wagon, while Smith collects the junk. Harry Merkel owns a cigar store and gives Eddie Schmauder free cigars, provided he smokes them in front of his door. Merkel says it saves the price of a wooden Indian. Sad to relate, Fred Hoffer and Walt Finch are residing in that venerable brownstone mansion near Eleventh and Penn because they cheated in a marble tournament. Fred Perella is a fireman. This is just a disguise, however, for with his two-gallon l'lI'61113.11,S hat he smuggles pre-war stuff into Warren Dresher's Orientale Garden, where they have dancing until 9 o'clock, a terribly wild place. The music is furnished by Dave Dickinsonls Orientale Antiques, and John Delp, who had a marvelous blowing power in his High School days, blows the trumpet in the orchestra. The Trailer Sleuth Company, headed by Bob Mattern, has been after Dickinson for sometime for disturbing the peace. Mattern, it seems, learned the art of trailing while running on our cross-country team. Spence', Smith is happily married and lives on a farm. He raises his chil- dren and chickens, and has quite a Hock of them, too. Earl Rickenbach is at present running an extensive campaign for the presi- dency of the anti-Liquor League. His henchmen, Theodore johnson and Carl Snyder, are fast roping in the public with a fragrant brand of five-cent cigars and a smooth line of fiction. Running in competition with him is Dick Beyerle, who is now a strict adherent to Volstead's law. Of great interest to us is the new Roller Skating Club originated by Allen Ritter, the only requirements for entrance being the ability to skate. Claude Glase recently made a noble attempt to enter the club, but was found too duck-toed to pass the requirements. According to all predictions, Ted Price has become a minister. VVhile performing the marriage rites of Red Ribble's wedding, someone started whist- ling Charleston Blues and the wedding broke up in a contest between Ribble and Price. Ribble and f'Wally!' Miller have gone into the boot and shoe business, and they're real good shoemakers. They claim they're going to stick to the last.

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THE EPITOME 63 Poor Johnny Bair! I-le always looks downcast. Ever since he became a dentist he's been looking down in the mouth. After studying pharmacy for ten years, Johnny Adams has at last become a farmer and is doing nobly. He is trying to raise salted peanuts. Miles Ocksrider and Charley VVise are in the moving business. Charley takes after his last name and grabs the piano stool when a piano is to be moved. 'flolinnyi' Martin and Alf Rogers are very prominent civil engineers in llphrata. Their latest great achievement was the construction of a stone step in front of Rogers' home. We are sure that Seymour Ziff and Fat'l Smith are the best business men in the class, however, because they have a sale planned for every week in the year for their clothing store, and have even decided how to collect the fire insurance at the end of the year. - Harold Reifsnyder and Oscar Mclntosh are now called the :'Pied Pipers because of the great number of children who follow their ice cream wagon. They are a great menace to Jimmy Lindenmuth's business, as jimmy has an ice cream parlor, and he swears he'll poison their horse if they donyt keep out of his neighborhood. Sure enough! One of our brilliant classmates has become a mathematician. 'Tis Sheldon Frankhouser himself. He helped Johnny Rothenberger,who is a track-walker, to figure out his income tax, and, according to Frankhouser's figures, the government owed johnny 5.31. Norman Kaplan is announcing trains at the Reading Depot. Fred Yeager is there also, and says that he'll.be chief clerk as soon as about forty more em- ployees die. As salesmen, Willie Spatz and Bob Kline are pursuing a great and noble purpose. Their great work consists of inducing the opium smokers in Chinatown to try Camels. Harold Blumberg admits hels a good lawyer. In his last case he succeeded in having his client imprisoned, which goes to prove that he's good. Philip Crystal, his client, refused to pay the two cents he borrowed from Burt Jones in High School, and, as a result, was given ten days. Adam Nowotarski, Ed Pettit and George Hain have gone to sea. They had the poor luck, however, to get on a bum vessel. At least, they call it a tramp steamer. And now, to end this tale of woe, we come to Mutt Poetter, our class valedictorian, who has reached the highest rung of success. He sells peanuts at the Pagoda. And may I say that I hope none of you are disappointed in your future positions, for this prophecy, which was revealed by the Fates, is absolutely true. I thank you.