Bourne High School - Canal Currents Yearbook (Bourne, MA)

Page 19 text:

Consolidated Mica Co., CAPITAL 5,000.000, Now offer a block of Treasury Stock at 75 per cent, per share; full paid and non-assessable. Mica is the only perfect insulator for Electricity and the only mineral in the world for which no substitute can be found. For particulars, address, F. M. Lawrence, CATAUMET, MASS. FOR The largest and best line of Stationery, A choice line of fresh and high grade Confectionery, And everything for Kodaks and Cameras, Go to Y. C. POST OFFICE BUILDING, Buzzards Bay, Mass.

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THE HIGH SCHOOL ECHO. A NEW ARITHMETIC. 1. If a cyclone trav els three hundred knots a minute, how long would it take an Egyptian mummy to fry a batch of dough- nuts? 2. If an insect has six legs and another has eleven, how many hornets does it take to lift a boy out of old man Sabine’s or- chard ? 3. A merchant bought four barrels of sugar, seven of molasses, and two of meal. Find what per cent, of beans he mixed with his coffee. 4. A beggar met two boys. One gave him eleven cents and the other gave him eight cents. Find the name of the third one who hit him in the ear with a snow-ball. 5. A tramp got two kicks at one house, a cold shoulder at another and a bite from a dog from a third. How long did it take to get into the workhouse for sixty days. 6. A father agreed to give his son four and one half acres of land for every cord of wood he chopped. The son chopped three- sevenths of a cord, broke the axe and went hunting rabbits. How much land is he entitled to? 7. A woman earned forty-two cents per day by washing and supported her husband who consumed four dollars worth of pro- visions per week. How much was she in debt at the end of each month, up to the time he was sent to the workhouse. ? 8. If a young man owns a little cane, a rat-and-tan dog, a pair of lavender pants, three flashy neck-ties, a frail mus» tache, a flirtation handkerchief and parts his hair in the middle of his senseless head, what will it cost to board six idiots at a third rate hotel for a year? 9. A certain young man walks five- sevenths of a mile for seven nights in a week to see his girl and after putting in 1 1 2 nights he gets the bounce, how many did he hoof it altogether and how many weeks did it take him to understand that he wasn’t wanted ? 10. A plumber is called upon to mend a leak in a water pipe. He sends an em- ployee who surveys the leak ; another who courts the servant girl ; a third who tries the new organ ; a fourth to look alter the other three. At this rate, how long will it take the plumber to secure a mortgage on the City Hall? TEACHERS’ TROUBLES. In our school-room whisp’ring’s suppressed, Eating apples and all the rest — “Five hundred words in one essay,” Waits for all thae disobey. Expulsion from school is laying low — P ' or the fellow that throws the snow At the building or in the hallway. And to him the teacher’ll say : “We do not want you any more. As you throw snowballs at the door ; . fter I commanded you to stop. Then you pasted it red-hot. “If you do not mend your way, In my school you can not stay ; This is not a primary school. But you persist in breaking rules.” Then to the boys he began to preach, For he could do it as well as teach, He would show us where we’re wrong And then would lay the law down strong. Then we would decide to see • ' ’ If we could not better be ; But before the school hours passed The teacher had us hard and fast. Bess; “So Jeannette married a farmer. I thought she said she would-- marry only a man of culture?” ' Nell “And so she did — a man of agriculture.” — Chicago News. Mean Way to Treat Neighbors. — “Those people across the hall must quarrel.” “Why?” “They keep their transome shut all the time.”

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THE HIGH SCHOOL ECHO. DRE. ' MLAND. I had a very singular dream last night. I dreamt of being “Rocked in the Cradle of the Deep.” I went rolling “Over the Ocean Wave” and was finally left on the shores of “The German Rhine.” I looked up the beach and saw a beautiful hall situated “ ’Mid Pleasures and Palaces.” There seemed to be a public entertainment ; people passed to and fro. In a large arm chair sat “My Pussy” and “Old Dog I ' ray.” “Nancy Lee” sat on “America” with her true friend “Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean.” I was much sur- piised when all began singing as a young girl entered, “Make Room for May” with “The Revolutionary Tea.” The “Merry Swiss Roy” came lagging along just as refreshments were being serv ' ed. He said he had come just to “Help it on.” Just behind came “The Spider and the Fly.” “Margerite and Juanita.” Quite a time elapsed before I noticed “Lucy Long” saunter in with “Nellie Gray.” As they came in. I saw “Yankee Doodle” wrapped in the “Star Spangled Banner” walk over to “The Girl I Left Behind Me,” and say, “Little Lucy Little” “Why Mournest Thou Here?’ ” She answered, “ T’m Left Here All Alone,” “My True Friend” went and left me, “Just as the Sun Went Down.’ ” My attention was then attracted by the “Men of Harlech’s” seeming quite alarmed at seeing “A Warrior Bold in the Days of Old” with an “Empty Sleeve” coming toward them. Their fear died away, how- ever, when they recognized the noble-looking, well-preserved old gentleman, “Columbia,” who, on account of his hale and hearty ap- pearance, was called “Hail Columbia.” He began his boring story of how he had escaped during the “Georgia Camp-Meeting,” from his old master “Way Down South in Dixie.” His friends began to look wearied and finally left him. During all this time the “Minstrel Re- turned from the War” had been sweeping the melancholy strings of “The Harp that once through Tara’s Hall,” “The soul of music under a shed” or words to that effect. I began to think of returning to my “Old New Hampshire Home” and so passed out into the “Stilly Night.” As I went out on to the cold beach and looked back upon the happy throng, I murmured, “ ‘O Wert Thou in the Cauld Blast?” I saw the first rays of the rising sun break- ing over the “Blue Alsatian Mountains” and so hurried on down the beach. There I saw “Two little Maids in Blue.” Just as I was stepping into my “Canoe that Floats on Forever,” I heard the songs of several other persons who were returning from their “Dreamland.” Among the rest I heard a number of jolly fellows “Coming through the Rye” (put up in quart bottles). And as they went they sang, “We won’t go home ’til morning.” Just as I was about to step into the “Cradle of the Deep,” I — awoke. SECRETARY HAY’S NEW RUSSIAN TREATY. A bit of diplomacy that cannot fail to flatter American pride, has been con- summated by the receipt, during the past month, of a written guarantee from the Russian government, that whatever might be the vicissitudes of the Celestial empire as to territorial disintegration, American trade treaties with China would continue valid. The Russian government was the last of the great powers to accord us this guarantee. This same assurance, as regards British treaty rights, has been sought in vain by the court of St. James for the past year. Some English papers have affected to regard this demand on the part of our .government, at this critical period of British history, as proof of our friendly feeling, even going so far as to intimate that our diplomatic machinery was set in motion through London influence. Nothing could arouse the latent Anglo- phobia so easily as statements of this kind. And the moral force of a probable ally with which England holds hostile Europe in check can be easily destroyed by assertions tending to prove an entente so at variance with our traditional policy. — “The National Magazine.”