Boston University School of Management - Syllabus Yearbook (Boston, MA)

Page 265 text:

SYLLABUS,.1923 . 5 Summer of 1921 came and again did the Malatra Mala journey to Ellsworth. While waiting the erection of a suitable mansion to house the entire Ellsworth Con- clave, we lived at the homes of various townsfolk, ever placing our brothers where they could diffuse the principles of Malatra Mala where they were most needed. Lefty Hobbs, recently appointed Lethargic Comptroller of Poker Paranoiacsf, was sent to the Holmes Estate in order to increase the stability of the Treasury and fas the official dispatch readsj to curb and restrain one 'Cambridge Jack Murray' and one Captain, The Honorable Frank O'Neil, from taking more than their pre- scribed share of silver from Soss Maloney, and from 'O you Eddie' Sexton, to instruct one Melvin Parker in the rudiments of tennis with the ultimate view of promoting a tournamentg and to give to one H. Spud Jennings various dissertations on the 'Handling of Men,' by Leonard Bernard Jones. How strange it must seem to those outside the pale to read of our intrigues, how we laid our plans years in advanceg how we shaped the destinies, not only of Ellsworth but also of old B.U. q But to resume-it is of course a well known fact that the Malatra Mala went to Maine last summer solely to engage in research work. The amazing discoveries of the Malatra Mala while there has completely revolutionized the old order of things. Wliat invention could be more far reaching and at the same time more sinister than the construction by G. Micky McGunigle, B.L., of the Malatragraph, that marvellous machine which can count the number of Hmotes that people a sunbeamf' As great as the Malatragraph was the discovery by Rodni Gould of a process to make cognac out of rain-water--it seems that after years of work Rodni, by adding a quart of cognac to a quart of water gets two quarts of X the unknown. Halo Maker Galligan received orders on the 19th of July to forthwith proceed to the mess hall there to learn the number of calories that each man received daily. Really a devilish job, you know, but Gal went at it with vigor as is his wont, and after two hours' work caught the calorie. He then took said calorie and placed it in the Natural lVIuseum of the Malatra lvlala in Siam. All this naturally explains why the men failed to put on weight after the 19th. We Went to Maine last summer, as l say, mainly to study. Somehow, though, We were inveigled into various athletic tournaments. We were wholly unprepared. Baron Kenelick was sent out at the last moment to procure equipment, but the Baron was not running true to form and returned with only two gloves, three balls, a bat, a bottle of Slikum, and a watch that would not rung a poor day's work for the Baron forsooth,-his fingers are sure stiffening up lately. As l say, having been drawn into these games we must proceed to go through and play for dear old Malatra Mala. Well, we defeated every team that opposed usg never lost a game, seemingly, to the unwashed hordes, a rema1'kable record but-the Malatra's-you know. And at croquet, milord, what a terrible beating we handed out to the Holmes Estate-really it was anything but charitable on our part to so completely baflie them -but there again-the Malatra's, you know. However, so bitterly disgruntled were the said Holmes Estate, that we felt abashedg so we decided to allow the next comer to vanquish us. CLoud Huzzahs for the Malatra Mala.D Who should our next opponent be but Tarzan Lonergan, the Rezoob King. We deliberately suffered defeat at his hands-really noble on our part, but nevertheless distressing, when said Tarzan repeated the story of his victory to all of Ellsworth. 268

Page 264 text:

,rr affq' SUMMER SCHOOL Bill McGinnis wrote up his Campaign speeches in his spare time. Joe French, under the oak tree, found solace in a dictionary fAh! the secret's out U Wlien Lester Roche had given his two youngest their baths, dressed them, fed them, dressed himself and helped his dear, little much-better half sweep out and dust and clean and cook and mend and darn and sew and had read his Spanish for the next day, he found it was time to undress the children and put them to bed. But what will he do when he gets four or live-hold on there! whoa! halt! Soss Maloney, by actual count, spent fourteen hours of the fifteen that he was awake in copying back work Cfor reference pu1'poses of course-not to pass inj. Eddie Sexton was ever helping Barlow Hall in making fudge for the Holmes Estate. Jack lylurray and Cap O'Neil in the daytime counted the money they had gleaned'l at poker the night before. George Jardine, the Iron Man, always had very important legal matters to talk over with his brother barrister, Jack Glynn. Deep stuff! Nobody yet understands how the famous case of Splivins vs. Splivins fI4 Pickering 13'6j came out. Jack Mclver, the Watch Dog of the lVIess, had truly every minute taken up in his thankless job. But let us here give three cheers for Jack-there's darn few of us could handle the job as he did. And Grafting Walter Dolliver, as they say in the press, was a hustler-his natural capacity of leadership made him an excellent leader of the F. B. men. I doubt if he and jack Mclver had a great amount of spare time-but if they were busy at the mess-hall they were spared the anguish of those in the House of Devereaux, who must listen to Dick Bostwick, the A.E.F. songbirdg or of the Chareejas at Mrs. Goodwin's who suffered the pains of the damned when Art Tileston and Dick Rebele were at practice. And so we all had our high spots and low spots- the higher the better, says George Davis. Many trips were taken. One section of the Malatra Mala went to Canada in order to-CI've forgotten why they wentj. We followed the ball team to Bar Harbor, Bangor, Castine and other places around-we staged our own inter- mural ball games, croquet games and tennis matches. Even a few marriages occurred. Meatball Joe Mccorry took unto himself a lovely bride. Frank Anselmo fell beneath the charms of a fair damsel. And the air of Ellsworth cast such a spell over Olaf', Henderson that he went scurrying to Boston to join the Benedicts. All too quickly the summer passed and school over, we departed-some were homesick and left the day school closed, others tarried to more thoroughly enjoy the fishing that Maine affords. But the opening of C.B.A. called and with happy thoughts of a most enjoyable summer, we answered. But next summer-WElLL BE THERE! THE MALATRA MALA Here is the story of the Malatra Mala, that widely known but darkly secretive archconfraternityg pre-eminently the greatest brotherhood that ever existedg the most powerful body ever conceivedg whose system of punishment is so dire that the bravest quail wheneler they think on it, the Malatra Mala-truly a name to be conjured with. The summer of 1920 saw us acting as ever under the prescribed ritual-We were living under canvas on Black's Field. Due to our extreme benevolence and our exemplary conduct, we ingratiated ourselves with the good Ellsworthites so that the spirit of welcome thereafter was synonymous with Enter here, Malatra Mala. ' 267

Page 266 text:

SUMMERGSCHOOL Chaplain Galligan demonstrated time and again his athletic prowess by defeating at croquet Mistress Helen Campbell, the twelve year old croquet champion of State Street. Gal, for the sake of lllalatra lVIala, has devoted his life to the refutation of the theories of Nietzsche, Darwin, Taussig, Rittenhouse and Kester. How intellectual the Malatra Mala isl Mickey McGunigle, be it known, is preparing again to tour the Foreign Capitals at the head of his Acrobatic Troupe, The Gyroscopic lVIalatras. He gave but one exhibition at Ellsworth, viz: that of bending the knee two ways-Qforward and back- ward. Dr. Parcher said on seeing Mickyls knee-etc., etc. Ponzi Jones, of the 5th for 6thJ U. S. Cavalry CRegular Armyj, accents his middle name on the last syllable-Ber-nard. St. Bernard dogs were given the honor of being named after him, through an official annuneiato of the lVIalatra Mala. Ponzi's coat of arms bears the motto, You work while I sleep. Red Gould, after several years of waiting, was admitted to the Malat1'a Mala. In searching his genealogical record, it was found that his g1'andparent in the eighth generation removed was obliterated from this terrestrial sphere for sheep annexation. Ordinarily, he would be denied admission on the strength of that-but pressure was brought to bear and further study revealed that the noose had slipped and the grand parent had escaped and lived long enough to gather many another sheep into his fold. Red was the only Malatra that we allowed to play on the B.U. Ball Team, except, of course, Meatball Joe lVIcCorry, who is naturally a ball.-player. Baron Kenefick lost two sheets from his portfolio when he missed speaking to an aged lady and a three months' old infant who passed him on lVIain Street,-the only people, it is true, that he ever failed to speak to. Baron generally attended school on Weclnesdzryfs. i Tubba Walsh and Hank Schnoebelen took up their abode at the Chateau Royal. Hank is a wonderful musician, he has six different instruments and is going to learn to play them some day. While in Ellsworth, he received the 6th degree in the Malatra Mala, viz.: the Order of the Fifth Carbunclef' Coming, though he does, from the Woolly West, he is learning rapidly the ways of the effete East and soon will enjoy Boston Baked Beans, the Atlantic Moiitlily and the Howard. Tubba became a com- plete circle when he received his 360th degree in the Archconfraternity. He was also decorated with the Order of the Embalmer's lllate. l Carberg, Worthy Appraiser of the Uninitiated Cohorts, was leased to the Cha- reejas to further unite the bond of friendship existing between the two orders. He was detailed as Oflicial Propagandist of the lVIalatra Mzila, and Wrote regularly and irregularly for the Bangor Commercial, one of the Malatra owned journals. Last in our history is the Chief Malatra Mala, Extraordinary Plenipotentiary with portfolio, Jack W. K. Glynn Cw.k.-well-knownj. Little is known of this unassuming lad except that during the Glynn dynasty, the Archconfraternity has in- creased and multiplied as the Good Book said it should. So far-reaching has been the work of the Malatra Mala that centuries must elapse before it can all be told. 269