Boston University College of Practical Arts and Letters - Sivad Yearbook (Boston, MA)

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“Vera Ambrose earned world fame for the articles entitled ‘Why Women Should Smoke.’ These were all written in Spanish and illustrated by the author. “Charlotte Armstrong profited by her experience in collecting money for Prom tickets way back in ’23, and became a collector for an Agency with a com- mission of two cents on the dollar. “Grace Barrett became the stern head of a Psycopathic Hospital, which was directed by a Board of Eminent Psychologists. “Anna Barry clerked for little “Sammy,’’ but said there never had been a proposal. “Elsie Bartsch was a Spanish Correspondent for a New York export house. “Pearl Bornstein moved to China in order to procure her brand of Chop Suey. Besides, no one was in a hurry there and it was a rule to be late. “Louise Bellows, the Class President, revised the teaching of Spanish verbs. The verbs were not taught after Miss Bellows became Director of Education. “Sadie Bixby hiked around the world, and everywhere that Sadie went, her Drama Book was sure to go. “Louise Budd sold tickets at the Majestic Theatre. “Mona Burke did go to Mars, but came back within three days, fully de- cided that this world was best. “Dorothy Campbell, in cap and gown, played innocent girl graduate parts during the football season at the Bowl, Yale. “Beatrice Carro and Lillian Scheffreen were fired to ambition by their course in Literature. Under the names of ‘Beaumont and Fletcher,’ they published ‘Weissnichtwo.’ Lillian as Beaumont supplied the plot, while Beatrice added the touches of art. “Elizabeth Charleton became a dare-devil movie actress, and risked her life many times—jumping from moving trains, falling from cliffs and ‘vamping’ old men. “Alice Clark invented an electric typewriter, and reaped enormous profits from her patent, which she devoted almost entirely to the establishment of a home for old-fashioned stenographers who had ‘worked themselves to their finger bones’ to attain SPEED. “Marion Condon was kept busy during her lifetime, collecting alimony from three sources and allotting it to her extravagant tastes. “Margaret Conkling was the manager of an exclusive skating rink in the Back Bay, where every B. U. man was welcome. “Helen Connolly operated the latest bookkeeping machine, a device which did away with all accountants. “Mary Cox forgot her ‘wild and woolly’ dreams as a stunt performer in a floating circus. “Phyllis Culbert managed a railroad system known as the ‘Slow But Sure Way.’ “Helen Davidson preached communism via air waves, and was sentenced preac U ; to study the Law.

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St. Peter Sees the Class of 1924 2000 A.D.! St. Peter looked up at the new calendar above his desk in sur- prise, and shaking his hoary head, exclaimed, ‘‘My time has come at last. Judg- ment Day is come, after all these weary centuries of waiting.” THAT DAY there was no light. Cyclones swept away all that men had built, and rain and hail washed clean the sites where the signs of civilization and culture had been. Early the Summons thundered forth from Heaven for all humankind to gather outside the Celestial Gates. Only once would the Gates be opened to admit the waiting throng. Within a brief space of time, millions of poor, miserable human beings, with bowed heads and trembling limbs had as- sembled and were admitted into the Great Chamber, guarded by St. Peter alone, there to await their Call. At last the gates were closed. Suddenly, there was a shrill cry: “O, St. Peter, please open the gates and let mein. I am only a minute late!” “Your name?”’ sternly demanded St. Peter. “It is Theresa Arratto. It was going to be changed, but I was late for the wedding. Oh, please let me in!” Throughout that Chamber echoed the name of Theresa Arratto, and one hundred and ten gray-haired women pushed their way through the multitude to St. Peter and pleaded with him to permit their remaining classmate to enter. Moved to compassion by their pleas, he opened the Gates and let the stray wan- derer in. There were tears of joy at this ultimate reunion and fond embraces, and all the multitude rejoiced with the little group. “Theresa,” they cried, ‘‘of 1924. Where have you been all these years, and what made you so late TODAY?” “T was a social satelite in Paris until THIS happened, and had hundreds of admirers at my feet, ready to obey my most whimsical command. I was just planning a ball in honor of the second Lady Vascelles (‘Peg’ Kirby, you know— the dancer) when the Summons came, and I simply had to finish making out the invitation list. Why, here is ‘Peg’ herself, and ‘Lil’ Lehmann, who used to be editor of our ‘Sivad.’ Honestly, ‘Lil,’ your hands are still stained with ink!”’ “That,’’ Lillian answered with a smile, ‘‘was caused by all the excitement. I was working on my greatest novel when I was commanded to come here and in my haste tipped over an enormous inkwell. “Tl tell you what. Since we are all here, let each girl give an account of herself since graduation in 1924.”’ All agreed to this suggestion, and the stories were begun. Glancing at St. Peter, I saw him seated at his desk, pen in hand, ready to write. Moved by great curiosity, I looked over his shoulder and watched him write the following: “Florrie Alderson met with success as an aviatrix and explorer. 194

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“Dorothy Davis was made President of Hamilton College. “Eva Davis evolved a stretching system for little people and published it in pamphlet form. The idea came to her from constant looking-up to her six- feet-four husband. “Lorette Cloutier, who had been raised on yeast, became a leading manniquin. “Adelaide Dodge taught ‘What Not To Sing’ at Wellesley College, the posi- tion being a direct hand-down from THE Professor. “Florence Donovan captained the ‘Women’s Basketball Squadron’ in the War of 1999. “Marie Dooley was an authority on obsolete French. “Gladys Fish demonstrated dancing without movement of limbs. “Cora Falconer played her part as head waitress at Schrafft’s. “Ray Franzblau was a soap-box orator at $5.00 per hour in the interests of the promotion of world peace. ‘Hazel Faulkner was a nurse in the Turkish Army, and not a single patient in her ward ever had the least desire to get well. “Eileen Green conducted a pawnshop in Manila, P. I. “Elizabeth Heath measured degrees of heat and cold in a physics laboratory. ‘Patricia Horan appeared as the bareback rider at Keith’s circuit for twenty years. ‘Helen Howland compiled a dictionary. “Kathryn Huckins, well-experienced in the acting of Spanish plays at C.S.5S., turned her attention to the coaching of Spanish plays. “Virginia Hughes became President of the Anglo-Japanese Alliance. “Agnes Hurley obtained a position at the Boston Public Library under her ‘Bill.’ “Marion Holtzgreen collected pictures for many years; first for her scrap- book of famous men, and later for the Rogues’ Gallery at the Charlestown State Prison. ‘Leah Immerman had been a lawyer and the first woman who did not have to pass the bar, under the ruling that prohibition was for men only. “Elsie Jackson joined an acrobatic troupe. “Marie Jones improved the Einstein theory, and was the first woman to apply the principle of Relativity to deep thought. “Pauline Jenness, whose dormitory room was so aptly decorated with the sign ‘No Trespassing, Keep off the Grass,’ designed the latest craze—grass-cloth material for dresses. “Mary Johnson—called ‘Our Mayr’ by the class, was the wealthiest woman in the land. To all the world she was known as the ‘Angel of the Poor.’ “Ada Kilkenny ran a dancing school for fat people. ‘Alice Kingston became the speediest reporter in the Supreme Court of the United States. Marion Levin owned, managed and edited a newspaper of her own. 196