Bloomington High School - Aepix Yearbook (Bloomington, IL)

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THE AEGIS THE SAD SOPHOMORES SOLILOQUY MARGARET HAYWARD. fWith abject apologies to William Shakespearej To dig, or not to dig,-that is the question 5 Whether tis better to thrust aside with virtuous hand the merry invitation to the dance, Or gladly take the joy that beams upon our wayward paths, And in so doing fail? To toil,-to moilg- To burn the midnight lamp, and, by our toil, to say we end The dread suspense that waits upon each student ln these classic halls,-'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To work,-to delve,- To dig! perchance to Hunk I-Ay, there's the rub! For in that heartless quiz upon the morrow What questions may be sprung Must give us pause. There's the thing That makes calamity of so long cramming 5 But who would bear the shrugs and sneers of 'Csharks, Their haughty mien, their scornful eyes! To think of all our pangs of envy, tears of rage, When we have torn us from our textbooks' gracious anchor And are flung upon uncharted seas of airy questionings With which our smiling tutor doth us enrage! When we might drown our cares 5 toss to the winds our woes, Ay, and to the Majestic go! There, to contemplate The classic dance, and tinkling music, which To our bruised and wounded spirit ministers a soothing balm. Who would bookish burdens bear, To groan and writhe under a weary task, But that the dread of something after school A summons to the Presence so august, from which No luckless Wight returns unscathed, puzzles the will And makes us rather bear those ills we have, Than Hy to others that We know not of ? Thus, conscience Q?j doth make cowards of us all 5 And thus the native bent to indolence Is sicklied oter with the pale cast of fear 3 And enterprises of great joy and revelry, Do thus, with thoughts of those all-powerful slips,'7 And that unfailing Eye, their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action. 26

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THE AEGIS Again we see Jerry at home, still grumbling about his wife's flopping and his hard luck with his 'fwenturesf' He gets quite eloquent over his supper. And mind you 3 he says to his wife, no games tomorrow! If I as an hon- est tradesman succeed in providing a jinte of meat or two, none of your not touch- ing of it, and sticking to bread. When you go to Rome, do as Rome does. Rome will be an ugly customer to you, if you don't. Fm your Rome, you know. He also atfectingly and delicately indicates that a mother's lirst duty is to blow her boy out.', In France he is nothing but an English bull-dog with no design in his head but to ily at anybody who touches his master. When Carton and Barsad arc playing their strange game of cards, Cruncher suddenly pops up with his spiky hair fwhich Dickens says could not have been more violently on end if it had been that moment dressed by the Cow with the crumpled horn in the house that J ack built,j and confronts Barsad like a ghostly bailiff. It's you that I have got a old grudge again, is it, with your shameful im- positions upon tradesmen. I'd catch hold of your throat and chokle you for half a guinea. He seeemed to think this quite a liberal offer and made rather an ostentatious show of his liberality. When Mr. Lorry endeavors to find out Jerryfs real occupation, the latter gets quite nervous. Dickens says he changed the leg on which he rested as often as if he had fifty of those. limbs, and were trying them all, he examined his finger- nails with a very questionable closeness of attention, and he was taken with that peculiar kind of cough requiring the hollow of a. hand before it, which is seldom, if ever, known to be an inlirmity attendant on perfect openness of character. Jerry is sure Mr. Lorry knows he is a 'KResurrection Man and he as much as tells him so himself, yet he repeatedly says, even if it was so-don't say it is, but even if it was, and tries to make Mr. Lorry think that 'fprewaricatingn is im- possible for him. Again he gets absurdly tangled up when he says: MUpon that there stool, at that there bar, sets that there boy of mine, brought up and growed up to be a man, wot will errand you, message you, general-light-job you, till your heels is where your head is, if such should be your wishes. The last time we see Jerry, he is in quite a noble state of mind. He desires Miss Pross to take notice of two Uwowsy' respecting a. 'ffuture spear o' life. The first, not very clear, that never no more will he dow it, never no more! -sup- posedly that strange trade of his. The second was that never no more will he interfere with Mrs. Cruncherls Hopping, never no morell' So Jerry is useful as well as ornamental, and when the reader has iinished 'CA Tale of Two Citiesl' he feels he can see this singular man from the top of his spiky head to the tips of his muddy boots. A maid with a duster, Once made a great bluster A dusting a bust in the hall, And when it was dusted, The bust it was busted, The bust is now dust, that is all. - Ex. 25

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THE AEGIS MR. DOOLEY VISITS THE DRAMATIC CLUB'S ENTERTAINMENT Q- JOHN O'NEIL. Shure Hinnissy! Wantin' to kape up wid th' dlreft iv th' times, I im now enteristin' mesilf in th' dhramatik club in Ameriky, consiquintly I go whir'r th' viry bist is oflired. Not many weeks sinse, I attinded thra plays all in wan evenin', an' they were all iv thim Aixeillint, upliftin', and well dun. By th' well selieted audjience prisint, I cud till at wunoe thet no pains had bin shpared tu make 'th' produeshuns faymus throo th' lingth an' brith iv th' land. I woz glad tu find mesilf whir-r I cud du viry keerful obsarvin'. Th' fir-rst ixhibishun tu be perfarmed wuz wan iv a sintimintal an' dhramatik nachoor. Lookin' on me progrim, I saw it wuz written by a ledy iv th' name iv Jinnie Smith. It wuz a play showin' how difyeult it is f'r wimmin to keep shtillg but ther tungs were held back by th' idee iv a new dhress f'r an approehun weddin'. Becuz iv th' quare acshuns which they hed to go throo, th' nayboors conelooded they hed sum kind iv peshtilinee an' th' helth offiser wuz called, but it all inded in a gineral reeoneillyashun. . Hinnissey, it wuz in this play thet Retehil Harbur, Gleddis Heyden, Lorin Loois, an' Howr-rd Ray made ther futur-rg an' th' City iv Blumin'tun wil-l sind furwurd an army iv players. The nixt play wuz Th' Unixpioted Guests by Willyum Dean Howells. 'Twas here shown eoncloosivly that womin is nachurly a pervarieater. A womin invites a number iv eupples to hev dhinner with her an' her husbind. Th' frinds all begin to come, an' tu th' sorrer iv th' hostis, an unixpieted cupple come. Th' hostis pertinded that she hed ixpieted them, whin indade she hed n't. Thin Hin- nissy, th' poor ledy wuz in thrubel. But her val'unt man hilped her out. An' it all inded by the' hostis raydin' the unixpieted guests' note iv ixeiptince instid iv rayfuzal as she hed thot. The ithieal valyoo iv the dhrama. wuz here appharint thet nhonisty is th' bist polyeyf' This play projooced tu blazin' lights in Hazel Smith and Frasher McIntosh who will hereafther, I im thold, make ther livin' on th' stage. Thin Hinnissy, I shtarted to go but a fellow thold me ther wuz anither play. I thot he wuz wan iv th' frishmin thryin' tu kid me, bu whin I looked on me pro- grim, ther wuz wan an' it wuz called Set in Turkquoisf' Th' seen wuz layed in Oryintal parts an' the seenery wuz butayful. Tl1is play had a viry complyeated p-lot. Th' Count made a wayger wid th' Countis thet he will not be jilous iv her. She wid th' hilp iv a gir-rl frind ar-rouse th' jilousy iv th' Count so much thet he choked th' aeeumplace iv the Countis. It wuz so thrue tu liff thet I lifted me sate to interfare in behilf iv th' ledy, but wuz called to me sinses by th' kindness iv a mimber pullin' me by me coat tail. Thin the Countis explayned an' got an imirild nieeklis as th' wayger. The wurruds iv the seen, wuz large, mouth-iillin, an' poetic. Mr. Fir-rohmin wuz lookin' f'r Earl Ewert and Hilin Parmilee but ther parints objietid to ther beeomin' perfesshunils, an' ther ye ar-re. The plays wuz th' bist T ,iver seen and the admishun wuz only fiftayne cints, an' by th' time th' perfarmers hev perfarmed a ye-er more, large silaries will be watin' f'r thim. E 27